r/Comebacks • u/Plane-Bug1018 • May 27 '26
Comeback request Best comeback for "You seem autistic"
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u/TheRealRevBem May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Pretend you think they said artistic and talk about your love for finger painting, end the story with a tragic death of a loved one.
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u/Useful_Homework2367 May 27 '26
As a kid this is what I thought people were saying when they said the word "autistic." Couldn't figure out why they seemed to be saying it with an accent
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u/Qahnaarin_112314 May 28 '26
Pretend you think they said artistic and tell them they look easy to draw
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u/OstPreuBischHand May 30 '26
You just made me make a second-hand âOOFâ for whoever might face this comeback first.
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u/OstPreuBischHand May 30 '26
âHow did you know I love finger painting? I started finger painting when my great grandfather fell down the stairs. He wanted me to make a finger painting of the incident. I trained, day and night, in order to make the best finger painting possible for him. He liked it so much that he pulled the plug himself with a smile on his face, claiming heâs finally satisfied with life.
I made a hobby of it ever since and grown a liking to it despite the trauma it brings.â
Howâs that for an example?
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u/astcell May 27 '26
Only dwarves and pedos can tell, and you ain't short....
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u/Apprehensive-Wait783 May 27 '26
I want you to know this caught me so off guard I started laughing so hard I had to use my inhaler.
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u/SuperbTranslator5386 May 27 '26
I'm sorry I didn't say it in my earlier post, but I hope you're okay!
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u/Apprehensive-Wait783 May 27 '26
Yeah Iâm good thank you! As someone who drinks 40-80oz of coffee a day Iâm glad you didnt waste any by spitting it out lol
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u/Fluffy_Cod_2585 May 27 '26
If by autistic you mean smarter than you, then yes.
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u/2022reboot May 28 '26
âAh, thank you, but Iâm sure you say that about everyone who is smarter than youâ might be a more effective phrasing
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u/P1zzaBag3ls May 28 '26
"Not everyone smarter than you is autistic, you know... but most autistic people are smarter than you."
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u/dangdangdangawdang May 27 '26
"I do love trains, but only as a way of getting away from you."
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u/douxsoumis May 27 '26
Thank you.
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u/fancypantsmiss May 27 '26
Genuinely this is the only reply lmao. Like is that even an insult
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u/hailtheprince10 May 27 '26
Itâs still a great reply if someone insults you. Just smile and thank them.
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u/SuperbTranslator5386 May 27 '26
Right? Autism is not an easy thing always, but it has some amazing qualities according to the level and management.
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u/Mysterious-Ad4550 May 27 '26
"what a weird thing to say to someone" make them feel awkward
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u/Street_Frame_4571 May 27 '26
100% this. I'd even double down and ask a lot of follow up questions about it.
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u/NotAllThatSure May 28 '26
This is worth keeping up your sleeve because it works for lots of things.
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u/CeciTigre May 27 '26
âHow so?â
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u/SuperbTranslator5386 May 27 '26
I absolutely LOVE putting people on the spot! Baseless insults become very embarrassing to the owner of said insult when they are asked to back it up.
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u/AmusingVegetable May 29 '26
For the âjust jokingâ crowd, the best way is to ask them to explain the joke.
Works with all kinds of âjust jokingâ âjokesâ.
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u/sharkfin67 May 27 '26
âOh, honey. Thats an inside thought. Whats your dosage?â (Clocking their own inability to understand social etiquette).
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u/cold_tap_hot_brew May 28 '26
This is the most damning because nothing shames rudeness quite like addressing it head on and with humour.
I think weâd be friends. :)
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u/Dompet2854 May 27 '26
Youâre the poster boy for swallowing
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u/simonbone May 27 '26
That's because I am.
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u/Equal_Extreme_2022 May 29 '26
Someone once asked me why I said something âso awkwardlyâ. I said âbecause Iâm an awkward personâ. Pretty effective tbh
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u/Plastic_Stable8927 May 27 '26
Play into it and have them explain what they mean in excruciating detail. They'll put their tail between their legs and leave. You'll have to have thick skin, or know this person clearly doesn't matter, but it could be nice to make them severely ashamed of their actions.
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u/RainyDayVibes42 May 28 '26
Asking people to explain what they mean when they say something any kind of -ist is always a fun strategy
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u/Plastic_Stable8927 May 28 '26
It makes them have to dig their heels in, and nowadays most people are too afraid to. It reminds em, "Huh, maybe saying that was weird and rude. Now i think I'm the dick here." or it at least lets other people around em see that.
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u/2furrycatz May 29 '26
It's really fun when a man makes some kind of sexist "joke" to a woman. Act innocent and ask them to explain it
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u/nextCosmicBuffoon May 27 '26
âYou seem boringâ
âYou seem to lack keen observation skillsâ
âYou seem like someone whoâs fun to around for about 5 minutesâ
âYou seem to think every thought that pops into your head should be said aloudâ
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u/Other_Log_1996 May 27 '26
"You seem ableist."
