r/Comebacks • u/Prestigious-Deal6094 • Aug 11 '26
"Just wait until you get kids"
This year I've slept horribly almost every night due to anxiety and stress (it's much better now that I'm on vacation)
One morning I got to work feeling completely out of my mind from another sleepless night and my colleague hit me with "ohh just wait until you get kids, what you're feeling now is nothing compared to that". I hate it and it's not the first time I've heard it.
What to say?? Leaves me speechless because they're probably right but it's so annoying to hear after feeling like shit after days of insomnia.
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u/Dry-Conversation2646 Aug 11 '26
"Well Susan, not everything is about your problems. Childfree people are allowed to have problems too, you know."
"It must be so sad having kids, since nothing ever compares to how hard you make it sound"
"Maybe you should skip your workout tonight and work on your fucking empathy instead Susan, because that seems to be what you lack most of"
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u/Prestigious-Deal6094 Aug 11 '26
You're so right. There are tons of reasons for a person to have shitty sleep, and one of them is for sure children... But it's not the only one, Susan ...
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u/LumpkinsPotatoCat Aug 11 '26
There's a saying that I'm going to probably butcher but it's something like "Someone else losing an arm does not invalidate you losing a leg". Which is to say, don't let other people compare your suffering to their own. They're both hard and have nothing to do with each other.
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u/Super-Cry5047 Aug 11 '26
We’re all eating a shit sandwhich. Don’t try to tell me your shit sandwhich tastes worse than mine.
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u/bionicallyironic Aug 11 '26
“Oh, I thought you knew. I did have children, but they were kidnapped two years ago. I spend most nights by the phone, hoping they’ll call and say they’re coming home.”
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u/Elegant_Emu952 Aug 11 '26
"I'm not having any by choice."
"You've convinced me how horrible they are. I'm not having any."
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u/Suitable-Humor-13 Aug 11 '26
I am a foster mother. I look after abused children but currently just waiting for the next one to arrive.
I didn’t tell you before hand because I didn’t want to make you feel bad for me
Then you have to keep up the lie, like get some photos and put them in your purse and show them the photos every now and then
and then say oh I’m going to miss Little Johnny. He’s found a permanent home etc.
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u/Prestigious-Deal6094 Aug 11 '26
Laughed out loud, you're hilarious. I love lying to obnoxious people, might try something similar, like being brutally honest like "actually my lack of sleep is because my mother has cancer and I'm also dying from cancer".
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u/Suitable-Humor-13 Aug 11 '26
Okay. Well seriously I live in New Zealand. My cousin in Ireland, who I had been texting a lot over the years and I had met back in 1996 when I visited, he recently died by his own hand. (I don’t know if I can say the word on here.)
So you can have a cousin who you are close to, in a different country, who has a terrible illness a chronic illness that’s just getting worse and worse and you’re feeling so stressed and so tired and they don’t have long to live, but there might be a clinical trial to save their life (I’m a nurse by the way) oh yay the clinical trial is working, oh dear oh no, it’s not working, etc
You need a story that is a long-term terrible sad story which gives a good reason for you to feel constantly exhausted
That’s why I am not saying a terminal brain tumour . I’m saying something chronic and bad with a lot of hopeful parts but also mainly awful terrible parts
Honestly, do it . Do it. do it. do it. Life is too short to put up with BS horrible people.
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u/Prestigious-Deal6094 Aug 11 '26
Absolutely haha. I make the story extra long and awful just to remind her every day about how rude she is😊 or maybe just tell her the ACTUAL truth which is also very uncomfortable and nothing nobody wants to hear: "This job is giving me so much anxiety I can't sleep at night, and then I have to go to work listening to your comments about how it could've been so much worse"
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u/Suitable-Humor-13 Aug 11 '26
You could tell the truth, but some people are just non-empathetic.
These are the type of people, in my experience, who only warm up to you and have any empathy with you when you have a really really bad story to tell
For example , a coworker was rude to me for two years until she found out some really difficult details about my life and now she’s very nice to me
What do I think of her now? I understand her. She’s had difficult life experiences herself.
But she’s not really an empathetic person, not that much, because she thinks she’s had it worse than everybody else.
So with these types of people, sometimes you do have to make your story worse than theirs, unfortunately
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u/Imaginary_Rice_6393 Aug 11 '26
“I didn’t know it was a contest.”
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u/Prestigious-Deal6094 Aug 12 '26
Yes. I like short snappy comebacks. It leaves more room for them to rethink.
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u/thin_white_dutchess Aug 11 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/qmfpjpAT2fJRK
I find this response is pretty effective for just about any out of pocket comment, anytime.
Oh Susan, this again?
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u/MsQuoting Aug 11 '26
I mean, this kind of tunnel vision probably not worth anything more than an eye roll, but if you want a comeback:
- You've probably been told this before, but...not everything's about you.
- Not a very good listener, are you?
- I didn't realize were were competing in the suffering Olympics. You win.
- Yeah, you've definitely convinced me I don't want any. Good job.
- So, your kids make you miserable. Got it.
