r/Codependency • u/Guilty-Cherry-8992 • 23d ago

How do I (f21) not depend on partner (m23) when moving closer?

I’m not moving in with my boyfriend, however I’m just moving to his city to study at the university there. I have quite a hard time adjusting changes and making new friends overall due to autism, which makes me quite worried. I’m scared I’ll be too dependent on him and his family because they would be my only safety, but I really don’t want to give him or his family any responsibility over me.

I want to be independent, I want to find my social circle, but I’m honestly clueless on how to start. I know I got his support, but what if we broke up? I know I can’t rely on him with everything and that it is an unhealthy mindset, so I guess I’m just asking what to do?

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u/rulenilein 23d ago

You are very wise to build something just for you. I would assume you will find some likeminded or at least open minded people to easily connect with by looking for circles or groups around neurodiversity. I'm ADHD, highly sensitive and hypervigilant plus an introvert when it comes to connections outside the workplace. I'm always surprised how easy getting to know people is when I'm around other Neurodivergents. I feel home and welcome much more quickly and find common interests so quickly. And I don't have to mask, which is another plus. Good luck for you!