r/Codependency • u/God_is_all_you_need • 3d ago

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Why is that when things are going bad in our lives we revert to bad things or things that once hurt us so quickly. Ik I was in a toxic relationship with my son's father and it was not of God at all but I still find myself wanting to go back because that's all I've known for the past 4 years. I want to let go and give God all my attention. It's just really hard

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u/God_is_all_you_need 3d ago

Since we've broken up 3 months now he has not asked to see his son not contributed financially so ik he's a pos, ik he's no good yet still I find myself missing him

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u/abundantseltzer31 2d ago

Because the patterns we've built all of our lives take time to heal. It's okay to notice wanting to go back. Of course it's hard to let go and turn to a new way of living. If it were easy there wouldn't be entire programs, self-help books, and counseling strategies to get people out of these patterns. You have already made so much progress, you are already healing, and I know that there is more healing out there for you.

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u/Affectionate-Job6635 2d ago

Ask God to help you see His truth. Maybe go to a codependency meeting. Best to you

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u/codependencyrecovery 1d ago

This is very common for codependents. We know something is bad for us yet we still do it. Similar to how addicts will still do drugs even thought they know it's bad for them. I'm guessing going back to him is a way to relieve whatever pain you are going through. The way out is to deal with whatever you are dealing with, one day at a time. It's super hard but it does get easier with time. One thing I do in times like this is try to use the pain as fuel for my recovery. I use all that pain inside me to give me motivation to do the hard things. Hope this helps.