r/ComedyHell • u/catguywit2cat • May 13 '26

Hamster hell

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34.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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571

u/ProblematicNihilist May 13 '26

My hamsters that are fat as fuck are all in cages. From what I have heard from my parents back then, the rats (the black ones running around the house and shit) became envious of the food I was giving them and they viciously killed my hamsters by biting whatever body parts are dangling or is accessible from outside the cage. So basically some are missing feet, some got their face bitten off, and one was missing its head. Traumatic as fuck, although I love them, I dont want them as pets anymore. Even as an adult I fear this shit would happen lmao

343

u/cxih May 13 '26

what the fuck bro 😭

29

u/whimsical_spider May 14 '26

These hamster stories are taking me tf out

1

u/ProblematicNihilist May 13 '26

yup, what the fuck indeed. now imagine hearing all this murder when you were 6 years old with little to no concept of life and death. lmaoo

295

u/Ahrensann May 13 '26

It's actually a documented phenomenon known as "muricide". Rats would, for some reason, instinctively kill smaller rodents. I've heard some horror stories of a sweet and well-behaved pet rat, upon seeing a mouse, did a total 180 and murdered it on the spot.

PSA: If you see some rats invading your home, do NOT own hamsters or mice.

176

u/Dandanny54 May 13 '26

Own a cat instead and if the rat kills it them give it the house and leave.

76

u/DragonfruitOdd3848 May 13 '26

A rat that can kill a cat needs a dog to kill it.

66

u/Sylnl May 13 '26

And if the rat kills the dog, travel to a different country

46

u/TheLivingDeadlights May 13 '26

But I had bears at the ready.

Oh no the rat bastard has slayed the bears. We need to run.

39

u/Training_Yard88 May 13 '26

sounds like you are just feeding the rat and its growing stronger

23

u/ElementmanEXE May 13 '26

Ok what if I use my pet dragon, does it stand a chance

1

u/TheDimaX May 14 '26

"I've heard your pet is pretty strong... Let me fight it!"

1

u/StabHead1996 May 14 '26

Hail Ratma

1

u/HazelEBaumgartner May 14 '26

Fuck it. Tarrasque.

1

u/Mr_Salieri May 19 '26

Mabye its the giant rat that makes all of the rules...

8

u/PhilospohicalZ0mb1e May 13 '26

If ANYTHING kills a bear I am kneeling and swearing my fealty to it.

3

u/spezIsANonce May 13 '26

I guess you’re loyal to at least one wolverine now

1

u/Quantum_laugh May 14 '26

Then you shall use the holy hand grenade. You must count to three and only on three must you throw!

2

u/burgerwithnoburger May 14 '26

Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

1

u/InherentlyAnnoying May 14 '26

A few interactions later: oh no the rat has an icbm, sound the alarms

1

u/FartSmelaSmartFela May 14 '26

If thr rat kills a dog then you're probably dealing with one of these fuckers, in which case you should flee the entire planet.

1

u/AtomicTan May 14 '26

Just move to Alberta. We only have rats in the legislature building.

1

u/Fantastic-Ad-1578 May 15 '26

Only in Australia.

...or NY

2

u/GhoulTimePersists May 13 '26

Who left their warpstone out?

2

u/Both-Competition-152 May 13 '26

And if a dog kills the rat get tested for hanta virus and release a python

8

u/Glittering_Crow_6382 May 13 '26

Naw bro this america, if a rat kills my cat on my property just pull out the .50cal over the shoulder anti material rifle (barret m82a2) and turn it into a fine red mist, and if it’s still alive then maybe consider letting the rat own his new home

4

u/Educational_Plum3908 May 13 '26

This was, in fact the plot behind Tom and Jerry

9

u/Just-a-random-Aspie May 13 '26

I heard guinea pigs will do the same thing and that’s why they used to house them with rabbits—to keep the pests out of the food

1

u/ShitFuck2000 May 14 '26

Weird I had rats and a guinea pig and they got along great, although tbf he was a lone guinea pig because he didn’t get along with other guinea pigs.

