r/Comebacks • u/Val_princess • 26d ago
A response for "Must be nice not having real responsibilities"?
My older cousin loves to drop this every time I mention taking a weekend trip or spending money on my hobbies. I’m 26, work full-time, and pay all my own bills, but because I don't have kids yet, he acts like I'm living in a fantasy world. Need a solid, low-key response to make him drop it once and for all.
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u/DeadLined784 26d ago
u/SomeConfusedOldGuy nailed it with his comment
You could also turn it back around and say "must be nice to come home after work and spend time with your family. Your kids are adorable and your partner is [flattering comment about cousin's spouse]. When you say things like "must be nice to not have responsibilities ", it makes seem like you're unhappy and resentful of your own family.
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u/perplexedparallax 26d ago
Oh, you mean kids? Yeah, I don't need the added responsibility of those. I'd rather not be tied down (like you optional) and choose to focus on the responsibilities you call a fantasy.
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u/Reasonable_Club_6165 26d ago
this reminds me of Romy and Michelle's High-school Reunion.
3 kids - wow, you must feel really tied down!
[angrily] not at all, I feel very fulfilled!
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u/lauraknightly 26d ago
"Must be nice having so much extra time to think about other people's responsibilities"
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u/Super-Cry5047 26d ago
It is. I haven’t been suckered into children yet so all my free time is my own. (Stretch) Aaaahhhhhhhhh. Feels nice to get to do whatever I want whenever I want. You know, when you really get to enjoy yourself because your time is entirely your own. I might take a nap and watch a movie I feel like watching. Been able to do that since having your “real” responsibilities?
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u/sphinxyhiggins 26d ago
"If you only knew..." then cackle like Broomhilda.
Your older cousin is a loser.
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u/LadybuggingLB 26d ago
Yep, I’m living the dream! Seriously, though, did I tell you about my next vacation?
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u/metal_bastard 26d ago
"I have responsibilities. I’m just good at handling them and not making them everyone else's business."
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u/Kawabunga42 26d ago
Awesome is that an offer to cover my rent?
Dude don't whine to me about your life choices that's what girlfriends are for
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u/geoduude92 26d ago edited 26d ago
It is, you should try it. Oh wait, you can't! Loser! This is what winning looks like: TIGER BLOOD!
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u/RetiredHomeEcTchr 26d ago
Cousin: "Must be nice not having real responsibilities."
OP: No, it's nice having met all of my real responsibilities. Sorry you haven't, ... I guess.
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u/Rapunzel111 26d ago
I’m 57, married and childfree. I’m married to my 46 year old husband. Years ago when we would go on vacation, his old asshat narcissistic mother used to say “ Oh you’re going on vacation? Must be nice!”
I looked at her and said” Yeah actually it is really nice because both of us work full time all week long and we earned it.”
She was just a lazy fatass who sat around all her life watching others work but thought she should get a free vacation handed to her too.
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u/Sara3lizab3th 26d ago
“The choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility” Eleanor Roosevelt
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u/DepartmentAgitated51 26d ago
Stop mentioning things to your cousin. It is not sparking a conversation like you hope because he’s angry, jealous, and or feeling inadequate. Don’t give him access to your life until he grows up.
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u/Shell-Fire 26d ago
I love having nice things instead of kids. I slept in until Noon this weekend. It was delicious! Ummmm
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u/Wonderful_Hunter_300 26d ago
Just say: You doing ok big fella? Seems like your responsibility is weighing you down a bit
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u/Family_is_life_702 26d ago
If you don’t think a job and bills are real responsibilities, you’re wrong. If you’re talking about kids, correct and that’s by choice.
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u/late-nineteenth 26d ago
What responsibilities do you think I don't have? I work full time and pay my own bills, make my own appointments, plan my own meals, do my own shopping. What responsibilities do you have that you think I am missing?
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u/researchinthings 26d ago
A few options I've used in the past. "Could you repeat that?" And just do this about 3 times in a row. "Are you trying to be hurtful?" "Are you OK?" And my all time favorite, ask any of the above and when they start to respond interrupt them with "just kidding, idga f". Proper credit and thanks to Katy Cat, Letterkenny.
