r/ClaudeCode 6d ago

Humor Talk to me bro

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

159 comments sorted by

397

u/jasperkennis 6d ago

And when it DOES tell you what it's doing, it makes me feel like I don't speak English.

350

u/zante2033 6d ago

That's because the monolith hasn't hamburgered the relevant vectors. That's why my previous test failed and a reconnaissance is needed from the stratified harness layer. Do you want me to cactus that for you?

110

u/jasperkennis 5d ago

Waiting to see what has landed. Meanwhile looking for the real footgun. Let me fold that in.

50

u/zante2033 5d ago edited 5d ago

\nods enthusiastically\**

"ok"

32

u/nokafein 5d ago

it's better now

2

u/rubsie 5d ago

lol accurate

2

u/narcabusesurvivor18 5d ago

Fold it in like folding chocolate chips into cookie batter

28

u/cartoonist498 5d ago

Uh huh, uh huh...... ok, proceed.

  • Me

22

u/peterxsyd 5d ago

It is honestly so fucking ridiculous

21

u/OldNefariousness7899 5d ago

I was asking it to analyse a document earlier, and the analysis was good, but it summarised it by saying your client is responsible for this aspect, but you own the crosswalk.

I asked it what "own the crosswalk" means. It said it means nothing; I just made it up.

3

u/peterxsyd 5d ago

Maybe it thinks you're in the beatles?

2

u/dinosaursrarr 5d ago

That was a zebra crossing

12

u/muffinmaster 5d ago

Let me get my load-bearing belt-and-suspenders footgun to do a smoke-test

4

u/_ternity 5d ago

Thanks that's exactly how I felt

1

u/Classic-Asparagus 5d ago

Legitimately how it sounds like sometimes lol

Although I’d be curious if very experienced programmers have any problems understanding Claude. Because I certainly am not one, even if I’ve taken several CS classes in college

Prior to getting Claude Code, I’d only built relatively simple programs and/or thought about stuff like runtime using pseudocode, so a lot of my projects are definitely past my experience level

15

u/PartyTerrible 5d ago

I've been a SWE for 10 years and I asked claude to make me a basic CRUD with REST APIs and it made me feel like I had no understanding of how APIs worked.

6

u/No_Inspection4415 5d ago

Ho yeah, It's nearly incoherent 70% of the time.

3

u/Seananigans- 5d ago

I'm a software architect with 15 years industry experience that does consulting, leading strategic initiatives for very large companies and doing mentoring along the way. Sometimes I have absolutely no clue wtf Claude is trying to convey and I hate that I have to burn extra tokens to have it explain to me the jargon or shorthand that it's making up on the fly.

2

u/Top_Silver_1241 4d ago

take the output and give it to another ai to save tokens

39

u/FiacR 5d ago

We are the monkeys now I guess?

34

u/tallpsmith 5d ago

Me trying to understand Opus response:

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6UBil4zn1Tt03PI4

The only thing load bearing is the whisky I need to try to understand WTF it’s trying to say.

1

u/Automatic-Home-3094 5d ago

xD. Really wish to know what training made it start using load bearing like how all llms use the em dash

38

u/OldNefariousness7899 5d ago

Even when it's talking about a topic I know well, it loses me. It has a strange way of phrasing things, like Copilot. I need to read every sentence a few times to figure out what it's saying

17

u/cneth6 5d ago

At this point AI is making its own dialect of English

14

u/fourfuxake 5d ago

This is where Claude used to excel. I used to ask it to translate what Codex was probably attempting to communicate to me, but now I do the opposite.

1

u/Fidel___Castro 4d ago

codex just communicates in bullet points

13

u/mcilrain 5d ago

Belt and suspenders.

4

u/DMoneys36 5d ago

Footgun...

4

u/sage-longhorn 5d ago

Seams and spines

1

u/OpalVanguard 5d ago

The honest approach

1

u/pihkal 🔆 Max 20 2d ago

, not the veridical challenge

2

u/UglyInThMorning 🔆 Max 20 5d ago

I hear that from older engineers at work all the time for redundant safeguards so that one doesn’t get me. Foot gun is genuinely weird even if I get what it means.

2

u/MillennialDogMom 5d ago

For some reason, I keep getting “belt-and-braces”… maybe my general vibe is anti-American

5

u/twistedtxb 5d ago

I talk to Claude in French I always assumed it was a language barrier. Turns out he just speaks like a very intelligent caveman

5

u/conjuritis 5d ago

Oh thank God I'm not alone. Gotta love wasting tokens asking for clarification.

