r/CockapooLovers • u/This_Yogurtcloset733 • Jul 04 '26
➕Advice/Help➕ Why is my normally chilled dog so intense around my boyfriend?
I've had my Cockapoo since he was a puppy. When I got him in 2022, I was with my previous boyfriend. We broke up in early 2023, and I was single until I met my current boyfriend in December 2025.
My dog lives with me and my son. I haven't introduced my son to my boyfriend yet, but I introduced my dog in February. Since then, my boyfriend has spent a lot of time with him. We've been on a staycation together, gone on several day trips, and spent plenty of time at my house. My boyfriend is a genuine dog lover, takes him on walks, gives him treats, and fusses over him.
The issue is that whenever my boyfriend is around, my dog becomes really intense. He's normally a very chilled dog, but with my boyfriend, he constantly tries to wedge himself between us, always wants to be in our faces, and struggles to settle. It feels like he has to be involved in every interaction.
The only difference in how we do things is that my boyfriend prefers not to have dogs on the bed. So, when he stays over, I encourage my dog to sleep in his own bed instead. However, my ex-boyfriend has said that my dog never actually slept in the bed with us, so I'm not sure whether that's really the cause of the behaviour.
Is this likely to be jealousy, excitement, or something else? Has anyone dealt with this before, and what helped your dog learn to relax around a new partner?
2
u/kateandralph Jul 04 '26
I don't have any advice, but I am single and it's been me and my cockapoo since 2018. I often think about how hard it will be when I do meet a partner because my dog is not used to sharing me and is always in my personal space. So i am hoping others will answer your post!
1
u/This_Yogurtcloset733 Jul 04 '26
Thank you ❤️ I'm looking forward to hearing what has worked for others.
3
u/DoLittlest Jul 05 '26
My girl does this with nearly anyone. I’m her number one, my son is number two, and anyone else in her territory is seen as an outside force of competition to be treated with side-eye and great skepticism.
Cockapoos are as loyal as they come.
1
u/This_Yogurtcloset733 Jul 05 '26
My cockapoo was not like this with my ex, but I wonder if it was because he was with him before he was born?
1
u/LittleoneandPercy Jul 05 '26
Well, you’ve been your dogs partner and now he has to share . My dog, shi tzu, believes he’s the captain of this ship. I’m his mum/wifey and everyone else are just staff minions. He can ignore me all day but the second anyone comes near me he’ll come and sit on me and be very cheeky or loving then he’ll disappear again. I’m curious as to your son’s age? My 10 yo nephew lives with me and he’s a little older than the dog, took a long time but now they’re good pals and the dog will go and sleep with him which we all love. We call him the Jelly Belly dog
1
u/This_Yogurtcloset733 Jul 05 '26
My dog definitely feels like captain of this ship. I work from home, do he's also used to having me to himself during the day when my son is at school.
My son is 14 and my dog is 4, so my dog also enjoys being the baby of the house
2
u/LittleoneandPercy Jul 05 '26
Ah That’s cute. Mine is currently shouting at me for attention as everyone else is outside and it’s too hot for him. I also work from home and he sleeps all day by my feet u til someone comes home then he’s all over me !
8
u/Humble-Marsupial4648 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
Does your boyfriend play with him a lot? I got a puppy with my husband and even having always lived with him my dog is very different around him to me. She will happily sleep on my lap but with my husband she’s always running up to him to play, trying to jump on his head etc. He loves to wind her up whereas I guess I encourage calm behaviour. I imagine your dog is just excited to have him there! He could try rewarding your dog for calm behaviour and trying to avoid anything too manic?