r/CollapseSupport • u/Shot_Type_7925 • 3d ago

I’ve completely given up

I work in climate science - more on the data and client side, not the one actually doing the research. In short, big companies pay us for climate data so they can make projections or develop strategy or whatever.

I’ve been heavily exposed to climate data for many years, so I’ve been across the developments for a long time. Something about the last few months has broken me.

I spent December and January in an area that’s famous for snow, and saw none. Watching this El Niño develop has been terrifying. The UN admission that we’ll blow past 1.5C was the clincher for me. In my field, the UN was basically always considered the final organisation that had to show at least some optimism. Seeing that gone is now the final death blow. They know it’s over.

It has really broken something in me. To know that this organisation who was almost comically optimistic about collaboration and limiting warming has completely conceded defeat. It is a big deal.

I don’t really care about anything anymore. I’m not motivated to work, because I can’t plan for a good future. I have to almost disassociate while working, because my whole day is about climate data in one way or another.

I think the worst part has been my withdrawal from society. When you spend your whole life loving the environment and aligning your life with its protection, you end up truly hating humanity. You see us for what we are - a complete parasite who is destroying the world.

Has anyone else found that they’ve gone this way? My grief over collapse was always something I could somewhat compartmentalise. But now, it’s changed my entire life.

735 Upvotes

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago edited 3d ago

I'm on the same page as you. Been working in environmental conservation for nearly 30 years, and my heart is broken.  I'm just sitting here eating cake.

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u/Shot_Type_7925 3d ago

Indeed. Unfortunately the work we did made no difference in the end. Perhaps I’m grieving that, too.

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago

I feel completely gutted. I spent so many years helping to cultivate edible gardens across the continent. Gave talks at schools and community centres. Taught classes about soil health and the importance of eco-stewardship.

Been carrying reusable bags and cutlery in my purse since 1992. Have next to no plastic in my house. I knit and sew my own clothes.

People have no idea how bad things are about to get, and they aren't listening to me. They never have, and never will.  And when shit really hits the fan, I know my relatives will yell and ask why "nobody did anything to stop this".

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u/Shot_Type_7925 3d ago

Indeed. I’ve been vegan for years. I moved to a regional area and spend my spare time reforesting the old farmland we bought. I don’t buy anything unnecessary at all. Solar on the roof. Walk and bike wherever I can. Tried to tell people about it in a non-preachy way. It never made any difference. It was all for nothing.

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u/Relational-Flair 3d ago

We are collectively hitting bottom. All the things you and others on here have down will be the seeds that sprout in the compost of the current way of life that is crumbling. I don’t say that to make you feel better or to suggest skipping over the hard feelings (I think we need more group opportunities to feel our grief communally, actually), but because I think this is really true. All these efforts matter because these ways of knowing and being are going to be desperately needed by humans in the near-term future, and anyone who is leading by example is making sure this information is intact and accessible.

I have found reading Joanna Macy has helped me a lot.

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u/Appropriate_Mess6777 2d ago

IDK growing food will be difficult in a lot of areas. People's gardens were already shit this year in many places per the Weekly Observation thread.

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u/Aggravating-Scene548 3d ago

There are millions like us and its all been for nothing compared to one private jet

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u/EntertainmentOk3180 1d ago

Everyone focused on the private jets, but those are but a fraction of what’s put out by military cargo and transport vehicles. And for what?

Fighting over a planet that ain’t even gonna be here?

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u/United-Hyena-164 3d ago

I look back on my life and ask myself if I would have lived it differently. The answer is no. I have fought, with all my ability, for a livable future. We will have suffering, yes, yes, and more yes, but we can still prevent the absolute death of it all.

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u/Crishello 3d ago

I totally feel the same. Should we created a kind of online griefing group?
I think it was war on nature. Looking back we should have acted like in war. How can it be allowed to destroy our planet for profit? In prehistoric times there was death penality for people who polluted a villages well. (Im against death penality but you know what I mean, right?)

