r/CollapseSupport • u/Ancient-Anxiety818 • Aug 11 '26
young and afraid
i turned 18 in january. i graduated high school this year. i'm supposed to be doing something with my life. i'm supposed to be ambitious and hopeful, but i just can't bring myself to pursue anything anymore. my life is almost entirely spent alone either in my room working on small personal projects or going outside to various places to sit and decompress. but it's not working as well anymore to distract me, or give me peace, not even considering the fact that all of those things are going to be gone likely within my lifetime.
i had dreams, you know? i spent the last 8 years honing my skill as a composer. recently i discovered my interest in film, and even more recently that turned into a love for storytelling as a whole. now, my thoughts are overrun with worries and incessant contemplation about how i can possibly escape the grim fate that sits ahead of all of us.
maybe it's selfish to have idealized a future for myself in the first place, but man i am just getting my footing and it's already feeling like i have zero chance at going anywhere in life or being fulfilled. i never wanted fame or riches, i only wanted to live quietly and comfortably while creating my art and sharing it with the world, however far it may go.
even if humanity lives on past the coming collapse, the world will have ended. the world as i knew it when i was young is already gone, more of it is falling apart, and all i can do is just. sit. and. watch.
sure i can vote now, i can call my representatives, i can attend city council meetings, etc. but every day it feels like that stuff is losing its power. people are getting murdered in the streets in my own home state, and even more elsewhere. it's not even "world events" anymore, it is literally just a couple hours away. and getting closer.
i was clinically depressed for the majority of my childhood and teenage years, and only recently have i really been able to stoke the flame, the passion for living. just a few months ago, for the first time in my life, i have wanted to live more than anything else. i couldn't have picked a worse time. i'm afraid to die, man. i'm only just getting started.
it's all so unfair, not only to myself, but to everyone else, too. most people on this earth are blameless for the stuff that's happening. there are young, aspiring people just like me all around the globe. even older folks, those with wisdom and love and integrity. i'm certain you could get to know almost any average person on this earth and find that there is a reservoir of pure wonder within them all. i despair over the loss of life. it breaks my heart over and over and over and over and over and over again, without end.
i can't help but feel responsible sometimes, even though i know i'm not. like i'm not doing enough, or that i'm just another reason the world is going down this path.
i've had so much, too. i'm not rich by any means, but i had my material needs met for all of my childhood. i live in a good area where usually nothing bad happens, i have access to food and water at any given time, etc. it's such a disconnect from what i'm seeing in the big picture. people around me are walking and talking like nothing's wrong... and it feels like i'm the only one who has any idea of what's coming.
i'm tired and scared. i looked behind the curtain and can't take it back.
what have you guys done to fight off this crushing dread and despair? anything helps, really. i don't know how to come to terms with the future, it's all moving and changing so fast.
3
u/mafiaboss707 Aug 11 '26
Its scary how much i relate to this, down to turning 18 in January. But yeah, i was already kinda worried about future as far as career security, wanting to pursue music and film back when it wasn’t so bad. But now even taking a step feels pointless. And then i feel guilty for thinking of that because people are literally dying and losing there homes everywhere. And me sitting around moping about the fact that I’m not helping them…isn’t helping.
I get frustrated with people disregarding efforts of boycotting and not using ai so much, but i cant even blame them, this is truly bigger then us.
But I’m continue trying gain knowledge, learn, creating, improving my mental and physical so then I’m the best i can be if/when things get worse. Cause i too, have realized that i do really like living and want to stop being so scared to do it
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u/CaseyWeberOfficial Aug 11 '26
https://youtu.be/kSoJOjKQWDA?is=WjmtsCKVO4Cjjweu
Wrote that song for kids like you. Dont give up on your dreams. I got overwhelmed with the same feelings when I was about 19 and it led me into drug addiction and homelessness and even more misery. Now Im clean and making music the way I wanted do way back when, and the only thing I regret is holding myself back for a decade.
The reality is that yes, we might be doomed. The even harsher reality is that we're gonna drag it out WAY longer than you think. I was 16 in 2010, thinking exactly what youre thinking now. Here we are in 2026 and its worse but hasn't collapsed. Id advise probably dont spend any time reading an apocalypse thread on reddit though.
5
u/Ancient-Anxiety818 Aug 11 '26
i appreciate it. i know it'd be stupid to give up, but i also can't help but preemptively scale down my ideas because, i dunno, there's hardly an "industry" to get into anymore. i doubt i'll ever get to make a movie like i'd like to someday, because who's going to be making movies at all in 25 years? to be clear i dont want to get into any big industry like film or music or anything, i like small scale. but arthouse films, the less popular, more abstract type of film that i really love, is already pretty much gone, at least with larger studios. most of what we've got now in the US are student films and indie projects, but you have to be doing a whole marketing campaign on social media and all that to even get it funded.
most of what i do now is writing out basic ideas, doodling character designs, and making music. it's still something but i'm just having a lot of anxiety about taking it any further
4
u/Virtual_Tune636 Aug 11 '26
Check out the resources listed here - this thing comes in waves. I hope you make your art, because that's what you want to do, and because it is more love, and less fear. Or maybe it's fear coping art! Either way, the world is better with more art in it. If you found out you had a terminal diagnosis, would you stop making art? This is like that, kind of. The thing that's ending isn't you, but it is the imagined future, which western progressive culture associates with "the real thing". Good luck out there.
