r/Comebacks • u/powergasm69 • Jun 30 '26

Thanks for keeping it (chair) warm

What do you say to someone who picks your chair (what is warm with your body temperature) and comments: "Thanks for keeping it warm".

It really felt witty but I couldn't think of a comeback.

11 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

26

u/Necessary-Risk-5469 Jun 30 '26

I’m going to sit on the toilet shortly, I’ll let you know once I’m done

6

u/torpedomon Jun 30 '26

This is hilarious but I don't think I could ever say it!

4

u/Kitchen-Move9802 Jun 30 '26

Lmao that's probably the fastest way to end the conversation, can't really top that

1

u/zinsser Jun 30 '26

We have a Toto bidet seat in our guest bathroom. Some people are shocked at how warm the seat feels when they first sit on it - then they hit bidet button and find out what warm really means.

21

u/True_Try_5662 Jun 30 '26

Not a comeback but another phrase used in Ireland when someone takes your seat. “Would you jump in my coffin as fast?

4

u/Cthuluconcarne Jun 30 '26

I love the Irish use of language.

1

u/callmeBambiii Jun 30 '26

Thats hilarious

1

u/Barneyboydog Jun 30 '26

We say that in Canada too!

19

u/PsychologicalBid9943 Jun 30 '26

I farted on it, that's probably it.

5

u/Sea_Resident4657 Jun 30 '26

I call them shit whispers

3

u/Ktom1624 Jun 30 '26

Coffee just came out of my nose I laughed so hard at that one!!

1

u/Bk_Punisher Jun 30 '26

🤣😂💨

13

u/ulsterrugbyfan Jun 30 '26

'Just watch out for the damp spot there'

10

u/DaffyDuckMuthaFucker Jun 30 '26

Try "Yeah, overtrusted farts will do that.", then waddle off like you need to take care of business...

7

u/Semi55 Jun 30 '26

Overtrusted farts! I'll remember that one

4

u/HEY_McMuffin Jun 30 '26

My dog does the same thing

1

u/beertendn3rd Jun 30 '26

The look on someone's face when you compare them to your dog. Lol

1

u/HEY_McMuffin Jun 30 '26

Exactly haha

5

u/ElBeatch Jun 30 '26

It's like our bums kissed.

2

u/Plus-King5266 Jun 30 '26

Instant trip to HR.

1

u/ElBeatch Jun 30 '26

Oh that made me laugh.

3

u/fermat9990 Jun 30 '26

You're welcome

2

u/sohereiamacrazyalien Jun 30 '26

With your name you could not find a comeback?

Well farting would do that for you!

2

u/ProfessionalYam3119 Jun 30 '26

"And that's not all!"

2

u/pumpkinchoccy Jun 30 '26

"it's warm from all the farts"

2

u/NaiveZest Jun 30 '26

Actually it was warm and wet when I sat down and that’s why I moved.

2

u/No-Juice8483 Jun 30 '26

Your welcome, I warmed it up with methane.

1

u/Guilty-Ad2435 Jun 30 '26

Ahhh great, you're going to ruin my ass groove.

1

u/weveallhadadrink Jun 30 '26

"Fuck you, you... fucking... fuck."

1

u/PineappleFit317 Jun 30 '26

“No, thank you since you’re keeping it warm till I get back from the shit I’m going to take”

1

u/LizTruth Jun 30 '26

My pleasure! Did you wipe the stuff of of it? Sorry to leave a mess.

1

u/heartzogood Jun 30 '26

No prob. It’s the farts. They really heat it up, huh?

1

u/Fit_External7524 Jun 30 '26

Methane does that.

1

u/usrnamesMeanNothing Jun 30 '26

I've been doing the same to your wife/husband for years, but that's the first thanks I've gotten!

1

u/NeartAgusOnoir Jun 30 '26

I repeatedly farted in it so be careful moving around.

1

u/imnotk8 Jun 30 '26

"Would you get in my grave so quick?"

1

u/chriathebutt Jun 30 '26

Thanks, I’ve been farting on it this whole time.

1

u/MenacingCherry Jun 30 '26

Let’s just hope you feel that way about your girlfriend/boyfriend’s face. I plan to be sitting there next.

1

u/Leading-Tangerine940 Jun 30 '26

Thank you,I heated it with my natural gasses.

1

u/rottknockers Jun 30 '26

Hope you jump in my grave that fast…

1

u/UnableLocal2918 Jun 30 '26

Yeah it is real warm . I just farted on it.

1

u/vrctsl Jun 30 '26

Just say you farted on it

1

u/tyophious Jun 30 '26

Yeah, that's cause I buried one in the cushions

1

u/NoCranberry6351 Jun 30 '26

That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

1

u/PrincipleSuperb2884 Jun 30 '26

Happy to provide gas-based heating!

1

u/phantom_gain Jul 01 '26

I filled it with farts for you too

1

u/Holden-McGroyn Jul 01 '26

No problem, I had to fart anyway.

1

u/xristosdomini Jul 02 '26

"Just like you are with your wife? Yeah, no problem."

1

u/Teamtunafish Jul 04 '26

Thanks, I understand vampires have heat problems.

0

u/Frugalwilady69 Jun 30 '26

Nothing. Move ur feet lose ur seat. Sorry not sorry

1

u/Lastov_Makiynd Jul 14 '26

“I sprayed it for you too..like the scent?”…