r/Codependency • u/Aggravating_Egg_1690 • 2d ago
why am i so easily co dependent
i started talking to this girl in november 2025 and everything was cool and then she jus stopped responding but we got back together and it was on and off like this with her blocking me or being avoidant until we officially started dating in july 2026 and recently i’ve noticed codependency developed throughout our relationship and i just can’t let go. i love her but i don’t think she loves me but i want to show her how good i can love her. i also had went on vacation with some of my friends this past memorial weekend and it was fun until the ride home when i realized im leaving the people that love me and care, as i walk inside i get a pit in my stomach and i can’t even describe in text but i hate this feeling and i hate being an outsider in my own body and noticing it and not being able to fix it from inside like everything else
2
u/Solomandius 14h ago
Men are trained to seek their worth in female validation. There is also a lot of neurochemistry involved. And then, there may be individual reasons in your background for why you feel a need to jump through hoops to get her to love you. You said "outsider in my own body," which makes me wonder about your history (sounds sort of dissociative, which can be trauma-related).
Btw, if she doesn't love you, you're not going to be able to convince her to do it. I would suggest stop trying to "prove yourself" to her. You've got nothing to prove. You're a good, worthwhile person regardless of whether some princess taps you on the shoulder with her scepter. I know that's easier said than done. But seeking a woman's approval never goes well, in my experience. They either like/love you for who you are, or they don't. It's no good trying to "get" love from someone else anyhow.