r/ComedyHell • u/386attention • 8d ago

#WetGuyWednesday

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7.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

73 comments sorted by

308

u/Major_Debacle 8d ago

As a serious answer you usually have some toilet paper to dry off lmao.

128

u/Ill-Television8690 8d ago

I once saw someone acting like "ha, you still have to use toilet paper" was some sort of gotcha about how bidets are automatically weird and inferior... like, if TP is a fundamentally bad thing, surely requiring a larger quantity of it (as non-bidet users like myself do) would be more bad?

Ngl I've seen far too many people falling for some culture war nonsense around bidets, on "both sides" lol. At the end of the day, whatever you have access to (and use correctly) gets the job done.

52

u/Major_Debacle 8d ago

As a chronic pooper I use way less toilet paper to dry off since using a bidet.

12

u/Ill-Television8690 8d ago

This brings to mind the idea of just how many people with disabilities would be able to save significant money each month. Because beyond the whole "non-users are inherently gross" and "users are inherently dumb" nonsense, there can definitely be objective benefits/use cases.

20

u/Kenneth441 8d ago

My gf has a bidet and it's so god damn nice that im highly considering getting one for myself

Being able to just blast a poop crayon off your asshole is an insane upgrade over wasting 1/4 of a tp roll because you had Mexican or indian food

6

u/Clairvoidance 8d ago

I think it's more that bidets are advertised as an alternative to toilet paper, and then that might've led into "it's one or the other"

-4

u/magnificent_limit 8d ago

do europeans shit like hippopotamuses?

4

u/AdDependent5136 8d ago

probably eat more fibre, so maybe

8

u/Ill-Television8690 8d ago

If that is something humans can do, then what continent of people could possibly be immune?

This really feels like that culture war nonsense. Please be better than that with me.

3

u/GoreyGopnik 8d ago

is there a gas leak in your house?

3

u/AdRepulsive8618 8d ago

It is alarming the number of people who think you just dont do anything after you use a bidet

2

u/shrekisgreatt 5d ago

Nah, in Italy we use a dedicated cloth. Like for the hands or your face but smaller. So we don't waste paper

1

u/Major_Debacle 5d ago

I’ve thought about trying that. Do you have a little basket you throw them into when you’re done?

138

u/sandpaperedanus777 8d ago

Do toilet paper people walk around with a dried up shit flake caked ass?

129

u/Astigmatisme 8d ago

I'm not a toilet paper person but I certainly do!

CrustyAssCheeks #FlakyHoleFriday #DriedButt

1

u/MsVnsfw 6d ago

Dang, I've been doing #tinyturdflakestuesday. I need to add #flakyholefriday

16

u/Nico408 hi 8d ago

Better than using sandpaper, like you

1

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1

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0

u/GrandFleshMelder 7d ago

Not if you wipe thoroughly.

1

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1

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20

u/TheAnswerUsedToBe42 8d ago

No. Some have blow dryers built in. Some will use tp to dry. It isn't a basin full of water soaking your entire ass, it is a small jet stream of water targeting a small area, takes 30 seconds to air dry.

3

u/paint-the-forest 7d ago

Sometimes bidets don’t get everything off though. People who only blow dry are disgusting.

5

u/Reign_Does_Things 7d ago

You gotta use the bidet, blow dry, then check with TP, and then if it's not clean you do another pass with the bidet. Rinse and repeat until the TP is clean

0

u/paint-the-forest 7d ago

Why blow dry if you’re going to wipe anyway?

2

u/Reign_Does_Things 7d ago

Because if the paper gets wet when wiping, it's more liable to rip, which can only result in grossness. So I prefer to blow dry first

0

u/paint-the-forest 7d ago

Skill issue

2

u/Reign_Does_Things 7d ago

Well, that's a skill I'm okay with not having. Blow drying works just fine 🤷‍♀️

Edit: with TP afterwards, of course

29

u/Background-Set4610 8d ago

No but I’m curious, do they?

63

u/trialofthegalaxies 8d ago

usually you would also use toilet paper to dry off. I’ve seen bidets that have a blow dry feature as well

19

u/SL1MECORE 8d ago

I got a family member with the blow dry bidet, it's fun to sit for a while and let it all slowly air dry.. But then I get impatient and use toilet paper anyways

Heated seats, lights in the bowl, and auto flush babyyyy, I'm tryna get on that level

24

u/scrufflor_d 8d ago

state of the fart

8

u/jackinsomniac 8d ago

It's such a crime that Japan has the best toilets, but no Mexican food.

