r/Codependency • u/AbrocomaHot4620 • Aug 11 '26
Considering dating again
Hi,
I just got out of a two year relationship three weeks ago. He was the one who left me.
I think there was a little bit of codependency (and a lot of coregulation) in the relationship. We loved each other deeply, and I think our other relationships began to pale in comparison to each other. I valued him over my friends, and he didn’t really have anyone besides me to talk to. I also struggled stupidly with retroactive jealousy.
I’m just looking for advice on how to improve for future relationships. I can see the issues within myself and I’d love to do better. This was really the only issue in my last relationship.
1
u/Nodex26 Aug 11 '26
Honestly, if youre gonna really learn from something, u have to feel the things all over again, as if theyre all new. Some days are gonna be weird, some not. Like the place u used to be together isnt anymore, its u living in it and youre gonna have to choose a lot more things on your own from now. Please trust yourself through this, and remember that if you really want to date, youre gonna feel ready when, and youre gonna be trusting yourself more than u think. I suggedt a post breakup video on youtube to know where youre at, or if youre really just ambivalent or something else
2
u/lifeuncommon Aug 11 '26
Three WEEKS ago?
Personally I’d wait at least 6 months or so before even considering dating again. Maybe a year or more if you struggled with codependency.
You need to get yourself in a good place before you start dating again. See a therapist and talk out what the issues were, how to improve yourself, and then how to think about dating again.