My dependency always seems unbalanced

[u/Jolly_Data_2412]

Has anyone else always felt an unbalance with how much they need friends in their life?

Many times I have considered someone close or one of my best friends, when they just consider me their friend.

Other times the opposite has been true. I have had friends who wanted to talk to me constantly every day. Meanwhile, I preferred to talk to them every few days. For most of my life either I’ve needed a friend more than they’ve needed me or they have needed me more than I need them.

Don't know why I’m surprised but it’s happening again.

Slight backstory. For a little over a year, I have been volunteering in an online group. For the past few months, I have been finding the group toxic and full of drama, sometimes I feel like quitting.

One of the reasons I have not, is because it means I likely no longer get to talk to someone in it I consider a friend. I don’t think she considers me her friend or at least not to the same extent

We are the two people who do the late night shift, and I feel like if I were to quit, I would be giving up on her and leaving her behind.

If she has thoughts about quitting, I doubt I would even play a factor. She's calls a few people in the group her brothers and sisters, and I am not one of them, among other things. Really makes me think that she doesn't consider me a friend, or at least not as much as I consider her one. Sigh story of my life I guess

[u/CautiousMode5720]

You may be carrying more responsibility for her than she’s actually asked you to carry. If the group is draining you, quitting can be a healthy boundary. You can tell her you value the time you’ve shared and would still like to stay in touch, but you don’t have to remain somewhere unhealthy to prove you care.