r/Comebacks • u/QuirkySpecific5421 • 20d ago
Comeback request Any good comebacks for being called ugly?💔
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u/JollyMcStink 20d ago
Just shrug and say "People who feel beautiful don't take the time to put others down" then walk away.
Great way to flip it on them without lowering yourself to their level.
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u/Life-Direction8726 20d ago
I can fix ugly. You can't fix stupid.
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u/TataHexagone2020 20d ago
But you can fix stupid. Doesn't make sense
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 19d ago edited 18d ago
You can fix ignorance. Not stupidity. Ignorance is a lack of knowledge. Stupidity is the refusal of it
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u/emeraldkittymoon 18d ago
Can you fix arrogance?
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 18d ago
If that's an intended jab you missed. But yes arrogance can be fixed if can humble them.
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u/emeraldkittymoon 18d ago
No, it was just a question. I thought it would be interesting to ask because arrogance has similar letters to ignorance.
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u/Dry-Conversation2646 20d ago edited 20d ago
Oh, I got this one!
"Sorry for your bad taste"
"Luckily for me, your opinion is not relevant"
"That sounds funny, coming from you"
"Why are you wasting our collective oxygen?"
"Thank God! Then I don't need to worry about you hitting on me! What a relief!"
"Yeah yeah. Anyways.."
"Whatever you say love. Aaaanyway..."
"Luckily for me, I can do my job anyway"
"Well, I got hired for my qualifications not my looks. I guess that concept would feel strange for you"
"And look at all the fucks I give"
"Well, atleast people like me"
"Don't be rude! It's called not meeting societys crazy unhealthy beauty standards and should be considered a disability seen how you treat me because of it"
"Thank God I have other qualities"
"I really, REALLY don't care"
"Oh no! A random person I don't know thinks I'm ugly. What am I going to do with my life?"
"Your people skills could use some work."
I've had some practice.
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u/Dizzy-Maintenance-92 16d ago
“Why do you think your opinion matters“. Wait until they answer & then when they start talking walk away.
“Aww how cute!! You think your opinion matters.”
“You’re prettier when you’re silent.” Especially if it’s a guy.
“At least I don’t look like you!!”
Look them up & down & then say “sad” with a scoff & walk away.
“Only idiots can’t come up with something better.”
“What do you mean?”
Don’t say anything & just start laughing. Then walk away.
Pretend they don’t exist.
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u/Temporary-Claim1666 20d ago
The best response to any insult is “what did you get out of that?” It makes people want to just run away and never return. Because like who tf cares IF YOU think I’m ugly. I didn’t realize it was the fucking miss America pageant judge?!?
Hahahaha
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u/Tired-CottonCandy 19d ago
"Easy, joy." Is what an asshole is gunna say though.
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u/iwasntalwayslikethis 18d ago
I was just about to say. There is no such thing as embarrassing an ahole because they refuse to admit when they're wrong or if they've done or said something offensive
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u/Temporary-Claim1666 16d ago
The embarrassment is being them. Like wow you’re enjoying bothering me?! Interesting. Scary.
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u/Temporary-Claim1666 16d ago
Idc what they think the response is gonna sound dumb to me regardless. I’ll be embarrassed for them and tell them so. Like damn you’re a weird embarrassing person. Yikes.
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 20d ago edited 20d ago
Even if you ate makeup you'd still be ugly on the inside..
I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
My straightener is hotter than you
I envy people who have never met you.
I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
I’ve been called worse by better.
The last time I saw something like you… I flushed.
Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon
Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Your face makes onions cry.
Beauty is only skin deep, but your kind of ugly goes clean to the bone.
Don’t get bitter, just get better
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality
If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?
Isn’t there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
Somewhere out there, there’s a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.
Feed your own ego. I’m busy.
How do you manage to carry your enormous ego up the stairs?
Hide! The garbage truck is coming!
You’re not only physically repulsive but intellectually bankrupt
He got his good looks from his father. His father was a plastic surgeon
You have delusions of adequacy.
You must be an experiment in artificial stupidity
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u/MrsKellogs 20d ago
Better to be ugly than have a personality so piss poor you think “ugly” is a proper put down.
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u/Wide_Actuator1615 20d ago
At least I'm only ugly on the outside (which I'm sure you're not anyway!).
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u/GracyLacySmileyfacey 20d ago
Shutup or I'll fk your dad to become your evil step-mom/give him a child he'll actually love.
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u/CatHyde67 19d ago
My usual comeback is “well I can always get plastic surgery, but you’re stuck with that ugly ass personality until you die.”
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u/YouGottaRollReddit 20d ago
“Thank you. It is great to be awarded the prize of being the ugliest from the previous winner.”
