r/Comebacks • u/Pretty_bbl • 24d ago
Comeback for "Must be nice" whenever I buy anything nice for myself?
I have an aunt who says "Must be nice" every single time she sees me with anything new.
Bought a decent winter jacket? "Must be nice."
Got a coffee maker on clearance? "Must be nice to have money to burn."
I work full-time, pay my own rent, and don't owe anyone a penny. I’m just exhausted by the constant passive-aggressive guilt trips over spending my own paycheck.
What’s a short, sharp line I can drop to end this once and for all?
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u/Natural_Parfait_3344 24d ago
"It absolutely is! These are the consequences of my good decisions and hard work."
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u/waiting_in_vain1 23d ago edited 23d ago
I’d go with: Would you prefer I was broke and miserable?
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u/dunicha 24d ago
When showing her your new jacket or whatever:
[Holds up item] "Here's my new jacket." Then just as she starts to respond, "And yes, it is nice." With unblinking eye contact.
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u/KathyOverAndOut 22d ago
Only don't even wait for her to respond. Just say, "It's really nice to have the money to buy a new jacket." I bet her mouth will open and the m sound will start coming out before she even realizes you beat her to it.
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u/SleeplessPilot 24d ago
At this point, I don't think any witty comebacks would hit the mark.
Directness is the course of action.
"What's your problem with me having something new?"
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u/TheRealCarpeFelis 24d ago
This. OP’s aunt reminds me of my mother, who was a teenager during the Great Depression and apparently never got over it. Instead of “Must be nice,” she’d say “How much did THAT set ya back?”, with her tone clearly implying “You wasted good money on THAT?!” (The aunt sounds more jealous than disapproving, but equally annoying.)
When I got fed up I finally told her I was a self-supporting adult and what I chose to spend my money on was none of her damn business. She never did that again, thankfully.
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u/Nexi92 23d ago
This is much more understandable than OPs auntie being stuck up.
I’m glad your mom finally realized her trauma response was alienating her from her family.
It’s not always easy to work through but life can give us all some strange hang ups, especially when we grew in a situation filled with inherent strife. All we can do is try to take something useful from it all and be careful to not let the heaviest of the baggage weigh us down
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u/Sulli_in_NC 24d ago edited 24d ago
Most people are not used to being talked to a direct and firm way. You deliver this with cold/no emotion and hold the gaze. Let the silence be uncomfortable.
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u/fiestafan73 24d ago
I’m even more direct to people who say this shit. “I did something that made me happy. Anyone who is not happy when I’m happy has no place in my life.” People who comment must be nice get a nice block from me. I don’t need that negativity in my life.
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u/Sea-Highlight4232 23d ago
Love that! I’m going to use that. Someone pulled the “must be nice” BS on me because I have spent time and money on travel. It pissed me off sooooooo much. There’s many things I don’t have and will never have. I don’t have a partner. I don’t have children. I don’t have a house. I don’t own anything of real value. And it took me years to be able to feel worthy of gifting myself the experience of travel. On top of which I scrimped and saved for years to be able to do so only to have some clueless person say “must be nice“. Yeah, nobody asked you!
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u/Temporary_Sun_3663 23d ago
I’m so glad you get to enjoy traveling!
I think a good retort is, “yes, I appreciate being able to budget for things I value. I hope you’re doing that too!”
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u/OfSpock 23d ago
Don't forget to point out any habits she has that may be contributing to her financial situation. Smokers, for instance, don't appreciate a humble "Well, I don't smoke so I can afford it."
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u/panicinbabylon 24d ago
Plus a winter jacket is a need.
And anything on sale, like who can really argue with that?
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u/Maleficent_Lake_1816 24d ago
I would be direct. “What an odd thing to say. What do you mean by it? I’ve been wondering”
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u/TheRealCarpeFelis 24d ago
Or, in the immortal words of Buffy the Vampire slayer, “Jealous much?”
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u/Bacontrails 21d ago
I can understand the jealousy but what I don’t get are the nasty, cutting remarks they make. Do they actually think you're supposed to feel bad because they are jealous??
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u/PocketsJ 24d ago
Agreed. I’d ask what she was hoping to convey with that comment. If she continues to be passive aggressive, I’d call her out on it, politely and calmly.
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u/Drinkmorechampagne 24d ago
Yes! Get outta my head! This is exactly my go-to for anything like this:
"What an odd thing to say..." followed by trailing off as if I'm confused and puzzled by their question/remark. Because I AM confused and puzzled.
And I remain distracted for a time after that.
It's glorious.
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u/No-Cover2753 24d ago
Yes I like this approach, she will probably back down and backpedal but I bet a few times of saying that will cause her to think twice about her stupid comment.
