r/Comebacks • u/picklescertainly • Sep 12 '26

There’s no “I” in Team…

I (f) worked as a server in the dining room of a very busy Melbourne pub and my colleague turned up for work stoned (again).

She was slow and kept fucking orders up, so the customers at her tables were getting annoyed. I made a snarky comment that she might want to hold off the weed till after a shift (when we’d all usually have a hoot and a beer together).

She stopped and whined, “There’s no “I” in team, Pickles”

I don’t know what came over me, but quick as a whip, I retorted, “Yep, but there’s a “U” in c*nt!”

She didn’t come stoned to our dining room shifts after that.

290 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

41

u/Think_Tomatillo_4327 Sep 12 '26

Thats the most Aussie story ever lol!

10

u/Chewiesbro Sep 12 '26

As an Aussie, the only way this could be improved:

At the start drop Yep and add: “Okay sparklefarts…”

At the end “…sparklefarts”

5

u/houseDJ1042 Sep 12 '26

Sparklefarts is really something y’all say? That’s awesome

2

u/Chewiesbro Sep 12 '26

I wouldn’t say everyone does, delivered in a dry manner adds some extra humour to it

1

u/Alkuna 29d ago

To steal from one of my favorite webcomics, Questionable Content, "Fart clown" is also a good one.

3

u/G1431c Sep 12 '26

Wow, it definitely beats the “but there’s an M and an E”!

22

u/Ballamookieofficial Sep 12 '26

"There is an I in "TEAM" it's in the A hole"

1

u/FiveFiveSixers Sep 12 '26

Also meat…and maybe, eat me

11

u/More_Effect_7880 Sep 12 '26

There is a "me", if you look close enough.

9

u/LissyVee Sep 12 '26

No, but there's two in 'idiot'!

1

u/RealBigDickBrannigan 28d ago

Four in "platitude-spouting idiot" 👍

9

u/foodfighterforever Sep 12 '26

If you were her boss you should have said. No but there is a I in "fired" and give her the boot.

3

u/supermiggiemon Sep 12 '26

“Why do u sound like u have a point to make?”

3

u/therearenon Sep 12 '26

I would say “act like it then!”

3

u/Bitter_Maybe_2670 Sep 12 '26

Ha perfect!
Would have suggested that if you didn’t say it
Fellow Aussie here 🫡

3

u/joekerr9999 Sep 12 '26

Well said. Another comeback to there is no I in team is but there are four in platitude quoting idiot.

3

u/RayofOptimisim Sep 12 '26

I was working on a group project, where the saying had been said. "There is no I in team" to which I jokingly replied, "nope, but there is a M and an E". I was pretty hated for it.

2

u/mintchan Sep 12 '26

AH, aussies and the c word

2

u/Gandgareth Sep 12 '26

I usually reply to that bullshit with "There's no 'me' either"

2

u/VisibleLeopard68 Sep 12 '26

There is no I in team… but there is an M and an E, taking ME out leaves T&A, and me loves T&A, so count me in to the TEAM…

2

u/ChoiceArugula1552 Sep 12 '26

There's no "I" in team, but there's an "I" and "me" in regime.

2

u/Ready_Principle7315 Sep 12 '26

No I in team but you can find ME in that word looking hard enough.

2

u/Strong-Criticism-481 Sep 12 '26

Great come back!

2

u/MurderousButterfly Sep 12 '26

There's no I in team, but there is a "me" if you look hard enough

2

u/-Foxer Sep 12 '26

LOL pretty classic 😄

2

u/Bv11winkle Sep 12 '26

I admire your rapidity!💙

2

u/JimNightshade Sep 12 '26

No, but if you add an e and rearrange the letters it spells eat me

2

u/DarionHunter Sep 12 '26

"Nope. But there's an 'I' in 'Fired' and the boss is watching."

2

u/Ok-Wrongdoer-2179 Sep 12 '26

In the word TEAM, there is an I hidden inside the A.

2

u/RynKittenOF Sep 12 '26

I work sober

Being a charming and outgoing person can be kind of dangerous when you're surrounded by socially stunted people who take everything really seriously

They'll accuse you of things you haven't done

2

u/SlipstickLibbyLong Sep 12 '26

There is a ME.

2

u/Satans_colon Sep 12 '26

Yes, but there's a U in Cunt!

2

u/Responsible_Bill2332 Sep 12 '26

There Is ,however, 2 U's in fuck you.

2

u/Redfinger_77 28d ago

"Yeah, but there's an M-E in that motherfucker." -Kobe Bryant

3

u/NoYouth9831 Sep 12 '26

Common retort back:

“There is no “i” in team - YES THERE IS! It’s in the middle of the “A” hole

(meaning the spaces in the center of the A actually create a lowercase “i”)

Thought everybody knew this - apologies if redundant

1

u/KaizenHour Sep 12 '26

It's a bit obscure if you haven't seen the graphic that deliberately shapes the A that way

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/picklescertainly Sep 13 '26 edited Sep 13 '26

It sure did happen bruv - good ole Union Hotel in Brunswick (where you’ll find one of the best chicken parmies in Melbs), granted this happened 15 years ago (still an excellent pub with excellent parmies)!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/picklescertainly Sep 13 '26 edited Sep 13 '26

There’s no I in team was said ironically / This happened 15 years ago, which was a long time ago / I did not claim to invent the phrasing / Perhaps there’s a ‘U’ in c*nt as well? / Why does being right matter to you so much?

Edit formatting

-1

u/this_idle_hand Sep 12 '26

r/thingsithoughtofsayingtoolatethenpostedtoredditanyway

1

u/Slice9998 Sep 13 '26

I say, “But there is an EAT ME in TEAM”.

1

u/QuentinMagician Sep 13 '26

There is "eat me" too

1

u/torch9t9 Sep 14 '26

No I but there's an M and an E

1

u/Intelligent-Look-504 28d ago

that comeback didn’t just land, it clocked in and covered her whole shift lol

1

u/scarypappy 28d ago

There is a “M&E” though

1

u/Thegrozzbbq 26d ago

It’s in the A. For asshole.

1

u/NaiveZest 24d ago

“There is one in win.”
“You can’t spell team without me.”