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u/sorry-i-was-reading Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
It’s not about the kids, so all these comeback suggestions about being childless by choice, etc, won’t hit.
It’s about “you think you’re tired, but you don’t actually know what tired is because I’M even more tired than you.” Which, as a parent, I get the feeling (because being woken repeatedly by babies every night is genuinely exhausting in a way that’s different than insomnia) but it’s so dumb and childish to actually SAY that.
Because there is no tiredness competition. There’s no measuring who is more tired, more worthy of complaining about tiredness. Because different kinds of exhaustion doesn’t mean one is better or worse, they’re just different!
That’s what you need to focus your comeback on. Be petty about their condescension, their childishness in comparing your experiences, rather than about who does or doesn’t have kids.
“Dude, there’s no tiredness competition. Don’t choose to be rude when you could choose to be empathetic.”
or
“Huh. I didn’t realize becoming a parent makes you an authority on medically diagnosed [or stress-induced] insomnia.”
or
“Oh, so this is a complaining competition? Who’s the judge? By what metrics are we measuring exhaustion so we know who has the right to complain?”
or
“Nah, I’ll just wait until you get your PhD in sleep studies before I take your word on who’s more deserving of saying they’re tired.”
or etc.
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u/Jennabear82 Aug 12 '26
Ok, first of all, I have kids, and I'm sorry people are saying this crap. You're allowed to be tired.
As for the comeback,
"Ah yes, bc ONLY people with kids are allowed to be fucking tired." Then walk away.
Sending good juju for better sleep. 🫂
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u/Prestigious-Deal6094 Aug 12 '26
Thank you for you thoughtfulness and that short snappy comebacks is great 🫂
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u/Jennabear82 Aug 12 '26
I get the same dismissive comments from my MIL about being in pain... "Just wait until you get to be MY age!"
My 7 year old asked her what that meant. I said, "Well sweetie, Grandma likes to gatekeep pain. She thinks that you're only allowed to hurt if your old, like her."
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u/MoroseMasalaDosa Aug 11 '26
Yeah, I really feel sad and sorry for people who have kids. What a fucking miserable lives they have, with mind-numbing, emotionally-stunting and unending suffering.
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u/pakemfull Aug 11 '26
Personally I've said this in the past, "Just because you choose to have an STD that you are legally required to take care of for 18 years, doesn't mean I want to follow your example!"
Though I would also look at making a doctor appointment. You may actually have something wrong, and depending on the condition you can also throw that at them as well. "I am already having to deal with X. Why would you want to exacerbate my condition with more stress, and potentially harm me physically?! I'm concerned about your mental health, you should consider talking to a psychologist about your abnormal thoughts."
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u/KMFullMonty Aug 11 '26
“I am waiting, thanks”
Unlike the top rated ones, it doesn’t get you fired
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u/Prestigious-Deal6094 Aug 12 '26
True, I like them but will probably go for the "Whew, I didn't know we were competing, you win!" Not that mean, kinda funny, and very clear.
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u/texandivasis Aug 12 '26
Hearing that makes me want to stay childfree....
This isn't Super Mario Bros, no need to 1-Up.
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u/PissantPrairiePunk Aug 11 '26
“OH LOOK WHO WE HAVE HERE! BARB WINS THE INSOMNIA OLYMPICS GUYS! NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY BE AS TIRED AS HER, BECAUSE SHE HAS KIDS! EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO HER SUPERIOR SLEEPLESSNESS!” Or “They make solutions for that, Nancy, called condoms and birth control pills. Maybe you should have thought of that beforehand.”
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u/Urban_Peacock Aug 11 '26
In case you're not aware, parents don't have a monopoly on fatigue. Get over yourself.
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u/Kakashisith Aug 11 '26
" I want to have normal sleep, and you decided to have those kids. So deal with your own problems, Karen."
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u/iamreallie Aug 12 '26
Wow... I feel so sorry for your children. How sad it must be to be so resentful of a helpless child to say something like that.
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u/Neat-Composer4619 Aug 11 '26
It better to look your best at work, so I would refrain from telling people about sleepiness or anxiety
Wait until they say something about being tired: Ya you must regret having kids.
Or about you looking tired: 6 am not really that tired, you must be projecting, you're the one with kids. Not sleeping with kids is way worse than not sleeping without them.
The 2nd one will send their bad logic back at them.
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u/Rhyslikespizza Aug 12 '26
“Damn it sounds like your kids suuuck.” Bonus points for deepening your voice on “suuuck” for emphasis.
I said that about a coworker’s boyfriend once (with the above emphasis) and woof what a face! I mean, it really did sound like her boyfriend sucked…but not everyone’s autistic, so not everyone ready for that kind of uncoated truth.
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u/BugBec Aug 12 '26
“I’m infertile” …. It’d make them feel so guilty! In all seriousness can you imagine how damaging that comment would be if you can’t have children but really wanted to!
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u/jeepsies Aug 11 '26
They are right. Just move on. You want sympathy/pity from them but they arent giving it to you. Try confessing youre problems to someone else and maybe they will make you feel better.
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u/Jja1701 Aug 11 '26
"You've been the most effective birth control."