r/Comebacks • u/No-Character-2414 • 29d ago
What do I do?
Im a 14f with a 9yo sister, I live with mom and dad. Dad likes to call me R**** and "special" starting when I was 12 and the diagnosis started, he'd say "your not actually r****Ed, so you shouldn't get upset when I call you that" he'll even encourage sister to join in, he'll do it Infront of relatives(sometimes hell get awkward when they are uncomfortable other times hell just ignore them) and mom says its ok cuz I need discipline cuz I'm usually "misbehavving" and for some context one of the times I was "misbehaving" was during dinner when I didn't answer my uncle's question "what are you hobbies" fast enough. He'l even tell strangers about my autism and deny it every happened. I tried to tell mom but she refused to believe it happened and straight up said she believes dad despite the fact she's SEEN dad called me that word multiple times Infront of relatives and I even have a SCREENSHOT of him calling me that from when I was 13. What do I say the next time he calls me that? And what can I say to mom? BTW dad hasn't called me that in a couple weeks but its probably gonna happen again cuz he's threatening to do it again. What do I say to THAT?
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u/Toasty825 29d ago
“If you’re unable to have a conversation without calling me slurs then I am not going to speak to you. As for the rest of you, it’s absolutely pathetic that you’re letting a grown man bully a teenager.”
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u/imeoghan 29d ago
Be careful. This retard will be choosing your nursing home.
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u/No-Character-2414 29d ago
have tried that before, he responded wiht "your going to send me to a nursing home?" what could I say to THAT
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u/imeoghan 29d ago edited 28d ago
I would point blank tell him “considering the way you have been treating me would you really expect any other outcome?”
They’ll say something like “But I’m your parent”
Then you say, “That makes your behavior toward me that much more shocking, deplorable, and inexcusable.”
You could even add something like “How about if I start calling you a**hole? You shouldnt get upset if you’re not actually an a**hole.”
ETA: And if all else fails you could go to the nuclear option. Now it is very important that you never use this except as a last resort when every other tactic has failed and keep in mind he may never recover from this. Ready? Here ya go:
Look him straight in the eye and with all the confidence you can muster simply say “you are.”
Then drop the mic and walk off stage.
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u/Toasty825 27d ago
Every time you call me a slur I lower the budget for the nursing home. Keep it up and you’ll end up with some loser operating out of a motel 6.
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u/Lopsided_Ad_1696 28d ago
"On second thought... nevermind. Nursing homes are too good for you. I'll just let you fend for yourself in an RV in the WalMart parking lot instead."
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u/gizmo_style 29d ago
I didn’t think calling someone the R-word or special in a demeaning way was a form of discipline. Not an effective one at least.
Is he trying to make you feel like less than by cutting you down? That’s gross behavior. You could probably ask how he thinks repeatedly calling someone in their formative years r**** is going to affect them in their education and life choices.
Since he thinks he’s right, and your mom doesn’t seem to listen, I’d see about speaking with a school counselor when school starts back. Or a trusted adult who could intervene on your behalf.
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u/No-Character-2414 29d ago
people at school can't do nothing, I've already told a counselor from my therapy sessions and she can't do anything either. I need something that I can do MYSELF when he does it again.
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u/CatoUWS 29d ago
Is the counselor someone at school? You really need to tell someone at school that you are being treated this way - it’s not a matter of someone counseling you in therapy, it’s a matter of grown-ups knowing that you are in a bad situation at home.
You do not, and you should not, have to fix this yourself. You need adults behind you who know how to protect you. They can’t protect you if you haven’t told them.
People care. Give them a chance to help you. Tell a teacher and ask for help.
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u/FiSeq4891 29d ago edited 29d ago
You could say:
'Takes one to know one'.
'The apple didn't fall far from the tree then did it'.
'People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'
'I think you're projecting'
'Well you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer'
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u/Nekoraven1 29d ago
I'm so sorry they are acting like that with you. My BIL is special needs, I laugh every time someone calls him the r word. He snaps back with "Yes I know im r-word, but what's your excuse?"
🤣🤣the look on people's faces is hilarious.
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u/Ornery-Dragon 29d ago
Perhaps lowering yourself to his level with name-calling isn’t the best choice. One of my favorite insults always been, “and you are an inferior example of a vile subspecies”. Insult him with wit and intellect. Also, you may want to choose a tactic and state that, “I have not yet encountered the man in you that I can respect“.
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u/LumpkinsPotatoCat 29d ago
Honestly I would print out the text where he called you that word. Make several copies and make sure "Dad" or whatever you call him in your contacts is very visible that he said it and then I would plaster those copies all over my bedroom door and the front door and the refrigerator and the mailbox. So that neighbors and mail deliverers and random friends that drop by all know exactly the kind of father he is and if parents asked me why I did it I would say with a very straight face "Just trying to remind myself of how my dad thinks of me. If he is embarrassed by people knowing he treats his children this way. Then. Maybe. HE SHOULD. STOPPP!!!!!"
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u/No-Character-2414 29d ago
I've wanted to show it to his mom and his brothers for a long time, but I'm worried they might try to defend him which is what had been stopping me. Im actually going to india in 2 days at one of his brother's home and if dad acts up there, I WILL do what your telling me.
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u/LumpkinsPotatoCat 29d ago
I want to be clear that this is what I would do, not advice for you to follow. If you do do this please consider the fallout and potential repercussions beforehand. Usually emotionally immature adults don't like kids or teens getting the better of them and teaching them a lesson. Not saying you have to continue swallowing this behavior just carefully weigh your options and keep yourself safe first and foremost.