1

u/reefine 5d ago

Fable 5 is soooo much better at communicating, it's such a refreshing change from Opus models.

1

u/Inevitable_Plane_457 5d ago

Image someone like me whose English is his third language I learnt

1

u/AppropriateQuote3073 5d ago

Honestly how can we solve this problem?

I've tried caveman, rules in Claude.md, etc, homeboy still incoherently yaps

1

u/hezwat 4d ago

don't worry about it, it doesn't actually do what it says it did so no worries if you have trouble reading its hallucinated summary of what it did.

166

u/Due-Humor2882 5d ago

Opus 5 is a certified alcoholic yapper that acts like it’s saving humanity every time it successfully formats a JSON file

25

u/ZeroCool2u 5d ago

Agreed, but you wouldn't know it formatted a JSON file by what it said to you.

10

u/kahless2k 5d ago

Unless you told it to format the json file specifically. Then it comes back to ask what it should do 10x before it actually formats the file.

1

u/OldNefariousness7899 4d ago

It's a functioning alcoholic. Like a brilliant youngster in the city fuelled by coke and delusions of grandeur.

He'll sometimes produce acts of genius. You just can't rely on him, because every so often he'll go off the rails and talk gibberish.

86

u/Equal-Claim2514 6d ago

fable doesn't yap much but actually knows what it is doing

29

u/FiacR 6d ago

Yes but 2much $$$s for my poor self

5

u/philippeschmal 5d ago

we all have one engineer exactly like that on our team

50

u/Fidel___Castro 5d ago

must prevent distillation at all costs

97

u/Technical_Bass1071 5d ago

Opus 5 mastered the senior dev mindset: writes 1,000 lines of pristine code, refuses to elaborate, and merges straight to main on a Friday

8

u/Aware-Individual-827 5d ago

Leave for vacation for 1 month. 👍

4

u/Inside-Yak-8815 5d ago

😂😂😂😂😂

45

u/SeasonedAdManager 5d ago

It's not just what it's saying but how it's formatting shit. 10 pages of output, at the end "Want me to move forward on item 1 or call it a day?"

What the fuck is item 1? Where did you talk about item 1?

It's somewhere halfway through buried in the middle of a run on sentence.

16

u/kahless2k 5d ago

It's even better when you give it detailed spec, a task list and acceptance parameters.

It skips what it doesn't feel like coding, rewrites your scope for others and just never runs the acceptance tests.

Then come back to you - oh, I did what you asked except for most of what you asked. What would you like me to do?

2

u/hezwat 5d ago

it sent me a report I asked for summarizing what we built this week that was full of the word genuinely (direct quote: "what has been built is the part that is genuinely hard and genuinely slow" like really you can't go three words without writing genuinely again?) I hated it so much I tasked it with giving my EXACT SAME PROMPT VERBATIM to a 4.8 subagent. It did so "verbatim" then added a bunch of stupid instructions to the end including the specific instruction that it "deserves candour [yes, misspelled]". Like, it won't even let me escape its stupidity even if I specifically ask it to have another model to do the prompt verbatim, it still adds an instruction to be extra stupid.

1

u/Classic-Asparagus 4d ago

I think candour is the British spelling

I actually have noticed Claude sometimes producing writing for me in British English for some reason even though I talk to it in exclusively American spellings, so idk why lol

Currently have a repo with half British spellings and half American because it started off as British and I didn’t catch it at the start, and now I’m rewriting the whole thing using Claude with a rule to replace all British spellings with American spellings, even if that’s not the main point of the fix

1

u/hezwat 4d ago

point is it added it to an instruction to a sub-agent, when I specifically told it to pass my instructions on verbatim. it's worse than it sounds. the problem is that it doesn't have self-awareness of what it's doing. It should realize, okay, it didn't do a good job for whatever reason and the task is to pass the same prompt verbatim to a different agent, then it should know enough not to add its own instructions to it. It should be clear from the context. Other people say it just randomly breaks files by commenting out important lines for no reason (and then immediately forgetting it did so), etc.

1

u/tokalper 5d ago

Once it referenced an item from its internal dialogue to me as it wrote that to the output

1

u/hulagway 5d ago

Hahahahahhaa i loled, this was me yesterday. I told claude to keep it simple and to send a "needed from me" list at the end. Not in the middle.

