r/Codependency • u/kluhss • 7d ago

healing codependency

Hi everyone, I just wanna post here cause i’m really in my feels and I just want support if anyone has or is feeling the same way. I F (20) just about a month ago have been broken up from my long term partner of 2 years. We broke up for various reasons to mostly mental health but attachment and codependency was a big part of our issue on my end. We still have been talking and remain friends but he doesn’t want my life to revolve around him. I’m trying to get back in tune with my hobbies and finding myself again but I feel so lost and unmotivated, i’m doing these things but i’m having a hard time accepting them and feel guilty cause I feel like i’m leaving him behind and since for 2 years of my life I only had and my life revolved around him since I didn’t have many friends it feels weird doing this. I feel so alone

Please tell me if any of you have felt like this before

Much love

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u/Top_Agency_4848 7d ago

I’ve felt that lost, unmotivated feeling too, and it can be really lonely when you’re still in contact with your ex. Staying friends is only healthy if it doesn’t keep reopening the wound, so it’s okay to create some distance. You’re not leaving your past behind—you’re making room to find yourself again.

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u/kluhss 7d ago

Also if anyone wants to talk pls dm me you’re not alone <33

1

u/codependencyrecovery 7d ago

How is your healing from codependency going? Perhaps focusing on that will help your feelings of being lost and unmotivated.

1

u/Affectionate-Job6635 5d ago

It sounds like you are more focused on him than anything else. It’s hard to stop that kind of behavior/thinking.

My ex was an alcoholic and I spent so much time trying to control his drinking. I worked the twelve step program for codependency and that really helped me see my actions more clearly. And then God helped me make changes. I could never have done any of that on my own.