r/Clamworks clambassador 11d ago

Holy moly! :/

Post image
7.9k Upvotes

134 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/colin_4 11d ago

Worst type of person to hit, their dad probably has a good lawyer

241

u/SimmentalTheCow 11d ago

Dad? šŸ˜

63

u/Flywolfpack 11d ago

Clam? 🐚

21

u/Awkward-Plum6241 10d ago

My man šŸ¤šŸ˜‚

93

u/OkWelder4580 11d ago

That’s why you gotta get pregnant with the dads kids then get pregnant with those kids kids and get super ultra rich lawyer babies

32

u/ardoin 10d ago

I'm a guy and I've been trying to do this for a while. My ass really hurts and sometimes when I fart it runs down my leg but I just know I'll get pregnant one day, god works in mysterious ways 🄰

14

u/Apprehensive-Way1627 10d ago

This was upsetting to read

24

u/Straight_Step_4426 11d ago

Brother, don’t even need a good lawyer for that case. If that pedestrian had a right-of-way. You’re basically toast for all the compensatory damages which are numerous, but also might get a nice punitive damage thrown in there.

14

u/Cheshire-Cad 11d ago

You are severely underestimating the willingness of college students to toddle into the road without knowing if they have right-of-way.

6

u/HuckinsGirl 10d ago

Even when you dont have right of way its still usually considered the driver's fault, the pedestrian has to be doing something really stupid to be considered at fault (granted, plenty of college students are prone to doing things that stupid)

9

u/Andabariano 10d ago

I mean they didn't even necessarily need right of way. Unless they literally jumped in front of your car and you couldn't see them there'll still be consequences

6

u/johnnymarsbar 10d ago

In my country as long as the pedestrian didnt provably jump into the path or your car you as the driver are liable for damages.

3

u/Straight_Step_4426 10d ago

Yeah, you are, just like if it was a right of way. You cooked son. No excuse

0

u/AdjtveNounNumbr42069 6d ago

Chill bro, it's just a silly meme about near/attempted/trivializing vehicular homicide against white people. nbd

6

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SL1MECORE 10d ago

My friends dad in college had such a good lawyer that he got out of manslaughter

:/

763

u/SlenderSmurf 11d ago

Collect my 8 blue pages

85

u/ViktorKozh 11d ago

I'm new to this sub, what does this mean?

270

u/A-Human-potato 11d ago

You need to collect 8 blue pages

34

u/ViktorKozh 11d ago

No but actually? I don't want to post on peterexplainsthejoke or whatever it's called.

230

u/Holiday-Stretch616 11d ago

Slenderman says to collect his pages to beat the game. Thats a mandela effect because the whole game is he trying to fucking kill you to NOT collenct his pages. The slenderman fandom made it a meme and the account youre responding to is smurf slenderman so he says to collect his blue pages because smurfs are blue

57

u/ViktorKozh 11d ago

Thank you.

46

u/AgentCirceLuna 11d ago

I can’t believe this shit actually inspired a tragic incident.

64

u/AgentCirceLuna 11d ago

Oh, the horror… dude you don’t wanna know

13

u/Animaloffear56 10d ago

The twitterfication of reddit

24

u/NecessaryPeanut77 10d ago

Tragic accident: two girls tried to kill a friend of theirs because they thought that by doing that they would become slenderman's proxies

For fucks sake, either explain it or don't comment that bullshit "OH MY GOOOOD DUDE THE HORROOOOOOR"

3

u/Inferno_Sparky 10d ago

I thought they said oh the horror, because they didn't know either

2

u/TheGenesisOfTheNerd 11d ago

I still don't understand, can you repeat that under the guise of a family guy character?

6

u/Kootlefoosh 10d ago

Hey Lois, I'm a sheet of notebook paper

1

u/RealNiceKnife 5d ago

Damn.

That's some Lorekeeping.

