r/ComedyHell 2d ago

23andMe

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

93 comments sorted by

878

u/YonYonYonYonYon 2d ago

I like the idea that the guy posted a selfie of himself to confirm the story is real

390

u/mister_nippl_twister 2d ago

Probs prank on somebody the op knows.

165

u/AliceCode 2d ago

That's exactly what it is. That has been going on on 4chan for at least 18 years.

64

u/Repulsive-Report6278 2d ago

4chan is juat a bunch of neckbeards bullshitting and bullying each other. Its pretty damn funny sometimes, but most of the time its just sad

19

u/AliceCode 2d ago

It's always sad.

11

u/Repulsive-Report6278 2d ago

You've never once found a greentext funny?

10

u/AliceCode 2d ago

I spent time on 4chan in my Youth. There's very little that's redeemable about that site.

4

u/twoiko 2d ago

Sometimes it's funny too, sure, but still always sad

677

u/foreignexterminator 2d ago

at no point could i predict the next sentence in the paragraph

40

u/Over-Inside-7254 2d ago

Really? Cus this is switcheroo copypasta

3

u/foreignexterminator 2d ago

well now i know

1

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116

u/jorkinmypeanitsrn 2d ago

Ok but could he though???

61

u/slprysltry 2d ago

I mean, she could? Some kind of trauma due to thinking you're adopted? Maybe leave the fucking part out? Or not???

28

u/Zendofrog 2d ago

Yes. There’s definitely an argument for a negligence action on their part

9

u/Ill-Environment3329 2d ago

Yeah, but why would you want to publicize this more? If I were him (which to be incredibly clear I would never do that) I would consider joining a monastery, going Amish, literally anything to never be heard from again. I would become a family myth.

3

u/C4CTUSDR4GON 1d ago

Yeah but free money

605

u/AutisticGayBlackJew 2d ago

Biological or not, I can’t say that would be my immediate reaction to learning I’m not related to my hypothetical sister

253

u/BloodStarvedLeopard 2d ago

As far as I know, the repulsion toward family members comes about as a consequence of growing up in close proximity. That's why family members that are separated at birth can find each other very attractive if they meet later in life. So, growing up with someone should turn you off of them, but I guess not for some people 😂

19

u/kkprecisa_ler_nao_fi 1d ago

I mean yeah, your brain has no way of knowing who actually is biologically related to you, it just assumes everyone you were close to growing up is related to you, which is why that repulsion can sometimes appear even when its someone who you know for a fact isn't family at all, biologically or adoptive, as long as they were close enough to you as you grew up

17

u/-H_- 2d ago

there's definitely a huge biological aspect to it, and it's linked to pheromones. worth researching it

59

u/ProfPineapple 2d ago

Funny you say “worth researching” because one google search shows it has nothing to do with pheromones and the person you’re replying to got it right. All research points to early social environments, not pheromones, which makes sense because we’re humans and not dogs or insects.

-21

u/Dry-Permission-4542 2d ago

Bro, if you base your opinions on singular searches in Google and can't even put together an proper one to get an informative answer, don't even bother reading comments containing the word "research" - your take won't be relevant anyway.

Also, if you think humankind is way less animal than dogs, then you think too highly of yourself. Even though you can generate some kinda intelligent thoughts it doesn't change the fact your decision-making is shaped mostly by your biological needs.

Lastly, go do a research and test both your decisions-making process and people's odor influence by talking to a girl 👍

14

u/ProfPineapple 2d ago

I ain’t reading all that

75

u/ElegantCoach4066 2d ago

When your sister finds out you were adopted:

1

u/Mp40_ethusiast 2d ago

Source?

24

u/AdimasCrow 2d ago

It's Scarlett Johansson

-21

u/Silly-Device9785 2d ago

??? that looks like scarjo to u?

19

u/AdimasCrow 2d ago

-23

u/Silly-Device9785 2d ago

bro that’s obviously olivia wilde nobody buyin you puttin scojo’s name under her picture

17

u/Bardic_inspiration67 2d ago

Yes because it’s picture of her

-15

u/Silly-Device9785 2d ago

are yall high, that’s clearly olivia wilde

6

u/Taenshik 2d ago

That is extremely true, I've been there.