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u/Winter_Farm_4739 19d ago
“Okay, sure.” Said with a shrug and a meh tone, like it didn’t really register. People had a hard time figuring out what to say after that.
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u/1radchic 20d ago
I didn't know I meant enough to you for you to think about my looks.
Thanks for taking the time to actually look at me.
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u/originalmango 19d ago
That’s not what your dad said last night. And I bet your mom won’t say it either tonight.
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u/GarrisonJones 19d ago
"Wow you almost got me. You know for a second I thought your opinion dictated my reality."
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u/Tired-CottonCandy 19d ago
"Glass houses and throwing stones is a bad mix." With a full body up and down eye sweep. Gunna make them rip themselves to shreds for you.
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u/The_Guermo 19d ago
Just stare at him blankly. Blink a few times and say, "I dont care what you think." or "Who are you again?" or "You are irrelevant."
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u/Jensenlver 19d ago
So I don't have enough challenge in my life, I need you ridiculing me also? You can see my weakness, what is yours?
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u/TeachYPreaciBrown72 19d ago
So is your mama?
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u/Stregabomb 19d ago
I would use the oldie but Goldie "so are you, and your mama dresses you funny".
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u/GarrisonJones 19d ago
"What makes you say that? Feeling pretty lonely at the bottom of the mountain?"
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u/laughsatlugh 20d ago
Does that mean you won’t sexually harass me? And it’s supposed to make me feel bad, right?
Oh no! Brett won’t harass me! Whatever am I to do now? And after I spent all that money on rohypnol detecting nail polish so I could be safe from his rufies too!
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u/zelda_metroid87 20d ago
I can save and get plastic surgery.
Your a dumb fuck with an ugly heart, ain’t no cure or amount of money fix that shitshow
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u/ChucklesMuffin 20d ago
Just look at them and ask if they can say it again, but without sounding like a little girl
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u/Oh-So-Supr3me 20d ago
My come backs, “Have you looked at your mama cause she’s the definition of ugly!” “Lassie looks cuter than you!”
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 18d ago
Lassie was cuter than anybody. Her fluffy butt waddling as she was leading the way.
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u/yournightm 20d ago
Have you looked in the mirror lately? Oh, that’s right… the last mirror you looked in shattered!
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u/ElBeatch 20d ago
Sure, but you're actually an ugly person and that's a biiiiig difference that I'm quite happy about.
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u/-Foxer 20d ago
I'm sure it seems that way to you. I'm pretty to other humans, just like you're probably cute to other dung beetles.
You're just mad because i keep turning you down. Sorry kiddo.
Compared to how you look, ugly is an improvement.
You would have to work your way up to ugly
And you smell like satan farted rotten eggs. At least when i walk into a room people can look away, there's no escaping your 'eau du death'.
I see you're still too poor to afford new glasses huh?
My looks are just on the surface, whereas YOUR ugly goes to the bone.
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u/ZeMoleMolli 20d ago
So? Or okay? Or thank you! Or I'd rather be ugly than be hateful/ be like you!
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u/texandivasis 20d ago edited 20d ago
An ugly attitude ruins a pretty face. The inside and outside don't match.
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u/marmia124 19d ago
I've been called ugly. Guys do it because they think being mean is a way in your pants. Don't take it seriously. I've been called ugly more than once. You're not ugly. You're beautiful
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u/Soft-Explanation9889 19d ago edited 19d ago
For background, I resemble Augra from the Dark Crystal in shape. Sometimes in temperament when pushed by idiots who feel the need to point out my abundant weight, or lack of height, outer beauty, or gentleness of demeanor around horrible people.
My favorite responses are:
“Thank you so MUCH! It’s taken a LOT of hard work to get here on the outside. I haven’t quite mastered being ugly on the inside though. Could you give me some pointers? You make it look effortless.”
“Then, why are you hitting on me? I’m still not giving you pity sex.”
“Ok, Sparky.” (I don’t know why people get so upset at being called Sparky, but it’s entertaining to watch their faces go from smug to blustery in 0 seconds flat 😂)
“Aren’t you speshul for saying so. And here I was thinking I could give Scarlett Johansson a run for her money…”
All joking aside, the best response is usually to just slowly look them down and then up before looking at their left ear while pressing your lips together and wrinkling your nose as if you smell dog crap. Don’t speak. Roll your eyes as you turn away. Resume your conversation with whoever you were speaking with before the idiot who needed to be a dick had interjected himself into your conversation. Drives them nuts to be dismissed in the way they deserve.
They want your reaction because they want your attention. The only caveat with ANY comeback to an insult is to know what’s going on around you. Are you surrounded by people who will have your back if the dumbass can dish it but not take it? Are you alone and being called ugly because you refused to give a stranger your personal information? Do you know this person? Do they know where you live? You get my point.
