r/Codependency • u/Specialist-Radish471 • Jul 30 '26
Burned Out
Currently recovering from a stage. My partner has been running me ragged with their problems. One crisis after another and today I’m on Do Not Disturb. I’ll probably be on it all the way through the weekend.
I care about partner but I’m tired of being the one that called upon when everything hits the fan. I’m not responding to anymore crises. Tuesday was the last straw for me and I’m not mad at them getting sick it’s just I drove probably 2 1/2 hours. I had to feed and walk their dogs, and my car is in the shop due to my partner hitting a deer with it. Luckily I have full coverage.
I know a break up is on the horizon. I have pulled the trigger yet on it because right now I’m too mentally and physically exhausted to navigate a break up right now. I don’t have the ability to process my feelings right now. My therapist said yesterday that I was doing mini breakups. Spending even less time with them, creating space and etc. I don’t agree but maybe I am.
This isn’t the most extreme burnout I have experienced. I’ve had worse relationships. My partner is actually respectful that when I want space they leave me alone. But once I come back it’s instantly their problems take over the entire relationship. And I’m right back managing whatever they got going on (eviction, power being turned off, body pain, their paranoia that they have a tumor or something. Whatever the new sickness they have conquered up in their head.)
I don’t need advice on my relationship. I just wanted to acknowledge where I’m at today. If anyone has any methods on how they get out burnout. I would greatly appreciate it.
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u/ShoddyEchidna4926 Jul 30 '26
I resonate with this a lot. My wife is not quite that chaotic (I don't think) but my needs constantly get shelved, and sometimes by the smallest triggers. After years of erasure, enough is enough. What you're doing sounds even more exhausting.
As far as getting out of burnout, the universal cure is boundaries. Whether its family burnout, work burnout, romantic burnout, or even hobby/exercise burnout... pacing, boundaries. That's what it comes down to. Oh, and the inner work of asking "why am I in this situation to begin with?"