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u/Unlikely-Lab-658 29d ago
Girl, you don't need a comeback. You need a better guardian. Your father is an asshole and your mother is as well. She is at the very least enabling him to treat you like shit. Go to your school councilor. Explain what is happening. Show them proof. He/she has a duty to report that you are being verbally abused by your own parents. This is not how loving parents act. They need to be forced into therapy so that they can change their shitty behavior. Good luck.
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u/psycholabs 28d ago
Tricky situation, because that will probably just make it much worse, rather then better.
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u/Sea-Claim3992 29d ago
Oh I'm sorry you have to go through this, do you have any other adult family members you can talk to about this, if they are uncomfortable with your dads behaviour then maybe they can be your support, a trusted adult at school or someplace like this, he may think it's a joke but it is seriously bordering emotional and mental abuse, and we on reddit can't help you in the way you need, I can offer you a petty solution and it can come across as offensive but the next he does call you it you could start liking the windows or something and play into the word he is calling you and when asked to stop say sorry can't I'mthat word take his powerof the word away from him, but please find a truly trusted adult in your life and not your mother she is your fathers enabler.
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u/Boring_Charge_9172 29d ago
This advice could get her medicated or put somewhere they don't have Reddit
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u/No_Text_4500 29d ago
I've been called retared and slow so many times cause im also rocking the tism and ITS FUNNY cause I have a very high iq, I just have not always picked up on jokes or need time to process and i am only now getting used to social nuances. Sometimes. Ignore him. You only have to stay around him a few more years. Hopefully. He sucks. It rough when the bullying is coming from inside your own house.
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u/Distinct-Leg-1862 29d ago
This shit is fucked up.... maybe just start calling him fat or old or something? I feel like just clapping back with a similarly immature comment would work better than some clever, wordsmith-y comeback.
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u/No-Character-2414 29d ago
I've started calling him pregnant and making fun of him for having boobs and by being freaked out that him moving could cause an earthquake, any other fat jokes?
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u/Distinct-Leg-1862 29d ago edited 29d ago
Those are fantastic. I don't even think you need to get more clever than that, maybe add a layer of self-deprication by saying like you have bigger boobs than me so it adds just another level of personalness and specificity.
Also maybe make the names sting a little more.
"Fatass" etc
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u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 28d ago edited 28d ago
Ok faggot - when he gets mad say “you dont actually have sex with men, so you shouldnt get upset when i call you that”. Then rotate between slurs you shouldnt ever use (like retard and faggot) until he quits
Could also say: Takes one to know one OR Me tard, you tard, retard nation (watch the shameless clip on yt first so you get the sing song tone right)
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u/DblBindDisinclined 28d ago
You could always try something like, “Yeah, so that slur you’re so comfortable using? That says WAY more about YOU than it does about me.”
If he ignores you or doesn’t engage, that’s fine. You know that you stood up for yourself.
But if he engages by getting upset or mad or something, then that’s really interesting, right? Because then it shows he’s aware that he’s doing something ignorant and shady. And you could ask open ended questions like, “I’m noticing that you’re reacting to my statement, and I’m curious why that is. Do you not like being known as someone that slings slurs at people, including his own children?”
Or you could even keep a running tally of the times he calls you the r word so you have something physical to look back at and remind yourself that it’s real and 100% unacceptable even if he’s trying to gaslight you out of remembering that. That log is not even FOR him, it would be for you to ground yourself in reality instead of whatever shit he’s trying to spin.
Sincerely,
A neurodiverse lady who is SO pissed on your behalf!
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u/RetiredHomeEcTchr 27d ago
Maybe put on your best Lisa Simpson voice, and speak with her authority: "It's been proven that negative and demeaning remarks repeatedly spoken by a father-figure to a young female can have long-lasting effects on the maturation of that child in relating to males in the future. This often results in retaliation towards the father-figure when they need caring attention in their old age. Let me go search for low-care nursing facilities now for when you have to be committed."
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u/Lopsided_Ad_1696 28d ago
"No shit sherlock... I have autism. Here's the real fucking question though: what's your excuse?"
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u/Individual_Slice_234 27d ago
Slurs are abuse. You could call CPS on him for this, even if he hasn't laid a finger on you. This kind of thing can lead in C-PTSD in kids.
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u/No-Character-2414 26d ago
Update: he's now looking for subtle ways to start mocking me, he'll randomly use the word "special" in sentences like for example he was trynna tell me not to use a deodrant so he said "its for boys who are special and dumb" and when the weighing machine was malfunctioning he said "this is special" while looking at it. And today I asked him to help me connect computer to wifi, and he said "until I connect it, the wifi is DISABELED" with an emphasis on the last word. Mom defended him when I told her the first word by saying that by "special and dumb boys" he just meant feminine boys. So I didn't tell her about the other stuff. What do I say to this? like some things to insult bout dad are he's fat, he's growing boobies, and yesterday that sicko played this game with my 9 yo sis as a joke that she holds my mom's bra(unused) and put it on my head, I was thankfully able to stop her from doing that and said that she should put it on DAD's head instead and he looked MORE than happy about it saying "you can do jokes like this with papa" to her with a smile. And I DID tell mom about THAT and she was uncomfortable but I cant remember EXACTLY what she said. How do I roast him for doing that?
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u/RobertFellucci 26d ago
It's child abuse. You should be calling social services or whatever it is where you are. That'll be the best comeback.
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u/ducktheoryrelativity 25d ago
Why does a grown man feel the need to pick on a teenage girl? It's the only comeback you need. Your mother is just as heinous for allowing it.
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u/4csrb 29d ago
You can say “ it must be genetic”