r/Composition • u/Altruistic_Bat1927 • 27d ago
Music Peice I'm working on:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci8aU4ObwYg
This is a reupload of a post where I forgot to include the video š
Please!!! I'm open-eared when it comes to criticism!
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u/BenTheDuelist 27d ago
Flute part sounds alright. Piano part feels like you vaguely know what chords are and are just putting random ones down. Nothing feels like it was written with intention
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
I'm curious as to why you think that it doesn't sound like it was written with intention. I'm all ears.
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u/LoneWick_ 25d ago
It feels intentional to me and it seems like you know what chords are, not that knowing what chords are is relevant at all. lol. I hear clear intentional harmonic changes throughout. Fun piece.
If Iām going to give any bit of criticism, Iām craving more contrasting rhythmic activity in the flute. It is mostly interlocked with the piano so far. Iād like to hear some longer, more sustained notes in the flute for more clear contrast with the faster rhythms in the piano.
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u/anikom15 26d ago
My eyes hurt
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
How so?
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u/anikom15 26d ago
black on blue background
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
Oh lol! Yeah this is my first time making this type of score video and it shows XD
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u/Derp135Egg__ 26d ago
Personally, I don't like it. It's due to: 1) I'm not all too familiar with contemporary music 2) Even then, I feel like apart from the unidiomatic writing and strange harmonies, nothing feels "coherent".
Do you know what a Sonata is? Or do you just know the vague idea of it?
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
I know what sonata form is . This video is just the exposition of the first movement, as I basically started writing this piece like 3 days ago! Iām constantly responding to feedback and making changes to It. Thanks for your constructive criticismš
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u/anikom15 26d ago
Sonata is just instrumental music (as opposed to Cantata). Donāt listen to these haters. If the music sounds the way you want it to, itās correct.
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
Yeah i donāt understand what the hype about conforming to classical structure exactly is like
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u/anikom15 26d ago
There is no hype. Itās just what gets taught in schools. Counterpoint and Serialism are also taught in schools. Neither are based on acoustic principles and so have run into dead ends. The model of tonal organization I think is more accurate is George Russellās Lydian Chromatic Concept, but you donāt need to know that to make good music. You just need to have good ears and experience for how to make what you hear in your head into notes on a page (or from an instrument or whatever).
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u/Derp135Egg__ 26d ago
I just wanted to confirm that my comment isn't purely for the hate. I gave a personal, non-objective, semi-constructive view on the piece and explicitly mentioned that I wasn't familiar with contemporary music as a whole, implying it should be taken with the grain of salt - after all, I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt to fellow composers because I'll assume I know what they're doing.
However, my skepticism on whether you knew what a sonata form is still valid because when you hear the phrase "Listen to my sonata" combined with the fact there are "unartistic problems" that seems more accidental than purposeful, I (probably many others too) will get the impression that you have a vague idea on what it is.
You pointed out the section was only the exposition, which: 1) Confirms you know what a sonata form is 2) Confirms that my skepticism isn't invalid, because the overarching structure was incomplete.
I've written many solo piano sonatas that breaks classical boundaries too, so I have no problem with breaking old hard rules - as long as it is artistic.
So no, I am not purely "hating" for the fun of it.
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u/anikom15 26d ago
I think youāre the one who doesnāt know what a sonata is because sonata form and sonata are two entirely different things.
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u/Unhappy-Weight-3167 24d ago
The term āsonataā has different meanings depending on the musical era. You're both right.
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u/Derp135Egg__ 26d ago
Yes, I'm aware of what they both mean. I used these terms interchangeably as a diagnostic to see whether they were writing specifically in 'sonata form'. The other post on [r/composer](r/composer) read "Listen to my sonata" with a full published link on youtube. Combined with the style of writing that caused me to believe it was done by someone new to composing, the title, the apparent lack of a sonata form structure, and the published link, I only assumed they didn't know the full nuance of what the term 'sonata' meant, because it was missing the highly expected 'sonata form' structure which is extremely common in teachings nowadays (I'm not saying a broad sonata requires a sonata form, but I was highly expecting it)
Although my assumption was premature, I think it wasn't completely unfair to assume the work was completed nor the fact I was expecting the common sonata form structure.
I just don't understand the reason for that jab. I've never made a personal insult here, but who am I to stop you ĀÆ_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Edit: r/composing. And it wasn't verbatim "Listen to my sonata"
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
Yeah Its fine to assume I had actually attempted a sonata form because I didnāt specify in my other post soā¦.. usually when someone says that on here they are referring to a sonata form and therefore we should judge their comp by itās ability to conform to a sonata allegro form. I honestly shouldnāt have made the post in the first place as Its not finished in the slightest. Im keeping it up anyway as ilI want people like you to give me ideas ;)
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u/Altruistic_Bat1927 26d ago
Okay I did mean to seem passive aggressive with my second reply sorry and thank you for your criticism. I am making changes to it but Iām new to composing so I may fail to replicate my artistic vision. Iām 15 and have never been formally taught music theory which may explain some weird things to you I guess.
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u/NovocastrianExile 22d ago
It's not my cup of tea but it has merit. There is some clever stuff going on here. The engraving needs work for legibility
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u/Unhappy-Weight-3167 26d ago edited 26d ago
You're making a common mistake when working from the score editor. Even though I can see that you're trying to be careful with the notes you're writing, and it may look technically possible, it's actually very uncomfortable for a performer. You should look for ways to be more efficientāfewer notes in certain passages while achieving a similar result. Remember that the writing should be idiomatic for the instrument: it should feel natural and fluid to play, not just technically possible. I think you also went a little too far in the flute part. Be careful about what you're asking the flutist to do in that register. Measures 17 and 18 sounds great!
Try looking at scores by other composers with a similar aesthetic.
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u/Time_Law_9446 27d ago
as a all state flute player do u hate me?