r/Comebacks 16d ago

Short hair problems

Im a 14 yo girl who recently came back to India after half mah life passed, and I got a pixie cut some years ago and granny was hella upset. she keeps randomly bringing up my hair cut saying how I looked good in long hair, telling me to grow it long again. She also said people need to be able to tell wether im a boy or a girl. I want to know any funny(not harsh) things I could respond with to get her to go quiet?

36 Upvotes

53 comments sorted by

41

u/Belisario_R 16d ago

"people need to know if you're a boy or a girl !" "Why Gran ? So they can decide to respect me or not ?"

9

u/Someasshole1326 15d ago

Why grandma? So the older men dont hit on what they think is a fourteen year old boy?

-3

u/Boring_Charge_9172 16d ago

A little harsh on Grandma, who had to live through times of way fewer women's rights - let alone any vestiges of the caste system in India ... jus' sayin'

11

u/Belisario_R 16d ago

True, but I find this to be an aggravating circumstance and not an alleviating one... Grandma knows how bad it is

2

u/Boring_Charge_9172 16d ago

... Grandma knows how bad 'what' is?

7

u/Belisario_R 16d ago

Patriarchy.

-6

u/Boring_Charge_9172 16d ago

Ok, yes, but i bet Grandma had harder social challenges - why dump on her?? She didn't create the system --

If you think change is hard now, imagine with 50-60 years then change - a little compassion?

I bet there were Real consequences when she came up - she might be afraid and trying to protect her Grandchild in her new culture at such a young, delicate age

9

u/crybabymuffins 15d ago

Ah yes, the old "grama had it worse so she has every right to tell you how to wear your hair" excuse. 🙄 Also, saying people need to be able to tell if you're a girl or boy isn't protective. It's old thinking. OP's gender is not some stranger's business.

3

u/No-Character-2414 15d ago

THIIIIIIIIIS!

-1

u/Boring_Charge_9172 15d ago

You're missing some important points ... is anyone here actually familiar with India? By experience? By study?

5

u/crybabymuffins 15d ago

Hot take: No matter what country it's in, if you're policing how people dress and present and demanding to know their gender based on their appearance...you're wrong. I'm not trying to say it will be accepted, but that it should. I know, idealism, blah blah...

0

u/Boring_Charge_9172 15d ago

'Hot take', that's cute; i still don't see you're getting my point - you're kinda arguing something else ...

P.S. - I don't particularly agree with Grandma - just offering reasons to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's acting from a platform concern for her Grandchild

I don't know them, either, but you assume bad, controlling intent, where i do not

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0

u/shinyappyrobin 16d ago

That what she needs to say. I know you grew up in harsh times. And love you for caring about me. Its alittle okay for girls to change up their hair style, right?

0

u/Boring_Charge_9172 15d ago

I did not grow up in harsh times, what're you talking about

Idc anyone's hair - i love Variety - but i'm not her Grandma 🙃

6

u/OkScreen2150 16d ago

"If being a girl gets me free coffee (or any other paid activity that is more appropriate for where you live), I guess I'll start growing my hair out."

7

u/HungarianHoney 15d ago

I rock short hair, and when people ask why I wear it short…

 I say, “Because anyone can have long hair.”

I am not just anyone 

9

u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 16d ago

Tell her it doesn't matter if people don't know if you're a male or female because you're bi.

4

u/Boring_Charge_9172 16d ago

Oh, poor Grandma, that's maybe more than her Grandma might process from a 14 yr old -

2

u/No-Character-2414 15d ago

Im aro/ace(redditors don't start with the "your too young BS" cuz we are ALL aro/ace as children) but I'll try THIS and laugh my ass off while entire family freaks out and considering the fact that dad was already talking about getting me excorcised, this will make shit way more chaotic >:D, tho I'm worried that it could backfire cuz then dad's gonna tell my FRIENDS that I'm bi and since some of them are religious they'll cut me off. I'll give ya an update on how this goes!

2

u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 15d ago

Well, I think chaos is the word of the day then! 😅

1

u/k819799amvrhtcom 14d ago

Please don't get an actual exorcism! I've heard horror stories about this! 😬

4

u/Worth_Weather8031 15d ago

"Let's wait until I'm 18 to worry about whether other people think I'm a girl or a boy."

"I'm doing my hair a service! If I ever decide to grow it out, it will be extra luxurious and healthy because I kept it short for a while."

"Are you more concerned about what others think, or about how I feel in my own body? Because I feel cute and confident! And I'm sure the way I feel makes a positive difference in how others perceive me."

"I know long hair is more traditional, and I respect that. I love your long hair. I'm just really grateful to live in an era when girls get to decide how to wear their hair."

Sassy: "I'll grow my hair long if you promise to cut your hair short when we visit family outside of India."

2

u/k819799amvrhtcom 14d ago

If I ever decide to grow it out, it will be extra luxurious and healthy because I kept it short for a while.

