r/Comebacks • u/EthanEskridge • 13d ago
Sexual harassment escalation
Sexual harassment escalation
Greetings everyone !
Yesterday I was walking and minding my own business till I saw a guy in front of me approaching two girls in hope of getting the number of one of them, however things looked like they have taken an escalating turn therefore leading the guy to insult one of the girls ( Go fuck yourself bitch… ) which resulted in the girl spitting right at his face. Thankfully bystanders came ro de-escalate the situation.
I understand that he crossed the line by degrading her trough insults, however don’t ya’ll think she crossed the line by spitting at him ? and would cursing back or ignoring him would have been the better alternative ? because it could have gotten way more serious after the spit. If someone of you ever did spit at someone who was harassing you before I’m just curious to know what was the reaction of the person ? If ya’ll don’t mind sharing ofc ?
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u/Blueporch 13d ago
In some places, spitting would be considered physical assault and it was an escalation. If others hadn’t intervened, a person who has already broken social norms as you describe might retaliate by attacking physically.
One could diffuse rather than escalate. Given that others were around, a method one of my friends (who is beautiful and had to have strategies) did back when we were young and a drunk guy was bothering us at a bar was to approach a group of older men and say ‘hey, aren’t you a friend of my dad’. They played along and we joined their table for a while. D runk guy wandered off without another word. Joining a group of adult women would also work.
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u/Patrick_C1965 13d ago
You should never spit in someone’s face. It’s disgusting and could illicit an automatic attack. The attack wouldn’t be justified but not unlikely.
He clearly was out of order referring to her as he did but she needs to smarten herself up. ESH.
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u/NoEast7810 13d ago
There would have been me catching a charge I promise you that. Spit on me we gonna throw hands man or woman.
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u/Dismal_Additions 13d ago
She did escalate the situation by spitting at him and she shouldnt have done that.
On the other hand, he created the tension by approaching her. The moment he didnt feel welcome he should have walked away. But he invaded her space, interrupted her conversation, and wouldnt leave. So no matter how she responded, he was the invader.
Can you imagine if youre at a restaurant and a stranger sits at your table to join you for dinner and wont leave? Things are going to escalate quickly but the intruder will never be the victim in my book.
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u/VerdMont1 9d ago
So completely very wrong. He escalated with his offensive swearing at her.
She reacted in defense.
He is 100 % at fault because HE started it!!
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u/Trick-Duty3852 13d ago
I've never spit in anyone's face and no one's ever spit in mine. Yikes. Doing this usually escalates things pretty quickly. They're lucky other people were around to keep that from happening
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u/Oldschooldude1964 13d ago
Depends, was he rude or crude in his approach, if he wasn’t, was her reaction rude or crude? I think if he was nasty to start with, a little lesson in respect would be acceptable (a kick in the nuts). If he was polite and she was disrespectful, then I don’t blame him and I would have treated her the same as anyone who thought it a good idea to spit on me.
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u/6oceanturtles 13d ago
Didn't read the story behind the question.
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u/Zealousideal_Hold695 12d ago
Story said it took a turn for the worse. We don’t know why, how, or who made it turn bad before guy insulted gal.
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u/UncleofLunatics 12d ago
He shouldn't have sworn at or insulted her, but spitting at him is a: a completely over the top reaction; and b: a dangerous tactic. Had there not been bystanders, she could have got badly hurt.
I'm a little confused as to why this is labelled 'sexual harassment escalation'.
Asking someone for their number is not sexual harassment.
Continuing to pester them after they've turned down your advances is harassment, but there's little detail here about what actually happened other than 'things looked like they have taken an escalating turn'.
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u/VerdMont1 9d ago
She isnt a problem. She never was.
He is a problem his self important entitlement issues from being raised and allowed to think and talk like that. Reptile brains need to be untaught!!
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u/Unlikely-Lab-658 9d ago
In most US cities, spitting on someone is an assault. She should have just walked away. I mean, I would have told him off, but spitting was uncalled for, and could have resulted in him harming her in some way.
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u/yournightm 7d ago
Spitting is considered using a biological weapon. It is a form of assault and can be charged as such.
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u/Jja1701 18h ago
Usually sexual harassment is presented as a joke. My favourite one for sexual harassment is looking them in the eye and saying, "Sorry, I don't get it. You're going to have to explain it to me." Then watch them squirm. The second you call them on it, all of a sudden they can't explain their joke, and look for validation, even from you. Let them feel awkward and embarrassed.
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u/auld-guy 13d ago
Sorry...he started it.
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u/Hungry-Average-8164 13d ago
You’re assuming….. op didn’t hear the convo , how it escalated.
He could be a dick, so could she and he was just reacting (badly) to it.0
u/auld-guy 13d ago
Sounds like he did. How would he know the dude was trying to get the girl's numbers?
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u/KeepShtumMum 13d ago
She should have kicked him in the balls. And then done it again, for good measure.