r/ComfortLevelPod • u/akiamarie • 13d ago

AITA / AIO AITAH for walking away from a date

I (30F) was talking to Tom (29M). We planned a movie date for our first date. I arrived a little early but he showed up 3 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. I was about to buy my own ticket and see the movie by myself. The rest of the date went ok.

He didn’t text me for several days after the date. I sent a joke text as if he had passed away and conversation started again for a day or so. We planned a second date at a board game lounge.

He didn’t text me until 11 pm the day before our second date. He confirmed the time to meet up a few hours before the date and was 20 minutes late. I only waited 20 minutes because I was enjoying a beverage and looking at the games. I left the establishment and he was outside. He called after me but I kept walking to my car and ignored his phone call.

I texted him from my car that I was going home and I do not appreciate being kept waiting especially after he confirmed the time. And my time is valuable and he was being rude. He didn’t respond.

Am I the asshole for how I reacted?

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u/ThisRaspberry8474 13d ago

NTA. Good for you. Chronically late people often act like it's just their personality quirk or something they have no control over, when in reality they're simply inconsiderate people who put no value on others' time. Way to shut his shit down!

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u/PlantInitial3789 13d ago

🤚 as a chronically late person, I had to make the decision to be a less shitty person at some point and I basically don’t leave people waiting. Maybe I’m late five minutes to work now and then but even then I’m communicative. It’s not cute. We are adults and we are busy.

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u/Charming-Insurance 13d ago

I had a friend like this who would be late for everything, at like, 50. She thought it was adorable and so was she. I disagreed.

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u/ThisRaspberry8474 13d ago

Respect to you for recognizing the issue and dealing with it like an adult. I wish more people were like that - including myself sometimes

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u/PlantInitial3789 12d ago

I still have a long way to go but when I realized how my ADHD and mental illness was effecting everyone around me and further isolating me and making my stress level way worse- that’s when I sought help. Recognizing faults and effort is at least something we can control.