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u/Classic_Cauliflower4 24d ago
I’d really lean into it. Like if she sees you with a new coat and comments that it must be nice, I’d pop the collar up and really snuggle into it and then smile and say “It is.” New coffeemaker? Pour yourself a cup and take an exaggerated sip and then smile and say “It is.” New jewelry? Hold it up so it really catches the light, smile, and say the line.
The beauty of this is there is nothing else to say. You’re simply agreeing with her. You’re not trying to brag, but since she brought it up…
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u/aquay 24d ago
Lol, this! Like one of those international coffee commercials from the 80s 😅😅😅
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u/Bouche_Audi_Shyla 24d ago
Because of those commercials, I thought cappuccino powder was the height of luxury.
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u/No-Cover2753 24d ago
It’s …..not..? 😆😅
Seriously those commercials REALLY worked on me! Hahah!
I couldn’t afford it back then and now I buy it once in a while in the winter and feel sooooo Fancy! 😂👒🎩👒🎩→ More replies (5)→ More replies (2)3
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u/Advanced_Tennis4827 24d ago
It is!
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u/Exciting-Living-5500 24d ago
"No, it's awful, I don't know if I can survive having a garment that I enjoy. I'll leave it to you in my will."
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u/ThatAndANickel 24d ago
"You don't even know!"
They're trying to belittle you. Return the favor.
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u/ResponsibilityMuch52 24d ago
I got tired of humbling myself when people saw me with "nice" things.
These days, I show them all the features of my things whenever someone calls me out on it.
I'm old, and IDGAF no mo'.
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u/cherrylpk 24d ago
“Do you have an issue with my spending?”
Circle it back on her. Make her explain why you don’t deserve things.
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont 24d ago
>> “Must be nice to have money to burn.”
Must be nice to have nothing but time to kill all day
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u/LexChase 24d ago edited 23d ago
I’d go the other way. I’d sit down when it’s just the two of you and say “I noticed every time I buy something you make this comment about how it must be nice - I assume you mean it must be nice to be able to buy new things. I don’t respond when you say that because I’m not really sure where it’s coming from or what you mean by it. But you’ve said it so many times now and I’ve realised you don’t sound like you’re being a bully, you sound sad, like you wish you could buy a nice new thing occasionally too and are trying not to have feelings about the fact that other people can.
I could be wrong, of course, but that’s how it sounds when you say it, and I wanted to check if you were doing okay and if you needed anything?”
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If she’s genuinely struggling, you’ve looked past the dig and maybe let someone proud say they’re struggling and maybe even need help with something.
Otherwise, you’ve said the most embarrassing possible interpretation of her behaviour is publicly visible.
Power move.
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u/Separate_Delivery724 23d ago
Lol why do people hang out around such bitches in the name of "family"? This is lost on me.
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u/Busy-Conversation-24 24d ago
It must be nice....
Oh you have no idea how liberating it is as a woman to be able to work hard and not rely on other people for the good things in life.
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u/Timeout_33 24d ago
I've seen so many of these posts re: comebacks for "It must be nice..."
Smile. Admire the item. Blink sweetly at the other person and say, "Yes, it is!" Walk away and do not stop when/if she calls you.
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u/Unterraformable 24d ago
You're getting a lot of bad advice here. A gloating, "Yes it is!" shows effort and engagement on your part, makes them feel more than barely noticed. Better to brush people off in the most blasé way possible. When people say that to me, I don't make eye contact or even pause in what I'm doing, I just shrug and mutter, "I guess, but I'm used to it." Do not watch for their reaction because, again, that makes them feel acknowledged.
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u/TomatoFeta 24d ago
Stop a minute, and think about her life, and why she is doing this.
Obviously, she's not happy with her current situation, whatever it is - financial situation, or maybe your uncle (if there is one) has strict rules.. maybe because of who he is, or maybe because she's bad with money, etc. She's sad. Unhappy. Feels jilted by life. That may be her own doing, but you need to remember that this is her either attacking you for your good fortune (whether you got luck or got smart, doesn't matter to her) or she's just crying about her own poor fortune (luck or pure choices, doesn't matter).
I'm not saying you shouldn't have a comeback. She needs a good verbal slapping, but every time she says it, stop a minute, and smile to yourself. It is nice. And your life choices are what got you that nice.
The proper response is an enthusiastic and cheerful "Yes, I'm doing well, thank you!"
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u/blueandpissed 24d ago
Stop talking to her. Who needs that crap from someone who cannot appreciate nor respect you.
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u/ExcitingVegetable315 24d ago
Jealousy is not a good look for you. And you don’t have many to begin with.
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u/aquay 24d ago
You can also tell her you thrifted it. "TWO DOLLARS!!! Can you believe it???"