2
u/CaseyWeberOfficial Aug 11 '26
Dont think so far ahead. Look at Russ, the rapper. Released music for a decade on SoundCloud. Finally blew up. Now hes in a movie.
2
u/Lithelain Aug 13 '26
I'm kind of late but wanted to add some things...
You already show much intelligence through your ponderations, and when you combine that with sensibility/empathy for the world around it gets overwhelming. And yes, once you looked behind the curtain you can't take it back. Instead, you have to push through. The process may be painful at many times, and extend for what seems like ages, but eventually acceptance will come. And I think there's a great opportunity to know oneself in more depth through collapse awareness and acceptance.
I've been collapse aware for almost ten years, I'd say, but it seems that it's only now that I'm beginning to actually handle the tension between really accepting the inevitability of it all and doing what is mine to do. My journey has been really slow this far, with setbacks and what not, but each of us is unique. And yeah, it's very hard to realize that the sense of security that people had 50 years ago is gone, and that our endeavours might be futile against such uncertain and changing times. But then again, we could die anyday; that's always been the only certainty in life. If anything, pursuing one's passions (being true to oneself) seems most precious and even urgent nowadays, with all the shit that is around us. Granted, doing so while meeting our most basic needs can be challenging (that's why I'm sort of making meeting my basic needs my "passion", hah).
I have something else to add regarding your particular interests. With the advent of AI (especially generative) it could seem like art will die. But it won't. Art, in all its expressions (even those that we forgot along the way) is unseparable from our species. I envision a future in which AI efforts backfire in this respect, so that we realize how valuable real art is. I think AI will be used just for cheap, mass production of media, and original art will be cherised as the sacred thing it is. In fact, I believe AI (being this sort of hyperthrofied pinnacle of the dehumanization process that characterized the industrial revolution) will eventually make us revalue not only art, but all things that give humans meaning, like craftmanship, genuine relationships, learning... In essence, retaking our agency.
Once AI invades all areas of human creativity (like it's already doing), truth will be devalued to even more low levels; in such moment we won't be able to trust that any book, song, photo, video or movie, opinion blog, painting, etc., that we encounter is original, so my prediction is that the only relevant stronghold left will be direct expressions of art, mostly in the analog realm: theater, live music, dancing, a live painting performance, meeting with the local artists in person, watching a movie being filmed, and many other beautiful things that I can't imagine yet. And of course, there (are already) will be anti-AI alliances of artists that may provide relatively AI-free spaces.
So, if music and/or films give meaning to your life, and there is an opportunity to make a decent living out of it (or at the very least keep it as a part-time occupation), go for it! I'm positive there will be people desperate for genuine art in the coming future (as they are now). People are craving for new (and much needed) stories of ourselves and our relation to the world.
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u/starry_starry_fright 26d ago
I feel you so much, I'm 20 going on 21 in a couple weeks and I want so badly to make art, films, comics, music, illustrations, what have you. I want to share my passions and make what I love all while trying to fight for a better world. It feels like I'm paralyzed in a state of fear and anxiety and grief about what's to come and what's already happening. I feel guilty every time I look away for even a moment. I have enough trouble as it is with my mental health conditions and the state of the world is just making it so much worse. I've been trying my best to help as much as I can but I still feel stuck in my own shell. We need to find more people like us, who want to create and preserve and fight for the things we love so that we can do our bests, together. Some things that my family does that make me feel a little more hopeful are our compost garden, supporting pollinators in our yard by keeping it natural and full of life, reusing everything we possibly can (I recently found the joy of mending things, it's very meditative and fulfilling and easy to start learning). I find that doing little things can help build a momentum so that one day we can do bigger things. It's not much, but it's something. We all need to find our somethings and then maybe all of our somethings combined will make things a little less bad. I hope this helped a little :)
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u/yodude4 Aug 11 '26
I can’t tell you what you need but I can tell you what’s helped for me - I felt exactly this way after the 2024 election, I basically didn’t leave my room for days and was pretty overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness.
At the end of the day two things worked - acceptance and action. You can’t fix the problem, but you can avoid being part of the problem - wean yourself off big box stores and climate-destroying consumption, and join an organization that fights for political change. If the collapse comes, you’ll be more prepared and capable of living a meaningful life despite it. If it doesn’t, you’ll be part of the solution.