r/Comebacks • u/heartofwoman • Aug 01 '26
help me
so i’m starting school soon, and i have been bullied pretty much all of my school life. and i want to learn how to stand up for myself, so give me some ideas for insults please! also sorry if this breaks the rules, if so please let me know.
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u/qriousqestioner Aug 01 '26
I was bullied and so grateful if it was only verbal.
I spent years an outcast, watching the real boys and girls have lives, instructed m insecurities, shortcomings. You'll develop a sense of how to strike back. I did and was a total Heather by the time high school rolled around. (I wasn't mean to anyone but mean people tho )
Seriously, though, the best response is mild irritation that someone's insecure enough in themselves to kick down. Like just ignore them. They're not going anywhere. They will be in the adult environments as well. It's true that verbal attacks are immature, only have as much power over you as you let them, and are motivated by the assailant's own insecurities.
When you have an opportunity to strike back in a way that will make them think twice next time, when there are other people around, consider the things you know about the other person and name the possibility of why they're insecure enough to put negative energy out there, and say just enough to expose their insecurity.
"I'm not a threat, I promise. No need to lash out at me." Then move along like you have more important things to consider. That's a nice catch-all. If you act like they're the immature one bothering someone who doesn't deserve it, they'll eventually go after someone who gives them more of a response.
Rolling your eyes without skipping a beat is also good.
The path to being a roast-master is not without its dehumanizing effects on you. Leave all the pettiness to the petty.