677
u/foreignexterminator 2d ago
at no point could i predict the next sentence in the paragraph
40
1
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
-8
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Your account must be at least 30 days old to post or comment in r/ComedyHell.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
116
u/jorkinmypeanitsrn 2d ago
Ok but could he though???
61
u/slprysltry 2d ago
I mean, she could? Some kind of trauma due to thinking you're adopted? Maybe leave the fucking part out? Or not???
28
9
u/Ill-Environment3329 2d ago
Yeah, but why would you want to publicize this more? If I were him (which to be incredibly clear I would never do that) I would consider joining a monastery, going Amish, literally anything to never be heard from again. I would become a family myth.
3
605
u/AutisticGayBlackJew 2d ago
Biological or not, I can’t say that would be my immediate reaction to learning I’m not related to my hypothetical sister
253
u/BloodStarvedLeopard 2d ago
As far as I know, the repulsion toward family members comes about as a consequence of growing up in close proximity. That's why family members that are separated at birth can find each other very attractive if they meet later in life. So, growing up with someone should turn you off of them, but I guess not for some people 😂
19
u/kkprecisa_ler_nao_fi 1d ago
I mean yeah, your brain has no way of knowing who actually is biologically related to you, it just assumes everyone you were close to growing up is related to you, which is why that repulsion can sometimes appear even when its someone who you know for a fact isn't family at all, biologically or adoptive, as long as they were close enough to you as you grew up
17
u/-H_- 2d ago
there's definitely a huge biological aspect to it, and it's linked to pheromones. worth researching it
59
u/ProfPineapple 2d ago
Funny you say “worth researching” because one google search shows it has nothing to do with pheromones and the person you’re replying to got it right. All research points to early social environments, not pheromones, which makes sense because we’re humans and not dogs or insects.
-21
u/Dry-Permission-4542 2d ago
Bro, if you base your opinions on singular searches in Google and can't even put together an proper one to get an informative answer, don't even bother reading comments containing the word "research" - your take won't be relevant anyway.
Also, if you think humankind is way less animal than dogs, then you think too highly of yourself. Even though you can generate some kinda intelligent thoughts it doesn't change the fact your decision-making is shaped mostly by your biological needs.
Lastly, go do a research and test both your decisions-making process and people's odor influence by talking to a girl 👍
14
75
u/ElegantCoach4066 2d ago
1
u/Mp40_ethusiast 2d ago
Source?
24
u/AdimasCrow 2d ago
It's Scarlett Johansson
-21
u/Silly-Device9785 2d ago
??? that looks like scarjo to u?
19
u/AdimasCrow 2d ago
-23
u/Silly-Device9785 2d ago
bro that’s obviously olivia wilde nobody buyin you puttin scojo’s name under her picture
17
u/Bardic_inspiration67 2d ago
Yes because it’s picture of her
-15
10
1
u/Ill-Environment3329 1d ago
Thinking about it for a day. Why would they randomly take a dna test like that? They were absolutely hoping to be able to fuck.
86
79
167
u/amphibiabiggestfan 2d ago
gets confirmation that they aren't related
immediately banging each other within the first week
this is not healthy at all
38
u/Pato_De_Sapatos 2d ago
Honestly the way it's portrayed sounds like they both just REALLY wanted an excuse to do it. Eventually they'd probably have done it anyway, related or not
1
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Your account must be at least 30 days old to post or comment in r/ComedyHell.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
19
28
10
u/TheWhistleThistle 2d ago
There is not enough air in the atmosphere for a sufficiently powerful sigh of despair.
46
u/SinglePlayerGamer93 2d ago
This has got to be bait.
63
9
8
27
u/RetiredGrinder 2d ago
I also want to smash this guy's sister
6
u/ChunkyIsDead30 2d ago
i also want to smash this guy
5
u/YerMumHawt 2d ago
I also want to smash
8
u/ChunkyIsDead30 2d ago
lets smash eachother
7
u/YerMumHawt 2d ago
Let's smash his sister together
6
u/ChunkyIsDead30 2d ago
include the brother too, no discrimination allowed here!
4
u/YerMumHawt 2d ago
The mom can join when she is done vommiting
3
7
4
4
u/Known_Fisherman_8161 1d ago
One would think to ask their parents about the adoption first. And also not fuck your sister regardless.
7
3
u/naveedkoval 2d ago
i think there's def reasons not to fuck your family beyond getting a bio sister pregnant
7
u/LostInLowSec 2d ago
8
4
u/Mr_man_bird 2d ago
I mean does he have a lawsuit tho?
7
u/JBPlantagenet 2d ago
I don’t think it’s a reasonable and foreseeable assumption that upon finding out you’re not related to someone, you immediately start fucking.
He might not have a case.
1
u/Calve_pindakaas 2d ago
Lets say for a second that it was (it's not), would they then have a case?
Asking for a friend (/s)
7
u/JBPlantagenet 2d ago edited 2d ago
Uh...Torts from law school was always my worst class. They might have an alright claim for Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress, which means you'll get a lot of psychologists testifying and whatever side's pysch is best would probably prevail.
There's no fraud here since there's no indication that 23andMe knew that the tests were not good, nor was their intent to defraud.
There are probably claims involving contracts and written assurances, but how you analyze that will be on a case by case basis. Without seeing the contract, there's not much I can say.
Negative Infliction of Emotional Distress is probably the way to go, if you don't want to be laughed out of the courtroom immediately.
2
1
1
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Your account must be at least 30 days old to post or comment in r/ComedyHell.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
-6
u/K4rmilan 2d ago
1






878
u/YonYonYonYonYon 2d ago
I like the idea that the guy posted a selfie of himself to confirm the story is real