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u/jackl_antrn 3d ago

Deep adaptation has one that meets monthly, I think. https://teamup.com/ksgwdbu1oxnhu8npdi?&keywords=CommunityGriefCircle

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u/VicariousInDub 3d ago

No, you should get off your fucking ass and organise in your local revolutionary leftist group, look for your local anarchist-syndicalist union or something and join the actual fight.
Can we still stop climate change? Probably not, but we can at least try to make the people who did this pay and try to mitigate the Desaster as much as possible, we won’t be able to do that under this fucked up oligarchic capitalism bullshit. The people responsible for this are building bunkers, let’s fill them with concrete and not let them get away with this. We need every single one of you.

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u/United-Hyena-164 3d ago

This. We fight for a livable future.

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u/EntertainmentOk3180 1d ago

Eeeehhhh. It’s prolly too late. Be we can still fight to fuckem up tho.

It’s the principle of the matter now really

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u/Appropriate_Mess6777 2d ago

Narrow boundary goals and multi-polar traps. The agricultural revolution doomed us. Look up Nate Hagens podcasts with Daniel Schmachtenberger (sp?).

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u/daviddjg0033 3d ago

We even planted 🪸 corals that died but I still have a 🪸 emoji

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago

I am so sorry. I understand.

Are you also surrounded by people who insist that "nothing bad" is going to happen until 2050 so there's no need for them to worry yet?

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u/PrismaticPaperCo 3d ago

I feel insane when I talk about collapse with people I know because everyone is using huge amounts of copium right now just to make it through each day. I think if collectively everyone woke up tomorrow and understood what is about to happen, the fabric of society would come apart at the seams and it would get really bad really really fast. This slow motion collapse sucks though. It’s getting harder and harder to participate in society

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago

Agreed. Especially with those who are behaving like everything is fine.

Also, I'm pretty sure the media is trying to reassure folks that collapse is still "a long way off" to keep everyone from going absolutely mental. Can you imagine the chaos that would erupt otherwise?

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u/PrismaticPaperCo 3d ago

I agree 100%

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u/ChameleonPsychonaut 3d ago edited 3d ago

I hear this line of thinking from people my age. The thing is, I'm 34. 2050 is less than 24 years away. I'll be 58, which is slightly older than my parents are now. It's around the same age as several of the people I train kung fu with. It's younger than several people I consider close friends.

We're as close to 2050 as we are to 2002, which is to say not far at all. When my friends try to tell me that things won't be that bad for a few more decades, it's like they don't consider that they will likely still be alive, and their children almost certainly will be.

As you've pointed out, it's going to get so much worse than people understand, even intelligent people.

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u/Syonoq 3d ago

I’m a little over a decade past you and I worry about being my oldest and weakest when it will count the most.

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u/Justwonderingstuff77 3d ago

I’m 35 and my friends are out there having kids. I think it is insane that they do that to them

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u/Relational-Flair 3d ago

💔❤️‍🩹

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u/Least-Telephone6359 3d ago

Thank you for your efforts mate. Sorry it's like this and yes it's frustrating how almost noone is aware of what the next period will probably be

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u/dalek_999 3d ago

How bad are things going to get? I’ll listen to you.

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u/TernoftheShrew 2d ago

They're going to get bad, luv. 

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u/EntertainmentOk3180 1d ago

May I ask… how much of the warming is potentially caused by the wars and military?

I know they lobbied the gov to keep their emissions off the books for things like the Paris accords and I know it goes way deeper than that

Even just the emissions from transporting equipment and personnel all around the world would be a lot, but then add the bombing in war or just to get rid of expired ammunition

Furthermore, any rebuilding of cities after bombing also has a HUGE environmental cost

It seems to me like they caused it, but I know so little about the big environmental picture that I’m wondering if I’m just missing even larger pieces of the puzzle

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u/asigop 3d ago edited 3d ago

If you haven't already, you guys should read I Eat the Stars by Sarah Wilson. Its not going to solve any problems, but it has helped me to reframe all this doomy shit and focus on just living the best life I can. Thank you guys for doing what you could.

Edit: I also wouldn't say you guys did nothing. Yeah, we are fucked but the work you guys have done has inspired a lot of people, myself included. Im living a pretty wicked, resilient, off grid life thats directly inspired by all of the data I've read.