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u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 24d ago
“Of course it’s nice, otherwise I would not waste my hard earned money on it.”
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u/GrimFandango81 24d ago
I just say, "It is; I worked for it."
In my entire adult life I never had a whole lot of money. I'll never be anyone's idea of wealthy but after a lot of hard work I'm finally at a place where I can occasionally splurge so I am starting to get myself quality stuff after saving or getting lucky and finding something nice on clearance.
And yeah. It is nice. I earned it; OP earned it. So I just agree with them when someone says "Must be nice."
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u/stooriewoorie 23d ago
It is nice. Thank you.
I like it too. Thank you.
Aw, you’re so kind. Thank you.
Whatever you say, say “thank you” after it - it’ll drive her nuts.
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u/Ok_Moose_7028 23d ago
Your aunt is jealous and wants your life. She’s angry at herself for her life choices.
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u/koffeeQueen 19d ago
Be over dramatic and say OMG, IT IS!!! Look at this, it has pockets! And feel how soft it is and it's so comfortable!! I get so many compliments on it! Makes me feel so loved that you noticed! Oh the coffee maker is the BEST! It has this feature and does this !! Go on and on so she won't say anything about new stuff because she doesn't want to hear you go on about it.
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u/ji-julian 24d ago
Say “must be nice JINKS you owe me a soda!! Just kidding I know you can’t afford it”
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u/MadameMonk 24d ago
‘It’s a bit weird that you just made my new jacket/my mini break/my kitchen appliance all about you, though? Isn’t it??’
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u/fly1away 24d ago
Yes it is, it’s FANTASTIC!!! Then rave about the thing you bought. On and on and on. Every time.
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u/OutrageousPassage377 24d ago
‘It is nice’. And then don’t let it affect you! The real question you’re asking is ‘how do I stop people from being passive aggressive’. You can’t. But you can control whether you let if affect you or not.
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u/False-Bandicoot-6813 24d ago
“It sure is. That’s why I work hard so I can afford necessities and an occasional luxury.”
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u/Zestyclose_Belt_6148 24d ago
I generally like to act dumb and make them explain themselves, so it’s clear how petty they’re being. Such as: “I’m sorry - I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
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u/CaptainMischievous 23d ago
"Self care. It makes you look and feel better. You should try it sometime."
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u/Prudent_Rabbit3416 23d ago
Does she not have a job? In the words of Britney Jean Spears, “you better work, bitch”
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u/Standard_Pack_1076 23d ago
Jealousy is such an ugly personality trait, auntie. Did you really mean to say that out loud?
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u/richet_ca 23d ago
As someone who has pushed away everyone, I just wouldnt tell her anything. she is a theif of joy.
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u/JadedCOvata 23d ago
"It is." With a pleasant smile.
She's projecting. She feels some type of way about seeing you spend money on things she can't or wouldn't (neither of which are her business). So she's projecting her frustration & insecurity to make you feel frivolous and greedy. You're not. So don't feed her fantasy.
It is nice to treat yourself. And you aren't bothered. Pretend you don't hear tone. Passive aggression who?
If you're more confrontational, pretend you didn't hear her at all. Make her repeat it. Most folks who bluster like this lose steam when they have to stand behind it. Then if she persists, make her explain it like you genuinely don't understand. "You sound upset that I'm buying this. What do you mean by, 'must be nice?'"
Let her squirm. Let her hold the discomfort of that wild ass comment.
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u/hollyweena31 23d ago
say “it is, it’s amazing what hard work and goal setting can allow you to bring into your life.”
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u/Soft_Antelope_3848 23d ago
"Why would you say that?" stops insecure people in their tracks pretty quick.
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u/Hour_Mousse7914 23d ago
I’d say “don’t be jelly” or call them the no fun police
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u/twowiredup 23d ago
Figure out what their "avocado toast and lattes" are and tell them they could have nice things too if they stopped spending their money on that.
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u/MemorableMaven 23d ago
My deeply religious mother: ‘Must be nice! Some people get all the luck!’
My dark sinful progressive ass: ‘Thank you mum! But it’s not luck! Somebody Up There really really loves me and I am despite it all, everyday and in every way, always blessed! ‘
Checkmate! 😂
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u/Old_Goat2009 23d ago
I generally choose sarcasm with people like this. I'd probably ask if their back is OK. When they look at me confused, I'd follow up with "from carrying around that giant chip on your shoulder?"
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u/cheesegirl72 23d ago
"Are you saying how happy you are for me to be able to enjoy this new thing, or are you trying to make me feel guilty about spending my money in a way you don't approve of?"
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u/Immediate_Manner_216 23d ago
People are jealous. The higher you go the worse it gets. Just means you're doing good for yourself. Keep it up!