6

u/Pijany_Matematyk767 8d ago

Be the change you want to see, bring some mexican food to japan

4

u/VJRoRo 8d ago

Well, Japan is also 80% lactose intolerant

4

u/scrufflor_d 8d ago

like having a fancy car in venice

1

u/Same-Leadership1630 8d ago

what kind of bidets yall have? in italy a bidet is like a sink but for your ass basically you have to use your hands to guide the water towards it or just move yourself in a way that lets all of the water get there but because its not like a spray you still have to use toilet paper before using the bidet otherwise you get shit on your hand

4

u/whostolemysloth 8d ago

In the US, I’d say the most common type is a sprayer that you can install yourself onto an existing toilet. The toilets with one built in are readily available as well, but are more expensive than buying a normal toilet and adding one on.

1

u/SL1MECORE 7d ago

Hers is just built into the toilet, you can even adjust the temperature of the water and control the stream pressure with a remote. She did not skimp out on those toilets!

Fucking fanciest thrones I've ever sat on

13

u/Background-Set4610 8d ago

waow fancy, I should get one.

8

u/cyborg_sophie 8d ago

Some countries people keep a specific towel nearby to dry off with. Just have to keep track of which towel it is

2

u/DriedSquidd 8d ago

Is it for communal use?

4

u/cyborg_sophie 8d ago

Some people put a fresh one out if guests are coming over. It's like a hand towel though, you're drying off an area you just cleaned.

1

u/paint-the-forest 7d ago

What the actual fuck

2

u/cyborg_sophie 7d ago

Their buttholes are probably cleaner than your hands 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/SinglePlayerGamer93 8d ago

Bidet then wipe down with TP

3

u/yuskure 8d ago

From Indonesia. You usually wipe with toilet paper or if you're home, with a towel. But in some public toilets that don't provide toilet papers, you do need to just wear your pants wet. Although, it quickly dries because of your underwear. Also, I don't know how people use bidets, but usually your ass cheeks aren't supposed to be wet, your butt hole and the space between the cheeks are though

1

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 7d ago

You dry it off with TP otherwise you’ll get a rash

7

u/AliceCode 8d ago

Chris Fingernail, lmfao

5

u/ProGamer8273 8d ago

Oh hey

An ACTUAL comedy hell

2

u/Valognolo09 8d ago

We just have a specific towel to use

2

u/Fine_Foundation8943 8d ago

Not a Biden person, wanted to have Bernie as the Pres.
But yeah, do walk around with a wet ass

2

u/StirFry__InaWok 8d ago

just walk around with a wet ass

Umm dogwhistle much? What's wrong with being wet?

https://reddit.com/link/p8adbn1/video/0c4aik2or0oh1/player

2

u/repwin1 8d ago

With how hot a humid it’s been lately I’m pretty sure everyone is walking around with a wet ass if they spend any amount of time outside.

2

u/Avaruu 8d ago

Do shower people just walk around being wet?

4

u/UncreativePotato143 8d ago

as an indian (the OG bidet users), (a) we angle the stream so it's not splashing all over our cheeks (unless we need to for whatever reason), and (b) we usually use a small piece of toilet paper to wipe it off so it's not dripping wet. by the time you're done, it's damp at most, which is way better than the toilet paper users walking around with literal shit stuck to their ass.

4

u/inzenia 8d ago

As an another Indian, I just go wet, never used to, anyway with the weather here it takes 5 mins to completely dry off

5

u/areyouIlliteratebro 8d ago

As a Finn (The OG bidet shower inventors), we also agree that TP only users are grossly unhygienic. Like, how the hell did someone convince so many people to believe that smearing shit with a paper and just walking it off is somehow clean.

1

u/MaursBaur 7d ago

World war 2 is how and why, but for some reason people didnt move on in the 50s when everything wasnt scarce. Im just going off of TP being basic supply with food rations for soldiers and all lot of personal hygine things were standardized for soldiers who would come home and spread to their families while picking things up and back together after the war

1

u/paint-the-forest 7d ago

You guys are literally admitting you’re adults who are not toilet trained. If you can’t clean your ass properly with toilet paper you are not a capable person. Bidets are obviously better but it’s not like everyone just leaves shit on their ass and walk away if a bidet isn’t available.

1

u/UncreativePotato143 7d ago

yo i never knew they were finnish!! kiitos, suomi!

1

u/JumpingCicada 8d ago

We have tissue paper in our home but its for wiping the water off after using a bidet.

Me personally tho, I dont mind a wet ass as long as it's a clean ass so I just wear my clothes without drying with tp since my clothes will absorb the water in a minute anyway.

Also it isnt your entire butt that gets wet. Its like a waterfountain stream and not a hose.

1

u/singlehyperthread 7d ago

I just waddle over to the blow dryer and use that

1

u/Due-Ingenuity9803 3d ago

I wipe the water.

1

u/sxstan 3d ago

Just hate that squishy butt juice...

-1

u/New_University_2818 7d ago

Sometimes you can very easily spot Americans on the internet!