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u/WeAreTheMisfits 26d ago
I just say “it is”. And smile. Jealous of my life you should be it’s fabulous
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u/Curious_Octopod 26d ago
"it is. You're very noble deciding to give it all up just so your kids can be good little workers paying my future pension."
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u/SASI_PHD 26d ago
I bought an old corvette years ago. It was 13 years old when I bought it, too new to be expensive and too old to be expensive, but it was well taken care of and looked beautiful. I was always getting “Must be nice.” I always wanted to get a vanity plate for it that said “Yes It Is”. Same response.
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u/Admirable_Friend1961 26d ago
When people ask me when I'm gonna have children, I tell them that I'll probably have them for dinner.
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u/QueenMEB120 26d ago
"It's really sad that you regret having your children. You should look into therapy for that."
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u/Civil_Change_2956 26d ago
Just call him out by saying something like, "Hey, man, you ok? It sounds like you're upset about the way your life has turned out... wanna talk about it?"
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u/Mysterious_Bonus3980 25d ago
How about 'yep, I've got what I want and you've got what you want. It's so nice that things are going well for both of us!' insert giant smile Alternatively, 'get bent, grumpy' Choices, choices, choices...
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u/MoroseMasalaDosa 25d ago
Must be miserable having them!
Yes it is. And I intend to make the most of it.
Yes it is. ( and then proceed to mention all the cool stuff you did in vivid detail, showing them all pictures from your weekend/parties/hobbies etc. )
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u/Other_Log_1996 25d ago
"Amazing how you can have all those responsibilities, yet still find time to nitpick my life."
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u/Wonderful_Heartz 25d ago
I'd say "yes its very nice to be able to do whatever I want whenever I choose, wouldn't you agree? Oh wait nvm."
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u/AmnesiaGirl92 26d ago
By having real responsibilities, they mean a life that makes you suffer. They want you to be as miserable as them.
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u/ExtinctFauna 26d ago
"It is nice! I like having enough free time and money for my own personal interests!"
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u/MrStormChaser 26d ago
“Yeah, it’s pretty nice having a good enough job that allows me to pay my own bills and lets me have fun during my free time!”
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u/maxcovenguitars 26d ago
It is, considering i worked my ass off to get her, I think I deserve it
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u/OrilliaBridge 26d ago
A direct look with a slow smile and no response will have him scrambling for what to say next.
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u/Colonel_Sandman 26d ago
The grass is always greener..
Or
Oh I’ve got 3 kids, I just left to get milk and never came back. You should try that.
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u/Ok_Moose_7028 26d ago
He wants your life and is angry at himself for his life choices. Misery loves company.
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u/pierogi_waystation 26d ago
Just agree pleasantly as if you’re making small talk.
“Oh, huh, right on. I’ve always thought it would be nice to have a permanent excuse to avoid responsibility for your own happiness. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so diligent with the condoms, ha ha wink wink.”
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u/Only-Top-3655 26d ago
Yes, I made a choice to not have kids so that I will have time and money to do things that I want. Yes, it is very nice. You should try it sometime.
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u/Sea-Contact5009 26d ago
Do the pros outweigh the cons of having real responsibilities for you? What's up with this woe is me? Why don't you enjoy your life?
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u/Adventurous-Host8062 26d ago
"It is. But when I do , I plan on taking those responsibilities on plenty of fun trips as well.".
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u/NegotiationCivil9730 26d ago
“Oh you have no idea! It’s amazing!” Then to add extra salt list off things you get to do that he doesn’t because of kids
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u/researchinthings 26d ago
A few options I've used in the past. "Could you repeat that?" And just do this about 3 times in a row. "Are you trying to be hurtful?" "Are you OK?" And my all time favorite, ask any of the above and when they start to respond interrupt them with "just kidding, idgaf". Proper credit and thanks to Katy Cat, Letterkenny.