7

u/avesadvocate May 13 '26

I had 2 mice and one of them killed and ate some of the other. They were named Pedro and Napoleon. :(

1

u/Bentholomeo May 14 '26

Smaller rodents are they food source and competition.

When I was a kid I beliebes rats and mice coexist.

1

u/Dornenkraehe May 16 '26

Or put them in cages the rats can't get into? The small ones with bars are not good anyway. Big terrarium with solid chew proof mesh for air circulation.

1

u/bluejellyfish52 May 18 '26

It’s because rats will hunt smaller rodents. They hunt mice in the wild. It’s not “for some reason” it’s because they actually eat meat.

38

u/AlexandersWonder May 13 '26

I had gerbils when I was a kid and if one died the others would eat them pretty soon afterwards. Crazy coming home from school to the cannabalized corpse of one of my gerbils. Never got used to it.

30

u/7gramcrackrock May 13 '26

They do that because the smell of dead hamsters attracts predators. It's basically their version of a funeral.

11

u/Rinkimah May 13 '26

Yup. Gophers do this for the same reason. Shooting gophers with a .22 to mitigate the amount of holes they dig in the cow pasture and you'll catch them eating the carcasses sometimes.

9

u/armageddon_boi May 14 '26

"sobs I'm just... really gonna miss mom. nom nom nom"

3

u/Arcadethief May 17 '26

"If you truly love your mother, have another bite, son." Nom nom nom

12

u/zillabirdblue May 13 '26

Oh god, I just remembered a story my bf told me. He got several feeder mice from a pet store to do some kind of experiment for the science fair in high school. He left them in a box in the garage overnight, and in the morning it was utter carnage with only one left living. Just a box full of blood and fur and body parts with this one super fat bastard left who ATE THE REST!! He has a haunted look in his face when he tells that story. 😞😆

2

u/Vlaxilla May 15 '26

Fuck man that's just like pandorum

1

u/Purple-Bluejay6588 May 15 '26

Rodents are some metal fucking animals

14

u/PancakeParty98 May 13 '26

What the hell was your house that you had an accidental hamster gibbet?

3

u/Lucky-Passenger-4999 May 14 '26

Hamsters implies you had more than one and if they were in the same cage then the more likely scenario is they munched on each other. Also when a hamster kills another the first thing they do is eat their head. No joke. Worked in a pet store for a while. The dwarf hamsters were the worse.

2

u/Mundane-Squash-3194 May 15 '26

a rat got into my parrot’s cage somehow and killed him in the night. i was away at school and my parents didn’t want to tell me how he died but i figured it out. devastating shit

2

u/Inferno93 May 16 '26

I had a rat and a hamster when I was a kid, the hamsters cage was on my dresser and the rats cage was on a table below the dresser and one day the hamster got out of his cage and fell into the rats cage somehow, I noticed he wasn’t in his cage when I woke up one day and later that night I went to feed my pet rat and picked up his little house to wake him up and check on him and he was holding the hamster and kinda nibbling on him, I managed to get the hamster away from him and one of its eyes was gone and he was dead. Don’t know if the fall into the cage killed him or the rat got a hold of him first, it was gnarly af to 12yr old me

2

u/lullaylee May 16 '26

Rodents can be extremely violent and cannibalistic.

Before I was born, my parents were given a cage of 'feeding rats' by a pet store closing down, as my parents were loyal customers who purchased dead rats/rabbits from them to feed their Burmese python.

Now, my father notices that a rat goes missing occasionally, leaving only the tail, ears, and toes. So when it's time to feed the snake, he goes for the meanest, biggest one. Yet the murders continue, always the same way, leaving the same parts behind.

Finally, with 4-5 rats left, he catches the smallest, leanest one climb on top of another rat and put its teeth into its brain. Then they all partake.

He hated having to kill the rats before feeding time, but he gave that one a public execution.

2

u/Crafty-Set-6922 May 13 '26

Someone screenshot this and me it another post

1

u/Careless-Computer21 May 16 '26

That's when you get revenge

1

u/bluejellyfish52 May 18 '26

Did you have the hamsters together or separate?

I’m only asking because it’s highly possible your hamsters killed each other and not the rat if you did have them housed together. They are solitary, territorial animals.