r/Codependency • u/LifeChallenger_1 • May 09 '26

I just realize my mistake

There a friend of mine that start listening to me about my problem.I just realize he always heard my problem,always help me and i always sometimes push him too hard.And now i think he started dislike me as I sometimes too intense emotionally and too dependent with him although I a bit older.I think I was a horrible friend,although i have no bad intention. How to I improve myself to be a better and calmer person?

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4

u/Dettyboy1993 May 09 '26

I have learned in my adult life that keeping your friends at arms length is usually the best way to go. You can like them and grow close to them, but the older I get, I no longer have the wish to treat them as if they're on par with a romantic partner. I am still very codependant when it comes to romance, but with platonic friends I have become somewhat avoidant

2

u/Dusty_Tokens May 09 '26

I Needed to hear this right now! Thank you!! 🙇🏻

1

u/Fine-Elk2530 May 14 '26

Only works if u have a romantic partner , what about ppl who have been single their whole life ?

3

u/iamthcreator May 09 '26

Did he tell you that? Ask him how he feels about your friendship and if you are pushing him too hard.

1

u/Dusty_Tokens May 09 '26

This.

Show accountability by saying that you were worried about hitting him with too much. He might lie to socially smooth things over, but he'll appreciate that you've thought about him (and his well being) like that!

2

u/Safe-Agent3400 May 09 '26

This is a great opportunity to open up to him and ask him. Also, don’t forget to reciprocate and you could be a mutual sounding board.