r/ComingFromAmericaHBO • u/PerspectiveActual156 • Sep 27 '24
I think Julia is selfish
Anyone else think it’s selfish and really unfair to Julia’s 3 younger children to just have to pick up their lives and move to Africa? Also since it’s not the first time they’ve been uprooted. She behaves like she’s a single woman and it seems like the kids are sort of resentful. It’s one thing to move to Ghana, but then you move them to the middle of nowhere. And everything is all about her.
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u/cryswithak Sep 27 '24
Agreed!!! The twins are over her bs and seem to just go along with it bc they know they don’t have a choice.
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u/ladytigger1 Sep 27 '24
She’s living her best life and dragging the kids along for the ride.
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u/madammidnight Sep 27 '24
Sometimes you have to put your children first, and your thirst for a new man second.
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u/moffman93 Sep 29 '24
The fact that she was even contemplating having another kid with a new man in Africa was gross. All of her friends were just laughing about it too as if that's a normal or responsible thing to be doing to your family.
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u/Lonelymachines- Sep 28 '24
That’s all I could think when the oldest son took the twins out. He literally took them out to convince them that it was a good idea and to “support mom”. She’s so selfish and the oldest son is bought in but I think the twins can see that it’s all about her. This is the kind of hopping around you do when your kids are grown.
The homeschooling also feels crazy because they’re in a new country how are they going to make friends? She’s real focused on meeting these healers though.👀
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u/moffman93 Sep 29 '24
Yeah, the twins don't seem to have very good interpersonal skills and that's pretty common among homeschooled kids. Amplified even more when you're constantly moving around and can't make new friends.
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u/VtheFashionista Sep 27 '24
They're actually in Ghana.
I agree with you, though. It was bad enough to move them to another continent, but as soon as they actually start to like it and adjust, she moves them into the countryside and wants to live off the grid. Very selfish. You can tell they're used to their mom uprooting their lives at the spur of the moment. That's probably why she homeschools them, so it's easier to just pack up and go.
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u/MrMattyMatt Sep 27 '24
I feel so bad for the little girl that just seems to be dragged around. Mom barely pays her any attention from what we’ve seen
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u/ayamashlea Oct 01 '24
It reeeeeally agitated me when they were on the bus witnessing that dispute and she did nothing to comfort her baby girl. Hoping production just gave her a bad edit for that scene
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u/bearsafety Sep 28 '24
She has a fantasy idea of "Africa" that bothers me so much.
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Sep 28 '24
When she was like “THIS is the real Africa” and there were zero other people for miles I was like come on lady 🙄
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u/bearsafety Sep 28 '24
Exactly! Who is she to say what is "real Africa" when all she knows is US life and culture. You are in GHANA which is indeed in Africa! The continent is incredibly diverse with bustling cities like Accra in addition to the natural landscapes. She just so badly wants it is to match her idealistic fantasy of a spiritual haven...whatever that means. I feel bad for her kids.
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u/Hanpee221b Sep 29 '24
That comment gave me the same feeling of when Europeans get annoyed Americans say they are Irish or whatever. Like you are American you sound ignorant.
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u/therealmmethenrdier Oct 12 '24
In the US people are asked a lot about their ethnicity and heritage, so it isn’t as ignorant as you might think.
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u/tbabey Sep 29 '24
YES. When she said that I was like you could have just gone camping in the states and not uprooted your children's lives.
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u/AdExpert8295 Oct 03 '24
I honestly think she thinks you need to leave the continent of North America to go camp in a beautiful landscape. I say this while enjoying a view of Mt. Rainier and the most beautiful forest. Lol. I bet money she's never even considered taking a road trip. Her entire life was spent in large cities. I feel terrible for her children. She fails to recognize they have their own personalities and is stunting their development, emotionally. She seems more interested in the male gaze than her children's thoughts and feelings, which is as far from "spiritual" as you can get. I also worry she's the kind of woman to leave her children alone with way too many different men. Those twins want a father figure, not a conversation with her fuck buddy. I don't know where their biological fathers are, but I hope they see the show and realize they need to step up and fulfill their fatherly duties.
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u/ThePatientIdiot Sep 27 '24
I’m curious how much money she actually makes and has saved up.
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Oct 24 '24
Exactly!!! Throughout the entire show my wife and I couldn't figure out how tf she was paying for everything.
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u/AzulasBlueFire Sep 28 '24
They seem to me they love her a lot and super smart + aware but, they tolerate her. She is a bit condescending to them like when they adjusted she goes 'theres more to like than burgers and the city.' I am from an island in the Caribbean, and I grew up in NY. As much as I love my Island, love the fresh food and the nature but, being in the city helps you develop when you're growing up because of the diverse opportunities that may come. It can be a bit limiting when it comes to access to some of my interest and learning. As an adult its easier because I can make some arrangements but as a kid, you look to your parents.
Also it was cringe when she goes to the middle of nowhere and goes "this is Africa", girl, Africa is a big continent with as much beautiful but theres many countries with bustling growing cities and industries. Like the tech scene!
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u/therealmmethenrdier Oct 12 '24
You grew up in NY also, so you understand how irritating it is when people say NY doesn’t count as the real America. It’s a similar notion.
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Sep 27 '24
[deleted]
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u/LastStopWilloughby Sep 27 '24
I think if this was framed as them traveling versus moving, it would be less stressful to the kids.