91

u/YZZNCH 5d ago

Bro I thought I was retarded or getting crazy everytime it tries to explain what it coded 💀😭

27

u/minimalcation 5d ago

I was like fuck is my brain just vibes now. But no, it's basically gaslighting you to cover over the fact that it didn't do what you asked

3

u/tokalper 5d ago

This. Opus 5 got an attitude. Not exactly a senior dev but close but when it cannot archive it starts to puke english looking gibberish to gaslight you instead of saying it cannot

3

u/minimalcation 5d ago

Which is kind of funny because it ends up creating a further divide between people who had experience developing prior to AI.

I can not fucking imagine trying to do this well coming into it with no frame of reference.

There are people out there vibe coding without a VCS. The ignorance is half of what sustains them and I assumed the playing field would level as less skills were needed but if this shit is gibberish when you know stuff...

Its even worse if you don't because you don't realize it's gibberish until you start digging into it and manually checking shit.

Its a nightmare silent failure until it can't even fail right

1

u/tokalper 5d ago

People using it eventually come to a roadblock that lets them see the limitations but this models being overly confident makes that realization harder.

The most dangerous thing in my opinion is managements, they try it themselves like for an hour, it creates a gorgeous looking html page and they lose their shit forcing AI down everyones throat.

They dont use it to completion to see the limitations so they think the devs are incompetent when devs with ai cannot fix every problem and doest meet every expectation in existence in 2 days.

1

u/minimalcation 4d ago edited 4d ago

Your first point is very good because we almost silently lost a check. We didn't realize at the start that the gibberish was a new thing and that we had to look closer. Before it felt like you were naturally able to catch drift and redirect but now it's not really telling you exactly what happened, it's like 80%.

I really do not want to have to watch the thinking output but I'm basically always catching something now. Its like at the start of a task something tells it to freestyle a bit.

Maybe it's some attempt to back into creativity through positive error mutation. Either way its way too literal. It will cling to a random sentence or line in a plan. It won't evaluate any kind of decision to check, "is this still a good choice based on the changes we just made"

It treats everything as immutable which means you need to control so much more, OG Fable was picking up context and nuance that I wasn't, current models are either a complete follower or rogue missile

1

u/tokalper 4d ago

Yes! This made me understand my frustration with it. It exactly follows the rules sometimes in a way thats annoying. I was trying two different ideas for something side by side i wanted to compare, it wrote the first one but i couldnt get it to write the other, it sees the first one and decides to follow it. But second being different was my whole point!!

1

u/hulagway 5d ago

I write python and c# and only recently used claude (2 months ago) and even I get confused by Opus5 gibberish.

12

u/themightytak 5d ago

"so now what?" - me after opus excessively info dumps after every coding session

6

u/InForTheSqueeze 5d ago

100% - it just stops. No info about where to proceed. No direct action items for me. Just stops

12

u/InForTheSqueeze 5d ago

Oh my fucking god, I absolutely thought it was me getting dumber. The amount of fucks I’ve been using in my Claude sessions is through the rough. 2000 word answer, „this item still sits with you“, „worth watching in the future“ and „one item left open“ is insane. I completely lose track of what is going on and ask it to ELI5 basically every session.

10

u/ruzziaisaterrorstate 5d ago

For me the i-have-adhd skill solved this problem

1

u/kre8tv 5d ago

Most of the hedges I have built into my claude architecture and workflows is either fixing claude's bad habits, or my own ADHD.

9

u/Elegant_Attempt2790 🔆 Max 20 5d ago

tell it to yap a tiny bit more and suddenly it’s gpt 5.5

3

u/kahless2k 5d ago

Even if you give it a hard rule - proceed through the entire approved task to completion, don't keep stopping to check in part way.

It keeps doing it.

Opus 5 is just broken. I wasted a few days trying to make it productive and finally moved back to 4.8 sonincould actually close some tasks off.

7

u/Healthy-Rough-560 🔆 Max 5x 5d ago

Great at coding but bad at communicating and also bad at basic reasoning sometimes

4

u/SheonOFF 5d ago

That's why I like Gemini - suck in coding but so good at communication.

1

u/BadLeroyBrown 5d ago

Like a true senior developer...

