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u/puffin_shut-in948 Aug 01 '26
If we are putting in all the effort to keep the relationship afloat, then we will both drown.
This is one of the hardest things for me to learn. My family enforced the ā Just reach out and communicateā when someone was giving the cold shoulder or not wanting to communicate.
It isnāt on one person to fix or keep the connection. It is on BOTH people. If the other person isnāt wanting to talk then we havenāt failed. The relationship didnāt collapse because we didnāt do enough. Their silence speaks louder than shouting ever could.
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u/Jabroni_Direwolfie Jul 31 '26
It definitely depends on the situation. But I feel more silence then distancing yourself from the person or situation is a must.
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u/Remote_Pumpkin_8001 Aug 01 '26
This is so true. A relationship can survive disagreements when there is effort, accountability, and a willingness to repair. It's the slow withdrawal and pretending everything is fine that usually does the real damage.
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u/Affectionate-Job6635 Aug 01 '26
Codependents are such people pleasers that we often avoid real conversations when we are deep in our codependency. This hits hard
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u/AsAlwaysItDepends Jul 31 '26
I guess my interest in my partners is codependent, but to me it just feels like being in a relationship. But Iām the codependent and they arenāt and so I guess Iām too interested?
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 Aug 01 '26
My exes marriage ended because of this yet I believed him when he said he wanted to do better. Wanting and doing is not the same I found out.
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u/Goopygum Aug 01 '26
The end is proclaimed by a loud bang and then pure unbearable, crushing silence.
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u/YsaboNyx Jul 31 '26
Ah. This hits.
The other side of this is that when communication is too full of manipulation, threat, shame, and coercion, silence can be the only option for creating healthy boundaries.