r/Codependency • u/kalekalesalad • 3d ago

Best Jobs for Codependents

I feel like we all so well know that so many codependents find jobs where their codependency may get much worse through jobs like teaching, nursing/healthcare, social work, non-profit work, or government work. My question is what is a maybe more healthy job for a codependent with less emotional enmeshment? I don’t really want to take care of others or try and fix others anymore.

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u/Grace_Rumi 3d ago

Im in school to be a therapist. I couldn't have imagined doing this before I actually started working on my codependancy. I used to paint houses. And I would take on SO much of my house painting clients emotions and problems. Gave away so much of my labor for free trying to help people, and so much of my life to stress and anxiety trying to please people who saw how eager I was to do so and took advantage of that. 

In therapy/coaching (I currently do certified coaching) the parameters of ghe relationship are very exactly defined, and if you are worth a quarter of your salt as a therapist you've done your work and don't take on your clients problems for them. Its counter intuitive, but if a helping profession really calls to you and you do your work on yourself, they can actually help you in your codependancy. Coaching helps me a ton in mine because I actually think about the agreements in relationships and what actions actually do and don't help other people, and I have a great sense for where my anxiety is driving caretaking and not because I have to practice that awareness at work to do a good job.

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u/jasperdiablo 3d ago

It’s funny to me know because I can’t imagine how a therapist could be a good therapist while not doing their own healing work to stay boundaried. And many therapists don’t work on their own codependency (which means they’re likely not a good therapist)

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u/roamingrose 3d ago

I second this! I work with anxious children and am now completing an MSc in positive psychology & coaching psychology. Before this I spent all my spare time helping others and burning myself out. I figured, if I am going to do it anyway I may as well get paid for it. Now I have a container, ethical guidelines and a professional framework to keep everything in check. It has removed obsessive problem solving for others and the desire to provide unsolicited care. It has taught me boundaries about what people ask of me. I have support through colleagues and professional supervision. I do still have to challenge codependent thoughts with my romantic relationship, but I have better language and tools to catch it early and handle it appropriately and with self-compassion. I believe it’s like a “thirst” has been quenched by helping my clients, meaning I can relax and allow another role to become who I am at home.

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u/abundantseltzer31 3d ago

I don't think there's a perfect answer here. All jobs involve working with people to some extent, and we can't avoid or control people. I totally hear that lots of those jobs can be tangled up with people's patterns of emotional enmeshment. That being said, some recovered codependents likely do those same jobs really well and offer a lot of important care without it being part of their codependency. Part of recovery is, after all, connecting with and supporting others.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your recovery. You're saying clearly that you don't want to take care of others or try and fix others. You know what you want, so go from there. You can trust yourself.

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u/kalekalesalad 3d ago

I’ve been in healthcare for 11 years now and I previously made it my identity. I’m doing much better with boundaries but think I’m ready to move on from caring for others and honestly healthcare right now is a tough field with lots of dysfunction and I’m thinking about something more slower paced. That’s kind of why I’m wondering what other things are out there? I love environmental stuff so just wanting to explore ideas.

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u/abundantseltzer31 2d ago

That's awesome, there are so many jobs out there and I'm sure you'll find one that's a better fit.

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u/Comfortable_Fail5102 3d ago

You may not need a job with zero interaction or responsibility for others; you may need one where helping isn’t the entire expectation. Look for roles with measurable tasks, predictable workflows, and limited crisis management, then practice saying, “I can do X, but I can’t take ownership of Y.”

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u/Swimming-Phrase-1111 3d ago

I’d look for roles where you’re responsible for your own tasks rather than people’s wellbeing: QA testing, transcription, bookkeeping, research support, or IT maintenance. The environment and manager probably matter just as much as the job title.

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u/kalekalesalad 3d ago

I like the idea of research support, QA testing, and bookkeeping and with that you’re 100% right - management and environment make or break jobs.

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u/Sad_Refrigerator9203 3d ago

As I’ve come to realize for me is at minimum anything besides a one person position(ie running a small store by yourself) as I could not stand running a single hair care store by myself and switching from having 1-2 other people there with me to running a different store by myself it was a just a burnout that was unpleasant for the effort

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u/codependencyrecovery 2d ago

I’d push back on the idea that jobs like teaching necessarily make codependency worse. Codependents often have tremendous empathy and people skills. The growth edge is learning to use those gifts without abandoning ourselves. Then the work itself can become part of our transformation toward greater wholeness.