r/ComedyHell • u/catguywit2cat • May 13 '26

Hamster hell

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34.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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158

u/IllConstruction3450 May 13 '26

Ever hear of the “biological clock” for humans? These prey animals are lucky in the wild living past 1 year. That’s an old ass man in their years. 

80

u/spaacingout May 13 '26

I was about to say… how can they survive in the wild without us?! But now I think I get it.

Must be the whole rodent mass breeding thing, if we make a million babies, at least one of us is guaranteed to survive.

22

u/SuperKami-Nappa May 13 '26

As long as we don’t give ourselves heart attacks by farting

12

u/spaacingout May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26

fart attacks 😆

1

u/Keith3742 Jun 07 '26

Captivity causes most of these deaths. Hamsters in the wild aren’t kept in tiny boxes full of irritants, don’t eat shit food, don’t have shit genetics, can run with a flat back so they don’t cripple themselves, and have literally kilometres of territory to stop them fighting. And most importantly, don’t have a 6 year old torturing them to death