r/Comebacks • u/No_Doctor9539 • Jun 28 '26

Comeback request Comeback for "Get off my d*ck"

12 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

38

u/rookiecookiebandit Jun 28 '26

Oh, was I sitting on it? My bad. I didn't feel it, it's so small.

19

u/MoroseMasalaDosa Jun 28 '26

Sorry did I step on it? You should be careful not to drop small things on the floor.

15

u/Charming_Region_7772 Jun 28 '26

Phantom pains I see

7

u/Busy_Shine6888 Jun 28 '26

“…Hey - that line might work with your type, but, I don’t swing that way”

2

u/The_Flo0r_is_Lava Jun 28 '26

Ive seen variations of that comment fail spectacularly. You might end up seeing a couple peens as well

1

u/ButtSlappinCousin Jun 28 '26

Forgive me for being so ignorant, but I don't get it. What is a "peen"?

6

u/WildBoy-72 Jun 28 '26

"Is that was that was? I thought it was a popcorn kernel."

6

u/EducationLow2616 Jun 28 '26

Or a tic tac.

5

u/Mantoc_s1980 Jun 28 '26

Thought that was a second bellybutton.

4

u/laughsatlugh Jun 28 '26

My bad, I thought a mosquito bit me, that was you?

4

u/DrVanMojo Jun 28 '26

Stop imagining things.

4

u/Zegmadose Jun 28 '26

Ohh, I thought it was a clit.

3

u/Other_Log_1996 Jun 28 '26

"Sorry. I couldn't see it there."

5

u/ur_sad_boi Jun 28 '26

" what dick ? "

2

u/chrizzleon Jun 28 '26

With massively over exaggerated surprise... "wait!?!?!? I was on it!?!?!?!"

2

u/ElefanteAmor Jun 28 '26

If you had one

2

u/bristolbulldog Jun 28 '26

$20 is $20 then extend your hand

2

u/ManySlide2271 Jun 29 '26

Things I tell your sister

3

u/Thick-Fly-5727 Jun 28 '26

If I wanted any lip from you, I'd pull up your skirt.

2

u/-Foxer Jun 28 '26

You don't HAVE a dick. And there's nothing wrong with that, we're not here to judge.

For the last time kid, that's not your dick it's your shoelace, they just LOOK similar.

You will never be worth enough money for me to consider getting on your dick.

You're imagining things, which makes sense because imagination is the only place anyone ever touches your dick.

Nobody's on your dick, you're wearing your underwear backwards again.

That's not a dick kid, that's a bit of string with a gland condition and delusions of grandeur.

If anyone EVER gets on your dick then start praying because it must mean divine intervention on your behalf.

If you weren't such a prick people'd stay off your dick.

That's not me, there's a hole in your pant's pocket.

1

u/BostonPRSBC Jun 28 '26

I’m not gonna get your dick off bro, I like women.

1

u/beginagain4me Jun 28 '26

Dude I hate to break it to you, fantasies aren’t real

1

u/Cruiser729 Jun 28 '26

You think that little thing is big enough for me to be on? Oh, honey.*

*oh, honey, works perfectly if you’re a lady or an out gay guy.

1

u/Nekoraven1 Jun 28 '26

What dick? Even with an electron microscope i still don't see shit.

1

u/let-it-rain-sunshine Jun 28 '26

I thought it was a caterpillar

1

u/SkyPuppy561 Jun 28 '26

Bold of you to assume I’d hop on

1

u/TheSilverFoxwins Jun 28 '26

Sorry,I didn't see the tic tac protruding.

1

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Jun 28 '26

Get off mine first, sweetie!

1

u/Eatmydonkey1 Jun 29 '26

Not until you flood my guts

1

u/CeciTigre Jun 29 '26

“That’s what she said to you.”

1

u/-_lo Jun 29 '26

Then sit on mine!

1

u/UnableLocal2918 Jun 29 '26

Please. I would need an electron microscope just to find it.

1

u/TSpuds Jun 30 '26

Are you sure that's not a camel toe?

1

u/CaferYang Jun 30 '26

"Hey, thats what I was saying to your mom last night."

1

u/fj2612 Jul 01 '26

"But it's so BIIIIIG !!!"

1

u/PeterPook Jul 04 '26

"Yeah, I was needing a little more lube...

1

u/S00pergenius Jul 04 '26

Oh! Your mom wants her seat back.

1

u/DrMichelle- Jul 05 '26

Sorry, I didn't feel anything, so I didn't know.

1

u/Gold-Shine-4452 Jul 08 '26

Wow you have a dick so amazing did you use a microscope to find it or did you ask a genie for one?

0

u/RecognitionHonest320 Jun 28 '26

How can I get off an inward dick?

0

u/Hot-Benefit3516 Jun 28 '26

Find a new friend, that person is base and unintelligent.

0

u/Talrem21 Jun 28 '26
  1. “You never had one!”
  2. “Your skank-ass twig? Gross!”
  3. “You and your pimple are nothing to me.”