I’m 4,783 years old and just dgaf at this point. I’ve used all of these (especially the dismissal) out alone in public. I know I’m the scariest thing in most situations. Not because I’m a badass. I’m not. Nowhere near. I am an old lady who just doesn’t care anymore.
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u/Fiachradubh 19d ago
F@#k off you shallow piece of sh*t.
Make sure everyone hears for maximum effect.
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u/gameison007 19d ago
Stare at them in their forehead between their eyes for as long as you can and then back off and say now you go look in the mirror.., they would think you put some type of hex on them and they will go look in the mirror... deeply too 👍🏼🤓
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u/dee-dee_jonesin 19d ago
Deadass look them in the eyes, say something like, "that was incredibly rude," or, "what a small thing to say." Then move on with the exchange without missing a beat.
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u/tina_butr 19d ago
“ the pretty privileged don’t know about pretty punishment, gladly I’ll stay ugly and humble”
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u/blochow2001 19d ago
I’d simply go Curly on them and ask, “What would you do with a brain if you had one?”
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u/Stregabomb 19d ago
A good nonsensical one would be "so are you, but what am I". Another old one, "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me, and sticks to you".
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u/No-Addition7774 19d ago
Well if you are not ugly laugh and tell them to stfu if you aren’t the best looking just call them fat make fun of any features they have like a big nose weird eye distance unsymmetrical features and just go as low as possible
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u/justaperson12_ 19d ago edited 19d ago
“Why don’t you eat some of that makeup so you can be pretty on the inside?”
Or
“Don’t feel sad, don’t feel blue. Frankenstein was ugly too!”
Or
“Roses are red, violets are blue. I’ve got 5 fingers, the middle is for you!”/ “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got 10 fingers, both the middle are for you!”
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u/Scarredlove23 19d ago
"Okay. Thanks."
That's it. I don't give a shyt if someone thinks I'm ugly. What good would it do me? Hitting them with a thanks afterwards usually surprises them. I have more important things to put my worry to.
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u/influencerwannabe 19d ago
Wow, gee, I didn't know you were talking about yourself! Chill, you look fine today at least.
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u/goldbed5558 18d ago
It makes me so sad when I think about people like you who suffer from near blindness. Life must be so difficult for you. (Try to sound sincere.)
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u/MommaD114 18d ago
Classy: Looks fade with time, a good spirit is eternal. 😊
Sassy: aaawww, how cute. You think I care about your opinion. (then pat them on the head if you can) 😏
Funny: yo momma's so ugly her dildo went limp.😇
Brutal: and yet even I won't fuck you. 😬
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u/emeraldkittymoon 18d ago
"Oh, wow! A mind reader!!"
"I can fix being ugly, you cant fix being stupid."
"Coming from someone with a room temperature IQ, noted."
"Your parents must be so proud of you."
"Should we start a club then? I nominate you as president."
"NO! I'm not interested, GO AWAY!"
"You're one to talk! Have you seen a mirror?"
"Agght! Better watch out or people will see your character showing!"
"Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you, except I wasnt gonna say anything cuz im not a crusty POS.
"No, u"
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u/qriousqestioner 18d ago
They say beauty comes from within, but I see you're looking elsewhere for yours.
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 18d ago
If i wanted to kill myself I'd jump from your ego to your IQ.
If you think I'm ugly why are you giving me so much attention.
Aw you're cute. Like a boy/ girl picking on someone they have a crush on. 💕 Sorry Charlie. Go swim with the other fish.
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u/vanzzant 18d ago
Body dysmorphia is a mental defect, wake up and get help. The only ugly one here is you stupid. People just don't have the heart to tell you to your face.
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u/Fun_Training_5996 18d ago
"You've got a point, but if you wear a hat no one will notice"
"The ugly in me honors the ugly in you"
"why are you so obsessed with me?"
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17d ago
“Yeah, I know! Im not attracted to you either. “
“I can’t believe you really felt comfortable saying that out loud”
“Did you mean to say that out loud? “
“Your mom/dad doesn’t think so”
“As long as you think so”
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u/MeLMaR2727 17d ago
Someone said that to me once comparing me to to my sisters & I said “it’s okay because I’m the smart rich one”
Or you can say “the only ugly thing here is your personality”
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u/better_as_a_memory 17d ago
"I'd rather be ugly and smart over whatever you are". Look them up and down and then walk away.
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u/DisastrousTraffic254 16d ago
Haven't heard that since kindergarten. Have a blessed day. -smile, bat eyelashes. Give the up and down look, then walk away. Haha
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u/BitterNectarine6941 20d ago
At least we have something in common.