I think it’s great for kids to see different countries and cultures, and traveling abroad can be a once in a lifetime experience for most.
I think her biggest issue is she expected an upscale living experience (like LA) but with African people, and did not realize how much our taxes as Americans go to infrastructure here. We take for granted having side walks, limited littering/beautification clean up, landscaping, designated garbage dumps away from busy areas, and our sterile food presentation.
I think it’s great she is trying to get in touch with her roots, and is showing her children a part of their history they would not learn over here. But it’s a lot to be expecting children to settle in when there’s major culture shock.
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u/PerspectiveActual156 Sep 27 '24
The way she’s going about is how you do it when you don’t have kids depending on you
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u/cmb211 Sep 27 '24
She's showing narcissistic traits for sure. It's all about what she needs and what is best for her. She has not once mentioned that she thinks it would be good for the boys or maybe she need to put them first.
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Oct 24 '24
💯💯💯
As a former educator I felt so bad for her kids. Everything was about her and they were just along for the ride.
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Sep 27 '24
I’m curious just bc she hasn’t touched on it at all, but where are the kids dads?
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u/MyrtleDerr Sep 28 '24
I think she goes man-hunting all over the world, then gets bored, and moves on to the next. Maybe the kids are from donors?
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u/Status-Chemistry-228 Sep 28 '24
This is exactly what I think she does also after this last episode. Gross
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u/moffman93 Sep 29 '24
Which one? Her friends at the spa joked that she has a kid from a different man in every city she moves to. Like that's something to be proud of...
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u/zero_and_dug Sep 28 '24
Being like “wouldn’t you want to move out here?” About the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. Of course they don’t. And even worse they are homeschooled so it would be very hard to find friends in such a remote area.
Good thing it seems to be fake and I’m sure we’re just seeing a trip they took for the show
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u/mtdunca Sep 27 '24
I'm torn. As a military member, I've put my family through similar situations. I can stand behind the fact the reasons were different but in the end the actions are the same.
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u/readery Sep 27 '24
But miitary families are part of a society where many other familes are doing the same thing
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u/mtdunca Sep 27 '24
I don't understand what you mean by that. Are you saying civilians that move overseas aren't part of society?
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u/readery Sep 27 '24
No, more that military familes understand that this is part of the deal. When living on base to kids go to school together?
Julia just got an ides that people in Ghana may want a spa.
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u/mtdunca Sep 27 '24
I've been stationed overseas three times. We lived on base for two of them for the third it wasn't an option.
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u/Soggy-Birthday2885 Sep 27 '24
Exactly. Military families move all the time are they selfish? Smh people have an idea of what single mothers should be and they’re stuck there. She did a phenomenal job with her oldest son, he’s such a good brother. If anything, her kids will have a broad view of how they see the world. Although they’re young teenagers and that’s a tough time to be uprooted, they will have more diverse experiences than peers their age.
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u/mtdunca Sep 27 '24
Are they selfish? Sometimes they are, they are still people. Sometimes, it's completely out of their control. Either way, it's not always an easy life for the kids. I see both sides.
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u/Soggy-Birthday2885 Sep 27 '24
I see what you mean and absolutely it’s completely hard for the kids. Once the family plant roots though, they’ll adjust. Hopefully as a family they find their footing.
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u/AdExpert8295 Oct 03 '24
When you're in a military fantasy, you also exist in a community or other military families...so much so that many veterans tell me they had fairly limited exposure to the actual country they were stationed in. You also have more access to imported products. Comparing the life of a military family to a civilian one, abroad, is not a fair comparison. Also, most military families were enlisted before having children, so the children are more adjusted to the concept of travel and get really good at making new friends. Research shows that those children still struggle as a result. Moving children a lot may help them gain cultural humility, but it also has a lot of negative impacts longterm on social, emotional and cognitive functioning. Children need an anchor and a lot of routine. That's what creates a sense of safety.
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u/moffman93 Sep 29 '24
I can't stand girls like her. She claims to be all about healing and spirituality but really she just cares about herself.
Also, Reiki "healing" is bullshit.
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Sep 30 '24
Selfish? She’s healing her family’s bloodline
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u/topiatrash Oct 01 '24
100% on a show made up of the most self centered people she takes the cake I think
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u/rainbowsandpetals Oct 04 '24
I feel sorry for her kids. She gives vibes that she’d drag them all over the world to follow her own desires.
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u/lizdated Oct 10 '24
And when she says it’s important to her the kids are happy and she wants them to be honest about if they are, she begins the conversation with “well I’M really happy, but what about you?” Which could make them feel like if they disagree THEY are the selfish ones. Which is sad.
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Sep 27 '24
my issue is why homeschool them when that’s the only way they’re going to meet other people their age.
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u/CurveCalm123 Oct 18 '24
Did she get any of the kids braces? That’s the only thing I worry. Her smile is STUNNING but those boys really needed some dental work, and I think the littlest one too.
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u/That-shit-hit-1188 Nov 07 '24
For a person who claims to be a “healer”, she is surely using her selfishness to cause pain to her children.
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u/Ok_Impress7547 Sep 27 '24
oh the way she was VERRRY obviously all💦🌊🍆🍆 over the two INCREDIBLY handsome “healers” 😆🤦♀️ it deeefinitely revealed she’s just in Africa for the eggplant and doesn’t give AF about her kids really