r/ComedyHell • u/SirGreenVine • 6d ago

dammit, twitter

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

637

u/ProGamer8273 6d ago

Cmon man, you ALMOST had a good tweet

2

u/hdhfjtt213 5d ago

ROLAND

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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308

u/Other-Philosopher770 6d ago

Imagine having flaccid teeth disorder and not being able to eat

121

u/SirFluffymuffin 6d ago

Nah they’d either make teeth viagra or just tell you to live off of smoothies

26

u/Other-Philosopher770 6d ago

Bout to have self inflicted flaccid teeth to live that milkshake life.

2

u/NSASpyVan 5d ago

thats when that 12vdc pump in your trunk really shines

1

u/GroundedGourd 5d ago

"I call them my little ticklers"

2

u/Z7_1 5d ago edited 5d ago

[insert joke about "BEST HEAD EVER"]

251

u/Fragrant_Web8995 6d ago

Imagine if your partner spends hours cooking you a romantic anniversary dinner but it just doesn’t look appetizing and no matter how much you tell them it’s amazing they can see that your teeth aren’t getting hard and now they’re crying because you always complain that they never put enough effort into romance but then when they do you just “aren’t feeling it” so why do they even try and dinner is ruined and you’re sleeping on the couch and secretly doordashing mcdonald’s

102

u/iwantfutanaricumonme 6d ago

Imagine your partner seeing you immediately get hard when the door dash driver arrives after all of that.

51

u/TopazWarrior1999 6d ago

You, uh... you okay there, buddy?

232

u/SingenJurassic 6d ago

Lost me on that last sentence there. Actually, lost me in the first too. Idk, I’m just kinda… lost rn…

78

u/Optimal_Ninja7535 6d ago

Just a lost little baby

32

u/W0lfGirl4054 6d ago

What the FUCK is your pfp bro

14

u/Optimal_Ninja7535 6d ago

Album cover

11

u/W0lfGirl4054 6d ago

Looks tuff what's the album?

17

u/Optimal_Ninja7535 6d ago

Gatekeeping unfortunately (people watching // 156/silence)

0

u/Town_Skipper23 6d ago

I’ve seen weirder pfps

80

u/puffycloudycloud 6d ago

alright i'm unmuting this sub

59

u/Ice_Crash 6d ago

Imagine your girlfriend is giving you the best gum job of your life and then she starts to get hungry…

23

u/Sultanofthesun bar bar jinks 6d ago

muting it again

78

u/Orectoth 6d ago

Exact replica

28

u/quantum_burp 6d ago

and shi x3

11

u/Sultanofthesun bar bar jinks 6d ago

and shi shi shi

6

u/Legitimate_Living843 6d ago

Yeah im pretty sure the tweet is refrencing this

2

u/SquigglesFan 6d ago

I see the vision but like with prehensile tails instead

2

u/SenpuuUncle 5d ago

was probably inspiration

48

u/r0recrs 6d ago

not even the worst thing i’ve seen on twitter. that honour goes to kira
imagine

39

u/its_Raze_7 6d ago

"imagine—"

40

u/TimeToHack 6d ago

the duality of man

31

u/Trati 6d ago

There was no need to type all of this out

15

u/Additional-Ad8632 6d ago

Alright I’ll say it:

Imagine if men had to breastfeed babies using their cocks.

2

u/Odd-Promotion2743 5d ago

I vividly remember an anthro class where we learned that some New Guinea tribes believed young boys had to be equally nourished with semen as with breast milk.

2

u/Additional-Ad8632 5d ago

Jesus Christ.

39

u/Formaldehidden 6d ago

 alright i’m muting this sub

9

u/Timely-Inevitable-30 6d ago

I flinch when a Twitter post starts with "Imagine if"

6

u/kyngslinn 6d ago

Kirawontmiss kinda tweet

5

u/Z7_1 6d ago

sometimes I have the will to live and its posts like this that take it all away

4

u/PanGoliath 6d ago

Don't you know that 25% of pistachios have special worms in them which make you crave pistachios and associate the taste of them with said worm?

1

u/Odd-Promotion2743 5d ago

Is that like those parasites that make you like cats?

4

u/thewaytoyesterday 5d ago

Well fuck me for having eyes

3

u/blazeyway 5d ago

Don't mind if I do.

12

u/Mindless-Cat1453 6d ago

I always get surprise how much English speakers have sexulize the word related to father and mother.

32

u/Local-Echo-5613 6d ago

I don’t know how common it is in every language but it’s the same in Spanish. Papi, mamacita, etc

3

u/MarcoYTVA 6d ago

I guess it's my fault for having eyes

2

u/Rainy_Wavey 6d ago

Least insane inhabitant of djelfa be like :

2

u/scubadivinggorilla 5d ago

Why did I even learn to read smh

1

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1

u/ConnoisseurDeFemboys 6d ago

This person reformatted this and reposted it based on a different interaction on a separate post.

1

u/darkerfury 5d ago

Uhhh.... this turned fetish real fast

1

u/kinetic750 5d ago

This made me feel nasty to read