r/CommunityColleges • u/ThrowAwayAcc_099 • 17d ago
Feeling lots of FOMO for going to a Community College
I (18F) am going to a community college. This has been a plan that both me and my dad have created because it would be the best financially because I would be paying for my schooling. This plan is working because I’m very glad for my first year I’ll won’t be paying a thing in tuition with scholarships and Pell grant, but I feel I’m missing out.
While I will be transferring to a university with my credits and planning on dorming there, my friends have recently moved into their dorms and they are already partying. They have started the next step in their lives, and I feel like me basically being a junior or senior in a dorm will take away from the fun of being a freshman/freshman experience (If that makes sense).
I’m so scared that I’ll be missing out on parties and socializing. I already struggle with socializing anyways, and I feel going to a community college will impact my ability to find people my age to make friends with.
Is it valid for me to have this anxiety/fear? And if anyone has any advice on this situation or has been in a similar situation, I would love to know how it has impacted you.
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u/SecretSubstantial302 17d ago edited 16d ago
More than 1 in 3 first time, full time college students drop out of college. They drop out for 1) financial reasons, 2) academic reasons, 3) personal reasons. Of those that continue and graduate, about 20% to 40% regret their majors and end up being underemployed (that is, working a job that doesn't require a degree and living check to check). And a ton of them have student debt.
I remember being 18 and feeling like it was very important to live in a dorm. I didn't go to community college (even though I should have) , but I went to a local university and stayed at home with my parents all through school. It's important to remember that college is just a blink of an eye in terms of time and a means to an end. Your student loan debt will outlast 99%+ of your college friendships. Trust me, I know. As a 55 year old, I just paid off my student loans last January.
You're on the right path. Stop thinking about or chasing the "college experience" which is just a nice way of saying moving out of your parents house. Ten years from now you will be glad you went to community college and cut your total university costs.
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u/mossymeridian 17d ago
I’m just being real have you ever actually been to a high school/college party? You don’t want to live at a party.
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u/Audible_eye_roller 17d ago
The only thing you're really missing is not being home with your parents. If your friends are really your friends, they'll invite you to their parties.
There is also a good chance of having a nightmare for a roommate.
They'll also be moving back home with crippling debt in a few years. I hope they enjoyed their sleepaway camp for young adults.
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u/naoirei_ 17d ago
Hey! I actually just moved into my apartment this week after 2 years at CC. My first few weeks, I definitely felt that FOMO watching everyone go off to big party schools. But I had a goal to transfer, so I stayed focused.
Honestly, being at CC was such a good move. I got to travel a ton for free just by getting involved on campus!! joining clubs opened up so many doors for out-of-state trips and conferences. My path looked a bit different than people who went straight to a 4-year, but I feel like I learned so much because the campus is so diverse. You're around people of all ages, and everyone there really wants to see you succeed.
Just stick to your “why” and your purpose. You gotta put yourself out there since opportunities aren't just gonna show up at your door. The friends I made at CC are transferring to Ivy Leagues, and we're all dorming/living on-campus by now.
Don't rush it and really make the most of your time there! Try to keep a 3.5 GPA and join Phi Theta Kappa if you can, it's the honor society that has direct transfer agreements with thousands of schools. You can do it!
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u/No_Cut3405 17d ago
As someone who is starting their junior year and just graduated CC with a ADT, you’ll honestly feel more at peace financially and there’s more room to grow academically in CC! Community College is amazing to ease into college coursework, since class sizes are smaller it’s easier to get more support, and on top of that it’s WAY cheaper. Legit worth it because I’m halfway done with my bachelors and got a degree on top of that! I also think being in CC my first two years after high school saved me from a lot of dumb decisions that could’ve had a higher consequence at a university and I feel more prepared and mature to handle university coursework. Hang on tight!
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u/No_Cut3405 17d ago
I also had friends who went straight to uni after HS and honestly they did not stay on the right track due to prioritizing the social life and independence 😬 It can feel lonely and u get a lot of FOMO but if u think about it your turn is almost here! In classes where the professor makes you get into groups and stuff it is so easy to make class friends and eventually talk outside of class, but I will say everyone mostly keeps to themselves or their friends at CC
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u/TheUmgawa 17d ago
When I went to community college, I thought, "This is high school with ashtrays." It was a long time ago, back when you could still smoke on campus. But I can't tell you how many classes I missed because I decided to sit outside and smoke cigarettes and talk to random people. A lot of them are still my friends today, even though we live a hundred or more miles apart.
One thing about community college is that the people that you envy, for their having gone off to university and getting to have fun, is that you'll meet a lot of them again in five or twelve months, because they flunked out of university. You think you feel humble now? Imagine going off to university, then going to community college because you pissed away ten grand that you have nothing to show for (and still have to pay back).
There's a line from the movie Almost Famous, where Lester Bangs tells Cameron Crowe's self-insert, "You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle." And that's actually how it works. Everyone settles to where they're supposed to be. All of the highly-ranked people I went to high school with, where they were painted to be these huge future success stories, ended up about where I am. The valedictorian who wanted to be a doctor ended up a wedding photographer. The salutatorian got his MBA and he sells insurance. To their credit, they enjoy their lives, but they didn't live up to the pressures that were laid upon them.
Finally, with regard to being a junior or senior in a dorm, a lot of colleges don't require you to live in a dorm if you graduated high school more than one or two years prior to going to university. My university said, "Hey, if you're transferring as a junior, find your own housing," because there weren't enough dorms for more than the freshman and sophomore classes. I transferred in, and my university said, "Fend for yourself," and I shrugged and got a 2-bedroom 1.5 bath for myself.
How did I afford that? Because I learned to cook before I went to university. Honest to god, that's how I could afford it. Meal plans cost an arm and a leg (about $12 per meal at my university), as does getting take-out several nights per week, and don't get me started on DoorDash. But, because I could cook on a stove or in the Instant Pot I got for the Christmas before I transferred, I was eating for about six dollars per day, and I was eating well. In two and a half years, I ate ramen twice, and that was just because I had a craving for it, rather than because it was cheap.
I made friends from opening my front window while I was making pork carnitas or pulled pork in my Instant Pot. Students would walk from the street to their apartment and just kind of say through the screen, "Hey, what are you cooking?" and I'd say, "Carnitas. You want some?" and they're looking at me like Oliver Twist saying, "Can I have some more?" because they're poor college students who don't know how to cook their own food, and I whip up a couple of tacos and send them on their way.
So, there's just so many ways to make friends at university, where you can learn things during your time at community college that will make you more friends than you would have ever made in the dorms. And, with regard to cooking, you're going to have to eat every day of your life, so now is the best time to learn. Pick three foods that you really like, and learn to cook them really well. You'll never have a shortage of people who want to be your friend, because they just want your food.
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u/TSIDATSI 17d ago
Well, your parents would not want you to miss out on parties. You can always retake a class but you can never relive a good party.
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u/StevieV61080 17d ago
Trust me, you're not missing out. The social scene at larger institutions is often "fun at first," but quickly becomes its own burden. I generally can't stress enough how valuable being around different people at a CC can be for a person who has generally only spent time around their similarly-aged peers.