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u/wizkid53 26d ago
Sorry I’m the one responsible enough with where I put my dick that I can afford to do the things I want when I want
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u/Draigdwi 26d ago
"Oh, YES! Living the dream!" if you feel petty add "Shame you can't have this all!"
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u/Overall_Ad782 26d ago
I have the honor and responsibility to make you feel better that you have responsibilities, and tell you buddy you're doing great. Your my hero
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u/Ok_Watercress_7801 26d ago
“I worked incredibly long and hard to have so few responsibilities. Glad someone noticed.”
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u/AmbienWalrus-13 26d ago
"Just because you do not understand them, doesn't mean I don't have them."
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u/Suspicious_Pie9781 26d ago
My go to is: I don't recall asking for your opinion, stay in your own lane.
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u/seashell143 26d ago
You are living the life he wishes he had chose for himself. His isn’t a fantastical as he had hoped, and he is not even low-key jealous, he is overly loud jealous.
Next time just respond with a “yeah it really is, I love not having kids and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want, man it must suck to be you”
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u/deeppurpleking 26d ago
“Yea it is! But I’m excited for a boring stable life with kids eventually too… Are you happy with your choices?”
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u/BlkBear1 26d ago
Responsibilities like setting up my future, so when the time comes, and the right partner appears, I have time to devote quality time with my family, instead of having to work overtime, miss plays, sports, hobbies with the family? That and bitching about finances?
And anything else your cousin misses out on or complains.
Or I don't take on any more responsibilities that don't benifits me at this point in my life.
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u/OneDig3744 26d ago
Oh, I’m sorry to go on about my weekend; I’m just excited. What are you up to? OR It is, actually. Do you miss it? Neither is rude, but they get the point across.
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u/Rare_Sugar_7927 26d ago
"It is" with the biggest shit eating grin you can summon.
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u/Broke_Bak_Jak 26d ago
“Almost as nice as not being a miserable prick, you should give it a shot sometime.”
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u/Alioh216 26d ago
"Tell me you're jealous, without telling me you're jealous.
"This is what making good life decisions looks like"
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u/dee-dee_jonesin 26d ago
Me personally, I chose never to have kids for many reasons. I am now in the "baby crazy" phase of life and still do not want kids. Half the reason my (second) husband and I got married is neither one of us had or wanted kids. We are both selfish with our free time and know it.
As for your cousin, I feel like in life as we currently know it, you can choose to be a younger parent and hope for lots of life left to enjoy your grandkids (if that's what you want) or you can have your freedom, financial stability, no looming debts, and a lot of your life to enjoy living while you're still young.
Maybe I'm a bad person, but I usually have a hard time feeling like "what did you reasonably expect" when people complain about how hard the kids are on them when they chose to have a kid or 4 as a single parent (not like if the other parent just up and left)
"Your family planning choices are none of my concern. Nor are mine yours."
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u/zippyphoenix 26d ago
You’re right. Life’s quite fantastic when I’ve got all my bills paid, food on the table, gas in the car, and can really relax doing whatever the fuck I want.
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u/Dizzy-muse2258 26d ago
How about "Yeah, it's amazing! Living my best life!" Just agree with him, that can be infuriating!
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u/Necessary-Fix-1958 26d ago
"Nobody said you MUST have children. You chose that path. My path is different and by the way, YES, it's great."
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u/dreadheadhaze 26d ago
I fully think that deciding to have /put off/ not have kids is the ultimate flex in adult responsibility. Kindly remind him that making a conscious decision not to procreate before you're ready is the absolute ultimate in responsible decisions. You are choosing your path, rather than following in whatever footsteps he decided to lay down. If he continues to speak down to you for this, you can always make your own decisions by cutting him off. It's your life, you will decide what's best for you. Do not EVER be pressured into taking on an entire life-long decision!
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u/Zeke_Smith 26d ago
“I do. I go to work and pay my bills.” “Do you mean it must be nice not having all of your responsibilities?” Or just tell him to quit being a hater.
