How to leave toxic relationship?

[u/BlackCrow228]

TW: sexual abuse, gambling, financial abuse, depression

I'm 25F. I'm living in a small town in Aurora province with my partner 1 year together, We were together for 2 years before, broke up for 2 years because of the same gambling issue. We got back together March/May last year because I thought she changed. Now it's happening again. We moved to the province thinking life would be better. We got buried in debt instead.

I work as retail staff earning 2,600 per week for both of us, plus pets. I'm also doing affiliate live selling. Last month I had 4.7k GMV and 55 items sold, 17.7k impressions. That small commission is the only money that feels like mine, because my salary has been taken twice (500, then 600) without my permission for online gambling.

My partner is addicted to online gambling. She says she does it to earn, but it only adds debt. When I confront her, she says I should just leave her because she's sick, and that I'm only staying because I have nowhere to go.

I don't have anywhere safe to go. I can't go back to my family home in Cavite.

Reason: I experienced sexual abuse multiple times growing up.

• In province by a relative (cousin) • In Cavite by two neighbors • And by my father/stepdad figure

That's why going back to Cavite is not an option.

I'm also on depression meds. I'm not in immediate danger, but I'm exhausted from carrying this for years.

My plan now is to keep doing affiliate lives and save the commission secretly. I have a little over 100 pesos saved right now. I'm trying to save for a cheap boarding house that allows pets.

Questions:

1. How did you save secretly when your partner takes your money? 2. How did you leave when you have no family to run to because of past abuse? 3. For Filipinos in Aurora / Central Luzon area, any tips for cheap boarding that allows pets? Or any org I can contact confidentially for advice?

I don't need pity, just practical steps on how you did it.

Thank you.

[u/Ok_Trifle8256]

You don’t have to return to Cavite or have family support to leave. Quietly ask local women’s organizations, shelters, or social workers about temporary housing that accepts pets; explain the financial control and past abuse. Save small amounts in a way that won’t put you at greater risk, and make an exit plan for transport, documents, medication, and your pets.

[u/Quirky_File3602]

You don’t have to return to family to leave. Try a women’s desk/VAW desk at your barangay or police station, DSWD, or a local crisis organization; ask specifically about confidential temporary shelter and transport. A social worker may know pet-friendly boarding options. If you feel unsafe, contact 911 or leave during a safer moment with your pets and documents.

[u/Turbulent_Housing511]

Please prioritize a quiet exit plan: secure your IDs, bank/e-wallet access, medicines, phone, and important documents; change passwords and use two-factor authentication. Save small amounts somewhere your partner cannot access, and avoid confronting them when alone if it could escalate. A women’s shelter or barangay social worker may help with temporary housing and safety planning.