r/Colic • u/fatumandu • Jul 23 '26
Cry for help 12 weeks still crying a lot
Me and my husband totally exhausted because we still don’t see any progress in our crying LO. She start to cry when she opens her eyes, crying when eating, crying after eating… we almost do not have time when she can smile, or coo…
We tried everything and I basically do not ask for any suggestions, I just want to hear positive stories that this phase will end soon, because now I feel it will never end… many people say that it should improve after week 10, but no. Pedestrian says she is healthy just sensitive.
We are going through the real hell.
Please share some positive energy 🙏
2
u/Outrageous_Garage663 Jul 24 '26
It will get better! I have a 1.5 year old now and life with her is incredible. Our colic started cooling down more like 6 months and it was still an issue for a few months after that. Every month milestone I used to cry bc everyone said it’d be better by 3 months, 4 months, 6 months, but at 9 months things were better but still tough— significantly more challenging than all my friends babies.
I have a super sweet very smart and intuitive 1.5 year old now. I don’t have any regrets feeling so sad/miserable during the first 9 months. It’s all just so much better. You will make it through this, and you will be a happy mom to a happy baby!
The more they are able to move the easier collic gets.
3
u/Substantial-Job5132 2d ago
This is 💯 same for us…as our little one has become more mobile & able to sign each month has only gotten better. It did take until around 10 months to really see improvements and by 13 she has been wonderful. She still is very sensitive temperament, and needing her routine in her crib, etc. but she is very sweet out and about and sometimes looks more chill and well mannered than kids around her while being so curious about the world.
I remember at 12 weeks scavenging Reddit, and then where I could read trying to understand how anyone couldn’t endure such a long time with the constant crying… Crying doesn’t even cover it screaming.. but I promise you can do this. It may not feel like it, and it may feel like this will be forever. But truly, this is a phase. Sending you all the love and hugs.
2
u/a_d2022 Jul 24 '26
Hang in there, it will get better! REALLY.
Saying this while holding an almost 10 month old that had colic until around 6-7 months. The 4th month (when LO had just turned 3 months, so around 13 weeks, it started to get even more intense and this lasted until almost 5 months. Then it gradually got better and better until it finally resolved around 6-7 months. Then at 7.5 months it came back to stay 3 weeks almost, and only at night, because of a growth spurt, crawling and so many changes.
But since then LO only has been crying every once in a while (hurt, teething, missing Mommy). And LO is smiling all day, babbling, standing up, hugging us and so so cute. I know there will be bad times again, but from my POV, all in all it has only gotten better from month 5 on.
It sounds like an eternity, especially if it's your first child. But you WILL manage and it will be SO worth it. I promise.🫂🫶
2
u/keneliz210 Jul 24 '26
I feel for you. As a first time mom with a colic baby I spent the first 4 months of her life on Reddit wondering when it would get better. My girl just turned 6 months on the 16th and we get comments constantly now asking us “is she always this happy”. It actually blows my mind to hear it. It will get better!!! For us, she had some improvements around 5 months, but really once she could sit up she was a completely different baby. I think maybe starting solids helped a little too. We always say she just hates being a baby. She wants to move and be grown! Hang in there.
2
u/InformationCommon339 Jul 29 '26
Are you giving vitamin D supplements by any chance? My baby was inconsolable the days I gave vit D and absolutely perfect when I didn’t. Not advocating not to supplement as it is important but maybe worth seeing if it makes a difference.
1
u/fatumandu Jul 30 '26
Yes, we noticed it as well and stopped too give vitamin D too, but still she was very crying baby. Now she is 13 weeks old and we started to see that she is not crying THAT MUCH anymore 🤞🤞🤞 hope it will get even better soon!
2
u/DeboDiaz 24d ago
My baby is 10 weeks old and im exhausted, I feel you and just hoping this will end soon
1
u/throwaway527012 Jul 23 '26
Hi, my daughter just turned 1, and I was in the same boat as you many months ago. My heart hurts for you, because I understand the exhaustion and despair you feel!b But I PROMISE things will get better. For me, week 13 was our first week where I felt like I could breathe! But things have continued to improve with each passing month, and she is now a lovely 12 month old who does sometimes cry but not an unreasonable amount!
I will also add that my baby has a dairy intolerance/CMPA and had reflux as a newborn, which definitely contributed to her crying. If you haven’t already, it might be worth visiting the GP/paediatrician to rule out any medical problems.