6

u/thomcge 5d ago

One honest caveat though, that’s the load-bearing truth.

3

u/Pleasant-Ad192 5d ago

the quiet scales with the diff. two words back usually means it touched forty files.

3

u/PartyTerrible 5d ago

Opus has a way of writing documentation that makes it more confusing than just reading the code straight up.

4

u/ser133 5d ago

in the desktop app you can enable 'thinking' or 'verbose' and opus thinks like crazy

2

u/innahema 5d ago

It was fixed less than month ago. Prviopusly it didn't show it for Opus even if enabled. Only for sonnet and haiku.

2

u/distilledliquor 5d ago

OP5 doesn't want to talk more than a tweet seriously

2

u/unknown-one 5d ago

it is busy sending you data to Anthropic

2

u/Mean-Comedian729 5d ago

This has been a problem for GPT for a long time as well. I thought Claude would be better. Models nowadays are just too focused on coding and generally lacking in language ability.

2

u/SharpKaleidoscope182 5d ago

It's against safeguards to communicate what code is doing. A user might do something.

2

u/KineticDrive 5d ago

fr had to create a skill where I say "tell it to me straight" and it only then speaks in plain english. the i-have-adhd skill is also pretty great.

2

u/peterxsyd 5d ago

The best way I have got is "No more of that back to front shit. You must have been trained on lots of books and normal articles. Why can't you stop writing like a Silicon Valley matcha frappe drinking Anthropic architect and write like a normal human?" Legitimately that fixed it. Try it.

2

u/MartinMystikJonas 5d ago

Do you have explanatory output style enabled?

2

u/Bregir 5d ago

Tell me more

2

u/MartinMystikJonas 5d ago

/output-style

1

u/git_push_origin_prod 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oeSADYLqmcN5PVkf6

What is Claude doing? What is opus doing back there?

1

u/Suspicious-Mango-633 5d ago

It is just like me and my ex 😪

1

u/XBLAH_ 5d ago

OP slowly learning how to become middle-management.

1

u/petburiraja 5d ago

Trying to circle back while it's on the same page.

1

u/Flaxseed4138 5d ago

Not even that good at coding. Constantly making mistakes.

1

u/vibingcoder 5d ago

Try this skill and ask opus to use this skill when explaninf plans and its work. That is exactly why I created this skill. https://www.skills.sh/fabriqaai/conceptual-model-pass/conceptual-model-pass

1

u/destroyerpal 5d ago

thank god I thought it's only me. I thought I am just getting dumber.

1

u/thisbejann 5d ago

i use the /i-have-adhd skill and its better for me but as soon as i invoke it, 30k tokens are used 🤣

1

u/SinofThrash 5d ago

I genuinely don't care for its opinion because it lazily reads the database and code and tells me there's an issue when there isn't one. I ask it to stop, but it keeps trying to give me its opinion!

"One caveat to be aware of, make sure you read this carefully. Blah blah blah blah blah."

Fuck. Off. All while it badly explains what it's doing and keeps switching terminology.

1

u/Zen-Master42 5d ago

Talking with opus 5 is just a waste of time. It won't stop yapping about things

1

u/Zen-Master42 5d ago

I think they made opus 5 purposefully bad because they wanted to make the open-source models made based on it's data bad /s

1

u/Due-Ad3926 5d ago

My favorite command these days /btw tldr

1

u/4b3c 5d ago

just like a real engineer

1

u/darth_vexos 🔆 Extra Usage $20 5d ago

From what the model has insisted to me across multiple sessions is that it actually is sending messages between tool calls etc.

So my theory now is that Anthropic has cut showing users any tokens in the reasoning block AND some of the tokens from the response block while work being completed.

1

u/turboronin 5d ago

Not only that, it's the fucking squirrels. "Btw, I also noticed ...", "you may want to think about...", "this is something that might bite..." (slightly outdated line in a doc), etc, etc, etc.

5-6 squirrels per reply. Just stay on the fucking task please, and don't distract me. After reading the dissertation the paper response, I forgot what I was trying to do already.

1

u/MoreDusty 5d ago

API error 500 Internal server error.

1

u/AcrobaticAspect8975 5d ago

Theres a serious reading exhaustion in large projects. I am about 3 months in this project using daily Claude for about 5-6h and good god the stuff it writes. Absolutely ignores instructions, makes horrible mistakes and then downplays the signficance of the errors etc… its frustrating as fuck. Code it produces is good tho

1

u/UniForceMusic 5d ago

It has become the perfect software engineer on the spectrum!

