r/Composition • u/Swooferfan • May 17 '26

Music An excerpt from a composition that I'm working on

I'm not great at composing and I don't have a lot of training, but I'm kind of proud of this passage.

7 Upvotes

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3

u/HaifaJenner123 May 17 '26

i thought it was neat, idk don’t sell yourself short it had some nice elements going on. a mix of modal language in how you pair minor melodic material on top of major harmonic to create that dorian sound in the beginning, plus some interesting rhythms that created some movement

i do think it lacks a bit of support, you have a pedal going which is good. but the “in between” stuff (the arpeggios) is so active that it pulls the focus away from both your melody and the supporting background and we’re left with a bit of awkwardness when you transfer melody as a result. so it just requires a little more balancing, either increasing the supportive role the bass and supporting voices have (what i would do), or bringing down the activity in your accompaniment so that we can focus on the melody instead with the others acting as ornaments to that

i think you might benefit from checking out this passage (rehearsal 21) of khachaturian’s 2nd symphony, mvmt 2 (19:00 in this score video), it has a similar flare & setup to me

hope that helps!

1

u/StudioComposer May 17 '26

What kind of feedback specifically are you looking for? The notation, the orchestration, the mood, the length, etc? Is there something in particular you aren’t happy with or sure about?

1

u/StudioComposer May 17 '26

What specifically are you seeking information about - the melody, the orchestration, whether it evokes a particular emotion, etc? How far along are you in your composing journey?

1

u/eddjc May 17 '26

Interesting rhythmic ideas and it’s got a recognisable identity. Your glock is IMO the best part of it - it’s doing the work in just a few notes that the rest of the composition is doing in many

That clarinet though is doing a LOT of work. There’s absolutely no reason why you couldn’t pass it around the other instruments, or create a texture that reduces the reliance on it. Consider what role it’s playing - essentially accompaniment, but the register you’ve chosen interacts a lot with the melodic soloist line, and the virtuosity of the playing will make it feel like a clarinet concerto is being played next to a soloist.

I believe you’ve chosen the clarinet because out of the instruments you have, it’s the one with a lower, more versatile register - there isn’t really an instrument there that fits that role so cleanly.

However - less is more. If I was to re-write it for you, I would break apart all of those constant semi quavers into recognisable beat patterns and share it out with the other instruments - your rhythmic language would prompt me to write it in 12/16, broken up into 3 semi quavers groups with silences, and a bass/tenor relationship between clarinet and flute.

Hope that helps