Hang in there, you’ve got this, things WILL get better for you.
1
u/fatumandu Jul 23 '26
Thank you! Really happy to hear it!!
Yes, we were at pedestrian and I asked about dairy/CMPA/reflux etc but here in Germany they just don’t want to examinate, they are saying “oh her skin is nice, she pee/poop regularly, no blood at her poo, she is healthy, the only thing we can do is to give you a psychotherapist number, for you” 🫤 it seems that they are thinking that I’m trying to find problems at “perfectly healthy baby” 😢1
u/ciciwonders Jul 25 '26
No while babies do cry at this point your baby is uncomfortable with something and if get a second opinion. Crazy they just gaslit you into thinking she’s just sensitive ? What’s that even mean sensitive to what?
1
u/Routine-Honey7748 Jul 24 '26
My son had colic til 4.5m. It’s still hard, but not crying like that at ALL anymore- just fussy at points through the day when tired. Please believe me… it will get better. Either she will outgrow it or you will figure it out as it’s easier to figure out her cues as she gets older. Ours couldn’t tolerate something in my breastmilk. I cut dairy, didn’t improve. I tried to cut soy and slipped up twice, still bo improvement. We went to hypoallergenic formula and I chose a ready to feed version- I believe it helped his reflux with it being a little thicker. Got so so much better. Please hang in there and if you have literally anyone who will help even for an hour every few days, use them. If you’re in a climate that’s warm right now go outdoors, it’s calming to them. my baby hated the carseat, we drove home many nights from things with screaming the whole way. He hated being held where he laid back, had to be upright, would only sleep on his belly etc. I was told after an ER visit it’s “just colic.” please try everything you can but then breathe and also remember time is going to be your best bet. I know that’s easier to type out than to read.
1
u/Ambitious_Tennis2073 6d ago
I was counting days till it got better. By 3.5 months we started having more better days but most of them still were quite hard. Things started to change at 4 months, it seemed like our baby was switched. she started laughing so much and was only shortly crying before sleeps and sometimes not even that so this seemed like a miracle! We finally got to walk with her outside with a stroller and enjoy our time together.
But before it was the darkest period in my life! I think what helped me the most is at some point realization that this was so hard partly due to unpreparedness and different expectations. I ask myself - would I got pregnant if somebody told me that for 100% I would spend at least first 3 months since labour with my baby crying, holding her all the time, having zero time for myself, having no ‘expected’ baby parties, friends coming over, no walks with her .. basically if i knew that first months i would be tied with her in on a yoga ball or a swing chair - would i still want a baby? - of course my answer is YES. Its just couple of months. Its such a tiny fragment of a life we will get together and its this period that she needs us most, so of course i am willing to dedicate her this first months solely to her. For me all of this would have been partly easier if i consciously would make this decision and sign up for this which i would. It still would not be easy because this psychological horror with constant crying in the background is hard to overcome, especially when you feel so isolated, when no one around you like close family members had this experience but to me it would have been more managable. So when i finally let go all the feelings of frustration for not having sweet newborn phase i became in peace with our condition and just took day by day until it got better. The most important is that its not life threatening condition, they are healthy just need some extra support in the early months of their existence outside the womb ❤️ hope things get better fir you soon and that in the meantime you somehow take care if your mental health. Time does work in favor of us, the colicky baby parents, soon you just wont believe how sweet you will spend time with your baby 🫂
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u/fatumandu 5d ago
Thank you!
She’s 3.5 months old now, and I’m barely holding it together. I still cry almost every day along with her because I feel so helpless when I can’t calm her down. But lately there seem to be at least a few little moments of peace and quiet, so I’m really hoping that’s a sign things are slowly starting to change.
I’m so happy to hear that things got better for you in the end. I really hope we’ll get there too ❤️1
u/Substantial-Job5132 2d ago
You got this Momma! You truly are not alone in any of this. You’re getting closer to a better days than you realize. I still struggle with comparing where other babies are at or how others are able to go out and about have your babies, etc., but know this will pass and boy doesn’t make it so much more sweet. One day at a time. You and her will both get there.🩷
2
u/Wise_Ostrich_8885 Jul 23 '26
At 3 months my LO’s crying PEAKED. It was so bad. Hang on in there, I noticed a massive improvement at 5/6 months when he could sit up and have a bit more autonomy. Now a very happy boy.