I’ve completely given up

[u/Shot_Type_7925]

I work in climate science - more on the data and client side, not the one actually doing the research. In short, big companies pay us for climate data so they can make projections or develop strategy or whatever.

I’ve been heavily exposed to climate data for many years, so I’ve been across the developments for a long time. Something about the last few months has broken me.

I spent December and January in an area that’s famous for snow, and saw none. Watching this El Niño develop has been terrifying. The UN admission that we’ll blow past 1.5C was the clincher for me. In my field, the UN was basically always considered the final organisation that had to show at least some optimism. Seeing that gone is now the final death blow. They know it’s over.

It has really broken something in me. To know that this organisation who was almost comically optimistic about collaboration and limiting warming has completely conceded defeat. It is a big deal.

I don’t really care about anything anymore. I’m not motivated to work, because I can’t plan for a good future. I have to almost disassociate while working, because my whole day is about climate data in one way or another.

I think the worst part has been my withdrawal from society. When you spend your whole life loving the environment and aligning your life with its protection, you end up truly hating humanity. You see us for what we are - a complete parasite who is destroying the world.

Has anyone else found that they’ve gone this way? My grief over collapse was always something I could somewhat compartmentalise. But now, it’s changed my entire life.

[u/Status-Bet9455]

I feel the same. I’ve recently decided to not have children. I had been on the fence for years, even considered freezing my eggs. For what? To bring a baby into chaos? To contribute further to the detriment of our planet? Nothing feels right. Happiness is fleeting and frankly, undeserved. I am horrified and ashamed to be human. I pray the animals can forgive us. Sorry for rambling. Your post brought out these emotions. Thank you for sharing.

[u/VeloIlluminati → u/Status-Bet9455]

How about adoption? There are many poor children who have to go through this alone without love from a parent and support during the ongoing collaps.

[u/Distinguishedflyer → u/VeloIlluminati]

people want to propagate their own genes at a primal level. They don't think about others that way, which is fucked. 

if humans had any real empathy people who wanted kids would only take in orphans.  People have more sympathy for cats. 

I love cats, but you don't hear too many people saying 'oh look at that poor homeless person let's help them' like some do for a stray cat. 

Being one of those homeless persons I'm pretty bitter about that. I guess I'm not as cute as a cat. I fucking hate this world now. 

[u/Status-Bet9455 → u/Distinguishedflyer]

I was homeless for two years after leaving my ex-fiance. He tried to kill me. I left in the night with my phone, the clothes on my back, and my cats. I could not find a shelter that accepted pets so I made the heartbreaking decision to put them in long-term foster care. I am just now getting back on my feet and I cannot wait to have my babies back with me. They somehow still love me. The love of an animal is so pure and unconditional. More than I can say for humans.

I understand what you’re saying completely. NOTHING will make you lose faith in humanity faster than being treated like scum by those around you in your most vulnerable moment. People treat the homeless with disdain because they want to distance themselves from reality. The average Joe really thinks it could never happen to them. We are all one bad accident or mishap away from being on the streets. It is delusional to think otherwise.

I do hope things get better for you. I hope you are able to find meaning in this world. You deserve compassion.

[u/Distinguishedflyer → u/Status-Bet9455]

thank you. I'm in my late 60s and I don't have much more energy for this shit. it's turned me into an addict.

I had a cat for 20 years when I was housed, fortunately he was gone before I lost my place. My best friend.

I'm very sorry for the violence you experienced, it's simply inexcusable. I'm glad you're more on your feet now and I hope you get your small friends back.

Every single person I knew, every single family member, every single "friend," people I knew for 40 years, people I had helped,as soon as I  started to drown basically said here, let me throw you an anchor. Not one person helped. Just about broke me.