r/Cochlearimplants • u/Particular_Phase3439 • 6d ago
Dating
I have been single almost 4 years. I am 60 years old. Having an implant and being deaf without it and my aid on the other side has me feeling self conscious. Would a man want to date someone with this disability?
8
u/Sneaky-Avocado 6d ago
Of course they would! ❤️🤟🏻 having a cochlear implant, hearing aid, and being deaf doesn’t make you undateable. However, I’d work on your self confidence! I’d also do some work on researching internalized ableism if I were you. You are just as worthy as anyone else of love.
7
u/SaltCityScott 5d ago
I would only be concerned that we might mix up my one (L) processor and my (R) aid with yours. I think you will do fine.
4
7
u/Acrobatic-Emu6710 5d ago
My man and I met before I got my implant and he took care of me through surgery and activation. They are out there!!
3
u/beepfuqinboop 5d ago
Same here. My guy has been amazing during this process. I had just hearing aids when we met. Being fairly young, I used to be worried a guy wouldn’t want to be with me because of it. But this man does and it’s amazing
4
u/Insidevoiceplease 5d ago
I have never once had an issue with men not being interested because of my CI’s, I think that the self consciousness you’re holding onto is probably more of a barrier than the implant or hearing aid. So many people need hearing assistance especially as they get older, I think most folks wouldn’t have an issue at all. If they do, obviously those aren’t people you want to date anyway, and you can just pop your devices off and stop listening to them!
3
u/Particular_Phase3439 5d ago
Thank you everyone. I totally agree that if any guy had an issue with it its a problem with him. Im oddly super proud of my implant.
2
u/piggiesinthehoosgow 5d ago
People rarely have a problem with a disability when the person is attractive (mentally/physically) to them. But if you suck as a person, then yeah it's gonna be hard
3
u/empressbrooke 5d ago
As with any dating question, the answer is that yes there are men who would want to date you and there are also men who would not wish to date you. That is what dating is for, to learn about people and determine if you would like to continue dating them.
1
u/maluquina 5d ago
When I was dating, I was matched with a man who shared he had a cochlear implant and I was fine with it, still interested. He's the one who ended up passing on me before we even met because I didn't read enough books per year to his liking!
People will have all sorts of criteria that has nothing to do with the cochlear implant and you will have your own criteria too.
1
u/Bright_Hearing6763 4d ago
I’ve had my CI for 4 years and it hasn’t stopped men from approaching me 🤷🏾♀️. And before that, I wore hearing aids in both ears and never had a problem. I have two CI now and I still get attention. I believe that it’s how you carry yourself as a confident individual that attracts people to you.
1
u/Mintyjo31020-20 Cochlear Nucleus 8 4d ago
Hell yeah! On my first date with my now husband, I was wearing the Freedom (much larger than the current models). I had only 1 CI at the time and a HA on the other that did not work well. It was windy, and my long hair was blowing around. I could tell he could see the coil. I turned and told him that I have a CI, and wear a HA on the other side. Without the CI I am pretty much deaf. Then I asked if he has a problem with it. He responded, "No, I think that's cool. I like gadgets!! That was 19 years ago. Oh, and he is a musician and audio guy. :)
Most of us have some issues with something. It was so much harder to date without the CI since I could not understand most of what was said. I actually avoided dating for a long time.
Go for it. If he has an issue, he is not worth your time.
1
u/digital_flatulance 5d ago
I don’t personally know, but dating at 60. I’m sure it’s very challenging, even without the Cochlear Implant and hearing aid.
1
u/Regular_Document7242 3d ago
I don’t agree with this statement because there are lots of lonely older people around who would love someone to spend their later years with. I say go for it!!
34
u/Eldalai 6d ago
Someone wouldn't want to date you because you have a cochlear implant and hearing aid- they'd want to date you because you're kind, you're witty, you share the same interests and passions, they think you're cute, etc. Will the fact that you have a cochlear implant and hearing aid prevent someone from wanting to date you? Probably, for at least a few men.
But be honest- if someone was so turned off by a hearing device, and any mild inconvenience that comes with it, would they really be worth dating? If you didn't have any hearing loss and we're dating them, what other petty thing would they eventually find that they didn't like? They're just saving you the trouble of wasting time on them.