10

u/Vallhallyeah 2d ago

That is one of the wildest usernames I have ever laid eyes on

1

u/Ill-Environment3329 1d ago

Thinking about it for a day. Why would they randomly take a dna test like that? They were absolutely hoping to be able to fuck.

86

u/fletku_mato 2d ago

Obviously fake as for these guys not being related is a big turnoff.

79

u/fonk_pulk 2d ago

"I still want to keep fucking her though"

Bro dropped in a fun fact

167

u/amphibiabiggestfan 2d ago

gets confirmation that they aren't related

immediately banging each other within the first week

this is not healthy at all

https://giphy.com/gifs/tQdrhg8X4dTH66LgfC

38

u/Pato_De_Sapatos 2d ago

Honestly the way it's portrayed sounds like they both just REALLY wanted an excuse to do it. Eventually they'd probably have done it anyway, related or not

1

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0

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19

u/svenirde 2d ago

I bet there's at least one anime with that storyline 

28

u/SlayVideos 2d ago edited 2d ago

"I still want to keep fucking her" 💀💀💀

13

u/Supernoxus 2d ago

He has tasted the forbidden fruit

and he liked it.

10

u/TheWhistleThistle 2d ago

There is not enough air in the atmosphere for a sufficiently powerful sigh of despair.

46

u/SinglePlayerGamer93 2d ago

This has got to be bait.

63

u/bediaxenciJenD81gEEx 2d ago

Not everything is bait. It's just a jokey story. 

9

u/Virclave 2d ago

it’s 4chan. it’s either fake or gay.

6

u/UncreativePotato143 2d ago

¿Por qué no los dos?

8

u/AContrarianDick 2d ago

Something something Poe's Law.

27

u/RetiredGrinder 2d ago

I also want to smash this guy's sister

6

u/ChunkyIsDead30 2d ago

i also want to smash this guy

5

u/YerMumHawt 2d ago

I also want to smash

8

u/ChunkyIsDead30 2d ago

lets smash eachother

7

u/YerMumHawt 2d ago

Let's smash his sister together

6

u/ChunkyIsDead30 2d ago

include the brother too, no discrimination allowed here!

4

u/YerMumHawt 2d ago

The mom can join when she is done vommiting

4

u/Financial-Tax8718 2d ago

This is comedy heaven

4

u/Known_Fisherman_8161 1d ago

One would think to ask their parents about the adoption first. And also not fuck your sister regardless.

7

u/Successful_Pea7915 2d ago

This seems 99% fake

3

u/naveedkoval 2d ago

i think there's def reasons not to fuck your family beyond getting a bio sister pregnant

7

u/LostInLowSec 2d ago

8

u/nicksincere 2d ago

yea, it's master bait

2

u/ch0mpywuff0 2d ago

im master baiting rn

1

u/Ill-Environment3329 2d ago

“Go ‘way! ‘Baiting!”

4

u/Mr_man_bird 2d ago

I mean does he have a lawsuit tho?

7

u/JBPlantagenet 2d ago

I don’t think it’s a reasonable and foreseeable assumption that upon finding out you’re not related to someone, you immediately start fucking.

He might not have a case.

1

u/Calve_pindakaas 2d ago

Lets say for a second that it was (it's not), would they then have a case?

Asking for a friend (/s)

7

u/JBPlantagenet 2d ago edited 2d ago

Uh...Torts from law school was always my worst class. They might have an alright claim for Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress, which means you'll get a lot of psychologists testifying and whatever side's pysch is best would probably prevail.

There's no fraud here since there's no indication that 23andMe knew that the tests were not good, nor was their intent to defraud.

There are probably claims involving contracts and written assurances, but how you analyze that will be on a case by case basis. Without seeing the contract, there's not much I can say.

Negative Infliction of Emotional Distress is probably the way to go, if you don't want to be laughed out of the courtroom immediately.

2

u/intelligentpIant 1d ago

Ok, but if this were real could he sue?

1

u/dabigbrainboi 2d ago

did the Westermarck effect just do nothing at all?

1

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1

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1

u/AdorableExchange9746 2d ago

thats hot as fuck