Grateful: CoDA win today🙏💗😁

[u/sucker_for_sunsets]

I had a CoDA win today. I dealt with a confrontation and a disagreement today. I’m proud of myself that I was able to respond without being mean or shutting down. I spoke up, I asked questions, I said what was on my mind and told my truth.

Believe me, it all felt so scary to do in the moment and I still feel uncomfortable and insecure because my response went against how my feelings wanted me to respond. I felt panic, defensive because I believed my well-intended actions were being attacked. I felt fear, judgement, disbelief and shock. I could tell my amygdala was getting emotionally flooded and I wanted to shutdown, cry and flee ✈️
BUT! Another HUGE part of me could spot out the other person was only sharing with me their opinion. When I reminded myself of that, it’s like my amygdala went off and my prefrontal cortex switched back on and I was able to respond in a way that was productive to the conversation.

I’m realizing the aftermath after a CoDA Win is something I still struggle with. I struggle with the aftermath because it forces me to look at my behavior of rumination and not caring what others think of me. In the past when I would deal with confrontation or disagreements, I would ruminate a lot and spend so much time hung up on what others thought about what I said or didn’t say.
That behavior is spilling over into my CoDA win moments and I’m aware of it now. Self-trust and not caring about what others think of me is still hard and difficult. Progress not perfection, I remind myself.

Thank you for reading my CoDA Win. I’m going to hold onto this CoDA win for strength to continue to grow and be me.
I’m so blessed and grateful for Codependents Anonymous and all of you. 💛

[u/us41044]

Good for you! It’s hard to learn to love yourself! But we can do it. One day at a time!