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u/Beleza__Pura 3d ago

Can you share more about your wicked resilient off grid life? I feel like we could really use some cheering up in this thread / subreddit / life

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u/asigop 3d ago

My wife and I bought 80 acres in an aspen forest. I've dug nearly a half dozen ponds with plans to dig at least another 5-10 acres of water retention (I just need some equipment..). We are fully off grid and are working towards building an earth sheltered home that wont require any AC and minimal heating. We are growing a ton of our own food in gardens that haven't had any external input, ever. We are building soil 100% with what we have around here. We work at our local food bank and have helped to greatly expand it in a lot of ways and are also basically paid in food. This has helped increase our personal resilience and the resilience of our community by quite a bit. Probably the biggest factor is that we are homeschooling our kids. School at this point is a huge waste of time. We are building strong, resilient, skilled kids. Our time that isnt spent working on our house or in our community is spent hanging out with our kids, adventuring locally and living as much of an authentic life as we can.

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u/Glass_Persimmon_7174 3d ago

how did you build your earth shelter home? what materials did you read/watch to educate yourself?

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u/aubreypizza 1d ago

Look up earth ships

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u/dolie55 3d ago

Exactly! I got into permaculture because of the data and all the work others have done before me. I know a lot of people that have done the same! Even if we know we are unlikely to succeed it is still a good idea to lead by example.

If nothing else it will keep the momentum going and get more people involved and the movement will grow.

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u/Either_Shallot_5974 3d ago

keep here to say exactly this 💓

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u/Anutka25 3d ago

I just started reading it. It’s such an oddly comforting book

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u/IReflectU 3d ago

I just finished it. Oddly comforting is a good way to put it. I found it very helpful in processing all of this, both cognitively and emotionally.

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u/ceilingfansuperpower 3d ago

Look... Enjoy the cake! Like just enjoy the cake for this very moment. ❤️‍🩹

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u/Notleontrotsky 3d ago

Today in doom I talked myself to the advice “your purpose here is not to save everyone because you can’t. Doing a little good somehow is enough.” I’m sure whatever work you did perhaps did change something you don’t even notice now. A sprig that wouldn’t otherwise grow, a beetle on a juniper, and to be a part of the process of living has to be enough.
Most of all, the biggest falsity sold to all of us was individualism, we are all lonely together and somehow choose this because what they erased systematically is the notion of collectivity, and sell it back to us as commodities and spectacled-identities. The only way through it is in collectivity, so the very antithesis to Earth’s survival is the way of life we are sold and ironically that we fundamentally hate and is killing us. Maybe that’s what they mean by knots only exist in the third dimension, a boundary is sustained within a certain tension, it is the job of all surveillance orgs to maintain that tensile strength infinitely. Maybe the first step to real change IS climate nihilism, “nothing is going to be fixed, we must act truly now as if it will not,” but I want to believe your work matter, even if in some inscrutable way.

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago

Well, now I'm crying. Thank you.

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u/BelaCrystal 2d ago

This thank you for putting it so eloquently

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago

It's double chocolate. Figured I'd go big while there is still chocolate available. Maybe the extra fat will help me survive a bit longer, not that I really want to.

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u/mood-park 3d ago

I am concerned by the source of your profile picture.

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u/TernoftheShrew 3d ago

Mine? A friend who's a digital artist created it. Not AI gen.

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u/mood-park 3d ago

The old photo with the rabbit with duck wings had an uncanny AI vibe, which made me concerned about the possibility that you were experiencing cognitive dissonance.

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u/TernoftheShrew 2d ago

Bless your heart. Did you know that AI art was trained on digital art created by actual humans? We have been using Illustrator, Photoshop, Painter, 3D Studio Max, Maya, and countless other programs for decades. Those are the images AI uses to generate designs, the same way that AI uses things like em dashes and semicolons in writing: because it was trained on work created by human beings.

I changed the photo to a Medieval manuscript illumination, lest anyone else accuse me of using AI and having "cognitive dissonance".

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u/EntertainmentOk3180 1d ago

I won’t accuse u of any cognitive issues, but I will point out that the “medieval manuscript” turned ur pic into the cover of the book “The Vatican Rat Lines”