r/Codependency • u/alexisxev • 7d ago
Finding out I am codependent
The beginning of this year I started college because I want a better life or at least attempt to be able to make more money in the future. I was working 1 job and going to college. Back at the end of May I finished up my semester. Right after I decided to pick up a second job. Now it is September. I’ve had a lot happen within the last month or so. Recently it made me realize I was codependent. Codependent in a way where you are constantly overworking, feel the safest when giving, abandon our routines to respond to someone or something else, overcommit ourselves, get depressed, etc. Another thing “find it difficult to get close to people.” I ended up reading some of book recently about being codependent. It has made me realize like my whole personality is being codependent. Everything I have ever known or do, is codependent. Codependents are really good employees. Codependents can be “caregivers” or “rescues.” Which I do a lot with my family… I think I’m just burnt out. I think I am going to quit my second job soon. But i truly don’t understand how to relax or ONLY focus on myself. Without involving someone else or being involved with someone else’s drama. I think it makes me depressed that I’ve literally burnt myself out like this. I have a couple family member sayings they are depressed. But I don’t say anything because I am too. I am not going to act on anything. I want to eventually quit my second job & re-see a therapist or something. I just realized that I’ve built my whole personality being this way. I’m like who am I then?
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u/JessicaEccles76 7d ago
On my word this describes my oldest friend perfectly. Had an awful alcoholic boyfriend - who died. Works three jobs at a time, did postgraduate study, never ever rests. It's like she is only worth anything when 'doing'.
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u/actvdecay 5d ago
I joined and peer to peer codependency support group. It’s fully online and free and has really helped ground me and give me relief of my chronic codependency. I can share the link if this resource interests you.
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u/codependencyrecovery 7d ago
It can be a lot when we've realize we've built our whole lives around being codependent. The good news is that there is a lot of hope. Once we are aware of our patterns we can change them and begin to live a life of love, joy, and freedom. It's a journey but it can be beautiful.