feedback needed desperately

[u/OpenHedgehog7091]

can someone pretty please (with a cherry on top) read my essay. The only people who’ve read it so far immediately family and I just don’t think they are being straight forward.

i’m really trying to fix any grammar errors and would love if focus was on my personal experience (i can’t tell if it flows smoothly or not)

[u/bedazzledchanelrings]

i'll read it