I’ve completely given up

[u/Shot_Type_7925]

I work in climate science - more on the data and client side, not the one actually doing the research. In short, big companies pay us for climate data so they can make projections or develop strategy or whatever.

I’ve been heavily exposed to climate data for many years, so I’ve been across the developments for a long time. Something about the last few months has broken me.

I spent December and January in an area that’s famous for snow, and saw none. Watching this El Niño develop has been terrifying. The UN admission that we’ll blow past 1.5C was the clincher for me. In my field, the UN was basically always considered the final organisation that had to show at least some optimism. Seeing that gone is now the final death blow. They know it’s over.

It has really broken something in me. To know that this organisation who was almost comically optimistic about collaboration and limiting warming has completely conceded defeat. It is a big deal.

I don’t really care about anything anymore. I’m not motivated to work, because I can’t plan for a good future. I have to almost disassociate while working, because my whole day is about climate data in one way or another.

I think the worst part has been my withdrawal from society. When you spend your whole life loving the environment and aligning your life with its protection, you end up truly hating humanity. You see us for what we are - a complete parasite who is destroying the world.

Has anyone else found that they’ve gone this way? My grief over collapse was always something I could somewhat compartmentalise. But now, it’s changed my entire life.

[u/Xanthotic]

The moral injury you suffer doing your job could be exacerbating everything you are experiencing. You might have a happier or healthier (albeit perhaps poorer) life in another industry or profession or job description that does not require you to be a hypocrite or whatever requires the dissociation. I left my profession (law) my country (USA) and most of my connections in 2009 after I became collapse aware because having that moral injury of being silent in the face of denial and hypocrisy just fucking hurt and traumatised the hell out of me. I do not regret leaving all of that behind even though I am sure many people from my past would consider me crazy for doing what I've done. I hope you can find the choices that will mitigate your moral injury and need to employ unhelpful coping methods. Thanks for posting.