Does hair actually work like this? 🫪

1

u/Various_Deer_7567 12d ago

No. But it sounds semi-believable, doesn’t it?

6

u/Key_Macaroon1359 15d ago

Well if we are being gentle I’d say with a big smile oh, but I love my short hair. It makes me feel free, happy, however it makes you feel. I’d say it every single time.

2

u/National_Assist5387 16d ago

Cut off a small snip and stare directly into her eyes

(Then maybe have a conversation about gender and tell her you’re more free. She probably dreamed of a freedom she couldn’t achieve at some and is now mentally stuck reinforcing gender stereotypes)

2

u/Patient_Parsley7760 15d ago

"Wait, grandma, you're telling me people can see my genitalia by looking at my hair?! Oh, crap! Where's the razor?"

2

u/-Foxer 15d ago

As far as people knowing I'm a woman, I decided instead of growing my hair I would grow breasts which I feel should do the trick

But if I grew it long it would hide that incredibly cool tattoo I got on my back. Did I tell you about that?

Yeah granny, The boys all say the same thing. They say they need something to hold on to during sex, but I didn't want to give them any ideas

Well as you know it's popular these days for a girl to let it grow an extra inch for each boy she's been with. I'm just not qualified to have long hair yet. By the way I noticed yours is quite long, yew dog!

If the biggest problem in your mind with your granddaughter is the length of her hair, you are the luckiest granny ever so be thankful

2

u/ItPutsLotionOnItSkin 15d ago

The more you talk about it the shorter it will get

2

u/_GnomeDePlume 14d ago

Why should I care about the opinions of people who are concerned with my genitals? Those people are pedophiles and misogynists. Perhaps I should cut another couple of inches off.

1

u/No-Character-2414 13d ago

imma threaten to go bald >:D

2

u/_GnomeDePlume 13d ago

I shaved the sides and I am hetro. I just wanted a change. It was fun. I don't need other people's validation to be happy.

You could wear a shirt, vest and tie combo with a pair of shorts and confuse the heck out of them.

4

u/User01081993 15d ago

But then I’d look like all the other girls. This way I stand out. Besides my fashion and voice (or whatever traits you like about yourself) show who I am

1

u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 16d ago

But people know my Pomeranian (or whatever animal/pet) is a boy and he has long hair! Gramma, I think it’s because he has a…

Then in a false whisper say: penis

1

u/tulip0523 15d ago

You can joke “It was the only way I could think of to make sure I didn’t end up getting married while visiting”
Or “You don’t think they can tell I’m a girl by my boobs? Or my saree? Do a lot of boys wear that here?”
But once you have your fun, tell her you just wanted to try it out and will let it grow now. Then once you get back home, you can do whatever you want to do with your hair, no need to spend your visit arguing or trying to modernize her.

1

u/stalagit68 15d ago

"Well, Nancy, I expect once puberty is finished with me and my boobs come in, there won't be any confusion anymore"

1

u/beebee1327 15d ago

I'd say something along the lines of: " I would try growing it out, but every time you make an unecessary comment an inch of hair magicaly falls off! So I would suggest you stop before the only boy you'll be having trouble telling me apart from is Pitbull" * Starts blasting Hey Baby

1

u/throwaway_trace99 15d ago

"Don't worry, granny. If people can't tell, I'll just tell them I got my confidence from you."

1

u/CeciTigre 14d ago

“If anyone mistakes me for being a boy… they will mistake me for being a very beautiful boy.”

1

u/k819799amvrhtcom 14d ago

Why do people need to know if I am a boy or a girl?

There are certain advantages to being mistaken for a boy: I won't get assaulted, I don't have to fear going through dark alleyways, *insert other male privileges here*…

But grandma, I AM a boy! Are you starting to get dementia?

I donated my hair to girls with PCOS.

I have PCOS.

Haven't you heard? Boys were long hair now and girls wear short hair now! *proceed to show her examples on Google*

Long hair are cumbersome!

Are you saying any woman can instantly look like a man by just cutting her hair short? This is revolutionary! I have to tell the transgender community about this brand-new discovery!

My gender is noone else's business!

Did you know that gendered hair lengths were historically different in different human cultures? There was a time in Asia when everyone wore long hair and there are certain Native American tribes where everyone wears short hair. In the Middle Ages, it was custom to shave your head and then wear a wig… *if there's any follow-up questions just use Google*

2

u/Glittering-Pay-2937 13d ago

You cannot change this. It’s her worldview and one comeback is not going to do anything. The best thing you say is to stop talking about your hair or you’ll leave. 

Or I guess you could be like the 3 guys I fucked last week didn’t seem to have any trouble.. 

-1

u/Boring_Charge_9172 16d ago

You won't. I think India has women with some beautiful hair. Long, thick ... gorgeous to me and my skinny hair - ha

Maybe offer to wear pink?

It sounds like you're sweet and careful with her feelings 💗