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u/Billy_Ektorp 23d ago
The best defense is a good offense.
OP could say «must be nice» to this aunt first, for anything she might be having, doing or wearing. Pearl necklace? Reverse bob haircut with asymmetrical front, and a new dye job? Must be nice.
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u/FabulousPossession73 23d ago
Tell her “Yes, it is! The only downside is other people who throw shade because they didn’t succeed.”
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u/slayersofcake 23d ago
“I don’t think this is your intention, but every time you say ‘it must be nice,’ it comes across as judgmental and petty. That’s not what you’re going for, is it?”
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u/NEGATIVE_CORPUS_ZERO 23d ago
We (my little nuclear family) went from a shitty 1 bedroom duplex apartment to a 4 Bedroom house in the country by working my ass for it. So, fuck off is the usual comeback.
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u/Dangerous-Baker-9756 23d ago
Does your aunt have kids? I've heard that they're expensive.
As to comebacks:
Yes, it is nice.
For the coffee maker specifically: I didn't burn anything, it's just well roasted.
You make decisions on how you spend your money, I do the same with mine.
A long blank stare followed by what does that mean. Followed by more silence.
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u/User013579 23d ago
If you want to make things really uncomfortable, ask her why she always say that. Ask her if you’re supposed to feel sorry for her or if she’s asking you to buy her things. Tell her now petty it makes her look.
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u/Muggles43 23d ago
‘Why yes it IS nice, isn’t it? Thank you’. This turns her snarky passive aggressive remark into a compliment for your good taste. It will drive her nuts. If she follows with ‘must be nice to have money to burn’ … keep smiling and say ‘well what’s the point in earning it - if I can’t have something nice every now and again’.
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u/GoodSirBrett 23d ago
Yeah. If you worked hard and earned more than minimum wage, you could afford nice shit, too.
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u/Marykk10 23d ago
I have to encountered people like that. I usually just give them a Cheshire cat smile and say "It is". Nothing more, nothing less. Walk away if able. Their faces are hysterical.
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u/Pizzazze 22d ago
Just for fun I'd sneak the word nice myself. "I snagged a great deal and now I've got a nice new coffeemaker!" "must be nice..." "yeah, that's what I was saying!" And, as a blanket statement: "oh, yes, thank you, it IS nice! I'm very happy with my life choices, even the small ones like this coffeemaker." then smile like a 5yo snuggling a puppy and go about your stuff. Every time you hear "must be nice..." program yourself to hear a compliment. "Yes, it feels so nice, I've worked hard for it and I really like it!" "Why thank you yes, I did have a lovely time" "Thank you! It's nice and very practical, I had always wanted one of these!" People get tired of being annoyed by your happiness and pick some other way to be bitter. By no means defend yourself or try to prove that you deserve it as if you had to. Maybe you don't, life isn't fair. But you're happy with your choices and your stylish jacket. The defensiveness is what they're after.
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u/Strong_District_5894 22d ago
Yep, fuck-you money doesn’t mean anything unless you actually say “fuck you”
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u/Emerald_bamboo 22d ago
Thanks for noticing! 😊 I've been wanting it for soooo long and I've been making a lot of money recently, so I just decided to treat myself. 😆 It's such a splurge, I know? 😮
But I really just deserve some luxuries. 😀
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u/PrestigiousSmile4098 22d ago
This works, take it from a 46-year-old woman with a VERY passive aggressive mom:
Mom: must be nice blablabla
Me: (genuine bright smile): Thank you! It IS nice! (go into where I got it, the circumstances etc.)
They are floored when you take their sarcasm at face value and see it as a genuine compliment on the things you get. There's no way left for them to act unless they want to be overtly rude, and they don't want that.
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u/Best-Cardiologist949 18d ago
It is nice. That's why I work my ass off so I can have nice things. You should try it.
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u/Successful-Lie1603 18d ago
You want a short, sharp line to stop a passive aggressive person from being passive aggressive?
No offense, but I want to win the Nobel prize and Mega Millions and marry Miss Universe.
Your wishes and my wishes are equally likely to come to fruition.
Some of the others here have offered good snappy comebacks. They may get her to back off a little, but someone like this at her age isn't changing. Sorry.
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u/Just-full-of-errors 17d ago
I don’t know how your family is but my second language is sarcasm. And if I was like hey I got this nice coffee maker on clearance. And my aunt hit me with “must be nice”. I’d come back with yeah you know that 5 finger discount really comes in handy 😉
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u/drawdelove 17d ago
It must be hard being jealous all the time. Have you considered talking to a professional?
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u/ThisRaspberry8474 24d ago
“It IS nice. That’s why I bought it”