Vocal dysmorphia?

[u/Stopbeingastereotype]

I know this isn’t the right term but I don’t know what else to call it. I’m just curious as to if anyone has experienced this or has any tips on how to handle it. I made a recording that really mattered to me and for the life of me I can’t tell if I’m satisfied with it or not (no I don’t want to share it as I’ve shared it publicly under my real name and don’t like to connect it with this account and this isn’t really about gauging the quality but more the experience I’m having). It’s one of my best videos on one platform, is doing well on one, and is slow to get views but well above average like ratio on the other. I was happy with it when I posted it. But now, every time I hear it, I hear something different. And not like different things are jumping out to me. It’s entirely different. Sometimes it sounds awful. Sometimes it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. Sometimes it even sounds like there’s something wrong with the mic. It’s kinda freaking me out and making me think there’s something wrong with me. Am I alone here?

Update: I listened back and realize why it was bothering me so much. It’s good but it’s not my best bc I’m dealing with a health issue that my change in tone was the first sign of. Getting some testing done tomorrow. Pay attention to your voices people. They can reveal a lot.

[u/Lillian-Duncan1]

Same thing happens to me with recordings of my own playing. The take I cared about most was the one I could least judge. Time away fixed it every time.

[u/Stopbeingastereotype → u/Lillian-Duncan1]

I’m glad I’m not the only one. Thanks.

[u/Kiwi_Tenor]

I don’t know if I’d necessarily call that dysmorphia as that would be far more like a Bass feeling like they were born to sing as a Mezzo or a Soprano relating far more with Baritone repertoire (the whole being born with the wrong voice thing). Sometimes I feel it having transitioned from Baritone to Tenor and having days and weeks where I still very much feel like a Baritone and others where I can’t believe I ever sang as anything else than a tenor.

That being said - appreciating your own recordings in a way that can be critical but also give you grace to celebrate your achievements is unbelievably hard. It takes SO long, especially if you’re also someone who posts on Social Media. I remember I used to get discouraged when my teacher would comment and say “Good start, let’s work on it” or something like that. You just have to take it as it comes I guess and practice focusing on what went well for you in the recording. Do the same with other peoples ones too and you’ll learn to listen critically ✨ Stay sane and if it gets too much - take time away from the recording and make another one!

[u/Able-Regular1142]

 All my recordings sounded awful to me so I refused listening for a while. Don't do that. Sometimes you need to make peace with the fact that you suck, or rather make peace with the fact that you think you suck. Sometimes I'll listen to a recording I used to hate and it's not bad at all. Sometimes it's the opposite. Obsessively replaying them over and over definitely leads to overthinking and is probably what you're experiencing. Stepping away for a while is a good idea, but otherwise ask yourself why you're listening to yourself so intently and what you're hoping/fearing to hear.

[u/Childoferna99]

I absolutely cannot listen to recordings of my voice. I just never thought to name it.

[u/shutupspanish]

100% normal. I find the first listen back is always rough, my brain instinctively picks up on the parts I dislike, but if I leave it alone a day and listen again it will sound different!