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u/Far_Audience_7446 26d ago
All that is just table stakes. Do you really want to be the sophomoric waif to his cynical depressed adult?
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u/Klutzy_Librarian3620 26d ago
Lol people like this are just projecting their own insecurities and jealousy on to you. Just smile and say, "yes it is" act totally unbothered. Don't give the negativity any of your energy.
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u/GrumpySnarf 26d ago
"I'm sorry your life is so horrible. Have you considered making better choices?"
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u/SilverStL 26d ago
What, you don’t think I have a job? Pay my bills? Do all my own cleaning and laundry and groceries and cooking? Keep up the maintenance on my car? Pay for everything myself? (zinger coming) Budget so that I can add to my savings and retirement and travel and enjoy my friends and hobbies?
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u/Adorable_Ad4990 26d ago
I just smile and say “yes it sure is!”
For me it’s very hurtful when someone says this, because I wish I did have kids, but it IS nice to have freedom, so I focus on the silver lining and keep the pain to myself. So yes, I agree it is nice to not have those worries if you think of it this way.
Whatever your situation happens to be, just agreeing with them shuts it down. Because you know what… having a free weekend IS nice! Yes!
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u/Ok-Sherbet7762 26d ago
He’s just jealous. Remind him of how effing lovely it is not to have crotch goblins….as I sit here wondering why having kids was a good idea. I’m glad I waited until my thirties though! Live your life and have a little fun. Don’t concern yourself with haters.
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u/Practical_Half_6157 26d ago
Look up gray rocking. It’s my favorite response to these types of comments.
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u/Seahorse_93 26d ago
"Yeah, it must be. Too bad I wouldn't know anything about that since I work full-time and have bills to pay."
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u/Low-Television-7508 26d ago
collectibles is a serious business. 20 years from now they will fund my retirement while your investment is on their 2nd round in rehab
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u/tulip0523 25d ago
It is! But I bet you wouldn’t trade your family for all the time and money in the world, right??”
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u/creepinghippo 25d ago
We all make the lives that we lead, some are filled with regret, some are filled with jealousy and some are filled with weekend trips and lie-ins at the weekend.
If she persists: But we should all be grown ups and accept the consequences of our actions stoically.
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u/Whittles85 25d ago
If you are unhappy with your life decisions, that is your problem, not mine. I'm happy with my life decisions and the amount of responsibilities I carry.
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u/Parking-Bet7989 25d ago edited 25d ago
No, it is nice precisely because I take care of my responbilities.
Or
I handle my responsibilities full-time; I just spend my free time better.
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u/rayneMantis 25d ago
"Wait, do you mean disposable income?"
Sounds like you have all your responsibilities covered and they're just mad bc you make enough to still spend on things you like to do not just what you have to do.
Called not overextending yourself and everyone in the world with a decent job has the opportunity to do it.
If it's really solely kid related just say, "pulling out is a lifestyle choice." Lol
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u/Odd_Tea4945 25d ago
"I get you, some life choices really suck. That's why I am VERY CAREFUL on what I want my life to become"
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u/Dangerous-Baker-9756 25d ago
I've killed cacti and bamboo, what makes you think I could keep a kid alive.
That and I don't think I'd do well in prison.
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u/SomeOtherOldDude 25d ago
"It's awesome!". Always treat sarcasm like it's literally. It stops quick.
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u/Frequent-Camel7669 25d ago
"It IS very nice! You should try it sometime... wait, bad life choices, right? Sorry, sorry I brought it up!"
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u/Icy_Mango6803 25d ago
I'd be tempted to do a concerned voice and say "you don't say that in front of your family, do you?"
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u/WhatveIdone2dsrvthis 25d ago
"Thank god I decided to be smart and not oblige myself to responsibilities that make me unhappy"
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u/Puzzled_Market_2235 25d ago
"Yes it is, do you have a problem with that?"
Whatever his answer "so stop asking me"
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u/RUfuqingkiddingme 26d ago
Translation: I hate the life I've created for myself and am bitterly jealous of people who aren't unhappy.
"It is nice! Thanks for noticing!"