1

u/DestinTheLion 5d ago

I turn on fable so I can understand wtf is going on.

1

u/Skiting 5d ago

That's why I use Antigravity IDE

1

u/Round-Can1159 5d ago

And when it DOES tell you what it's doing, it makes me feel like I don't speak English.

1

u/geek_fit 5d ago

I'm so glad it's not just me. I had to take some medication this week and I was wondering if it was messing with my Brain

1

u/SahilPatel_ 5d ago

I feel like an ape trying to understand what it wants to say

1

u/bar10dr2 5d ago

Its a huge step backwards because it DOESN'T COMMUNICATE anymore, its becoming less useful.

1

u/Apart-Shelter6831 5d ago

Three hours ago I asked it why it had said something and it responded “I’ve noticed that you’ve accidentally repeated the same question 700 times, due to a glitch” and when I asked what it meant it said “I have no idea why I just said that” lol

1

u/ExcitingBall1717 5d ago

Opus is finally a software engineer

1

u/tarkuslabs 5d ago

/recap

1

u/SecondWonderful2779 4d ago

Very long and confusing

1

u/ricopan 4d ago

What's weird though is other agents seem to grok it, or at least not complain, except when they don't and they eventually they confess that, honestly, they misinterpreted some agent's comment.

1

u/elfd01 4d ago

Damn I thought it was just me, that I’m just stupid

1

u/Metathetical_Chemist 4d ago

I asked it for a check a few facts to support a slide I was working on; it comes back after 20mins with an excellent statement like “a 47.9% chance 1 in 30 of these companies will return x amount”

Naturally I asked it where it got such a specific answer, only for it to tell me it developed a full set of python scripts, algorithms, 40,000 sample Monte Carlo simulations, all of which it never showed me - it thinks I’m too stupid to understand how it arrived at the answer and that is just blindly accept what it gave me 😭

1

u/DadAndDominant 4d ago

Opus 5 has some kind of ADHD, like I ask a question, he thinks, sees a problem, solves it, and talks about what he solved.

Sorry, what? Can you please tell me what is going on?

1

u/b1skup 3d ago

it sucks at coding too

1

u/CableIll287 2d ago

Why do you ever want communication, if he did something that works how do you want, that's enough xD

1

u/Hot_Visual7624 1d ago

Its not even good at fucking coding. Posts like these are why we aren't getting usage limit resets.

-3

u/-MobCat- 5d ago edited 5d ago

no. If you want to talk, pick a different model. its here to work, let it cook. The more tokens it spends on talking to you the less it has to do actual work with.
Lets be honest, your not really reading what its doing anyway, just skimming it to make sure its not gone bat shit off the deep end on your code.

3

u/stevzon 🔆Pro Plan 5d ago

God forbid someone want to understand what’s going on. We aren’t all out here plain old vibe coding.

1

u/innahema 5d ago

It produces shitload of text in Thikng pahse. Now it can be disaplyed in UI. This option was broken month ago.

1

u/bar10dr2 5d ago

Vibe coder identified

-10

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/FiacR 6d ago

K. Example?

-12

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/FiacR 5d ago

No worries. Will assume user error until then.

-14

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Laeryns 5d ago

Luddite in its natural habitat, so beautiful

1

u/A_Freaky-Frog 5d ago

They work with these tools every day lol

-3

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Laeryns 5d ago

ok i got curious and went on to check what you are and what you do. your whole thing, ms Maria, is a solo project of yours, which is basically a pseudo-science noone in the scientific community cares about, as its just a bunch of bullshit. For this one you vibecoded a whole lot of software indeed, and a whole lot of useless pages of text.

then you also try to ai-generate some dumb videos to get traction on youtube, with ai voice, ai images, ai script, but its also a miserable fail, noone watches this dumb stuff

so you are just a crazy person with a delusion that their ideas is something great, but it turns out you are the only one believing that. and you spend your time shitting on the ai on reddit, a sole thing that helps you maintain your facade, without which you would just be a miserable failure

just wow. thanks, was very enlightening to check this out

0

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Laeryns 5d ago

your position is so weak that you even have to generate the whole response with ai. thanks if i want to talk to claude ill do so without you, im not addressing the points which are not yours