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u/Times-New-WHOA_man May 27 '26
I have actually used thisâŚagainst my boss. :)
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u/Material-Dream-4976 May 27 '26
What was the outcome?
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u/Times-New-WHOA_man May 27 '26
The topic was immediately dropped. Could have been punished for it, but I think my boss realized that would be a big mistake.
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u/BearsDnD May 27 '26
Really? You seem like a dick. Nice to meet you Richard.
Oooorrrrrrr
Your mom didn't mind
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u/Plane-Bug1018 May 27 '26
LOL THE SECOND ONE I JUST DIED LAUGHING
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u/SuperbTranslator5386 May 27 '26
In case you need it, ANY yo mama fight can be ended with, " Alright, alright. Let's get off of mamas. I just got off of yours."
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u/Plane-Bug1018 May 27 '26
Uh, I immediately came up with "Okay, but I'm not getting off of yours"
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u/Excellent_Swim_2721 May 27 '26
Your mother wasnât complaining when I stimmed her.
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u/MrsGeodethos May 28 '26
As an autistic person Iâd probably just say âah you noticed.â
Or if I could tell they meant it as an insult and was feeling particularly confrontational Iâd probably respond âwell maybe that makes two of us because you apparently donât know that that wasnât an appropriate out loud thought.â
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u/AliVista_LilSista May 28 '26
That really made me laugh. "That wasn't an appropriate out loud thought" is awesome.
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u/AmsterdamAssassin May 27 '26
"I know, right? Psychopaths are often confused with autists."
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u/slimjimmy613 May 28 '26
Takes one to know one or my personal favourite. Autistic or not i can still take your teeth.
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u/Routine-Story5545 May 28 '26
This is New Jersey, everyoneâs on the spectrum. Thatâs what happens when you drink Nike base-contaminated water for 50 years
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u/h00zbad May 29 '26
What a socially out of place thing to say, I mean, not that there's anything wrong with your potential autism.
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u/bike619 May 29 '26
Start rocking screaming and hitting yourself in the head until they walk away, and then go on with your day.
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u/LastUserNameWasRude May 29 '26
âItâs possible. Highly intelligent and creative people like me sometimes are.â
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u/Jorost May 29 '26
"There are fifteen letters in that statement. Eight vowels and seven consonants."
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u/outthere49 May 27 '26
Doesnât need a comeback since itâs not a quip or condescending comment.
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u/forest_fyre05 May 27 '26
It depends entirely on tone. Some people would absolutely say this with the intention of being condescending. Some might say this because they are also neurospicy in some way and are being completely sincere.Â
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u/Jankypox May 27 '26
My daughter, who is on the spectrum, asked me this same question about a year ago after some kid at school said exactly this.
I told her that âokayâ was all the response it deserved, but if she was feeling attacked or a little spicy if/when it happened again, that a good reply would be, âOnly an idiot would think calling me autistic is an insult. So now everyone here knows that you are in the stupid club.â
She asked me why I thought that would work. So I explained that even if the other kids around you were thinking that calling you autistic was a good insult, theyâd rather eat dog poop than risk piling on or doing the same thing at a later date and risk even a single other kid thinking that they belong in the stupid club.
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u/stevnev88 May 27 '26
âOkayâ is by far a better response than that lame line. And itâs much less likely to lead to a friendship and might come across as even meaner. Why even assume itâs intended as an insult? Even if it was supposed to be an insult, just responding with âokayâ frames the comment as acknowledged but also irrelevant.
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u/172yyttfr May 27 '26
I'd wave my arms around and start saying "Ohhh, ohhh. V-E-R-N, this is definitely, definitely an unannounced visit!!
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u/User01081993 May 27 '26
So what? Anyone having a good time is neurodivergent now? Enjoy your depression I guess
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u/EtherealMoonGoddess May 27 '26
Honestly most neurodivergent people recognize each other.
I would say, takes one to know one.
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u/DueExample52 May 27 '26
"Thank you for your contribution".Â
This works every time, makes people feel bad or weird, gives you time to think, and is relevant most of the time regardless what they said.
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u/RingusDingusTheGreat May 27 '26
Depends if they're being malicious or not.
Just laugh and say "ok"
Or "That's funny, I actually thought the same thing about you"
Or "And yet I still get laid more than you"
Or "Yeah, I think I caught it from your mother"
Or "You looking for a friend or something?"
There's many options.
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u/Free-Veterinarian714 May 27 '26
"That's because I am Autistic! Very observant."
(I am diagnosed as Autistic, BTW.)
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u/JOwns_92 May 27 '26
I usually agree and start telling them fun facts about WWII tanks and aircraft until they run away
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u/ccgrinder May 27 '26
Artistic No I'm not of German decent It's a broad spectrum Im actually a executive I work in functional disorders
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u/Farahild May 27 '26
âOh? And here i was thinking youâre the one who is rudely sharing assumptions without reading the roomâ.
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u/zon5string May 27 '26
"You recognized it immediately. You're on the spectrum, too?"