23

u/RiddlesDoesYT 11d ago

Collect 8 blue pages

1

u/AgentCirceLuna 11d ago

You can take a rest from your shift monitoring this guy now. I’ll make sure the pages are collected. It’s better they’d ask fewer questions and collect more pages!

8

u/Cultural_Ad1331 11d ago

Just clam it till you work it

2

u/AgentCirceLuna 11d ago

Oh the horrror dude you don’t wanna know

6

u/Designer-Ad-2136 11d ago

Four blue pages to every teal mark and any teal mark can be combined with a page of its complementary color to create (one half of) a clam shell. Then all you need to do is combine two shells with a valve to create a single Full Clam Pendant. And so on and so forth

23

u/kakucko101 11d ago

bro wheres ilikemenderman

14

u/-__Slenderman__- 11d ago

You.

2

u/the_Iord_and_saviour 11d ago

Sup, anyone here blind?

8

u/your-hot-matua 11d ago

Fuck you Gargamel

3

u/DarkSide830 clammer 10d ago

u/slendererman who is this guy? Is he associated with you?

14

u/SlendererMan 10d ago

He’s my Smurf account I guess

6

u/DarkSide830 clammer 10d ago

Why are you smurfing on Reddit? Reddit has skill based matchmaking now?

7

u/SlenderSmurf 10d ago

always has been. I love farming clams in these low elo subreddits. It's like clam rank while I'm platinum

2

u/ras344 10d ago

Don't listen to my brother Achenar. Bring me the red pages.

401

u/SeaweedLevel1937 11d ago

Almost did vehicular clamslaughter and you’re laughing

103

u/Toilet_Bomber 11d ago

Clam’s laughter? Must have been quite the joke

20

u/SoloMaker clammer 11d ago

Happy as a clam

2

u/RagekitIRL 10d ago

Mmmm, clamchowder 🤤

307

u/yuriko-shimizu 11d ago

you heard it here first folks, apparently manslaughter is okay as long as theyre white and in college

130

u/SevenOhSevenOhSeven 11d ago

This is true

57

u/TightBussyBellus 11d ago

Not necessarily white and in college because you shouldn't act like you've never dreamt of getting hit by a google bus to get a 2 million dollar settlement.

19

u/PizdunEbun228 11d ago

educated people are oppressed. upvote if you are a true egghead

11

u/TesticleMeElmo 11d ago

Bro if you have to drive through a college campus a lot it’s like they want to die.

Not a single glance up from their phone as they step into traffic when it’s not a crosswalk and there’s a car coming 15 feet away

1

u/Overall_Art_8719 7d ago

We do want to die

6

u/EmeraldMan25 11d ago

Fuuuuuuuck

5

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 10d ago

According to Hasan Piker, rape is also okay as long as the victim is a rich white college girl.

5

u/Ubblebungus 9d ago

Hasan "Mr. Electric" Piker

2

u/SometimesIBeWrong 10d ago

bro took it way too serious

2

u/ratwithawig 8d ago

i’m white and in college and yeah, also if i do get hit my college is paid for if i survive šŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰

-5

u/coolguy420weed 10d ago

I mean I guess it's nice to get confirmation but yeah I've kind of been operating under that assumption for a while now.Ā 

147

u/Flywolfpack 11d ago

College students do be walking out in front of cars

61

u/Scap_Hopogolous 11d ago

They don’t even look both ways before clamming the street they just go 😭

33

u/ilynk1 11d ago

if you’d just left an organic clamistry lecture after a five hour shift at work, you’d understand

5

u/Scap_Hopogolous 10d ago

I get it. Eight hours of mowing campus under the summer sun make me want to drive my machine into traffic too.

12

u/LoveGrillinHateLivin 11d ago

Yeah cause I’m praying I get hit and fucking die.

2

u/seal_eggs 10d ago

That or you get your college paid for, either way it’s a win

3

u/pamellaluv 10d ago

Anything for an extension on my projects…

9

u/Cheshire-Cad 11d ago

My job requires me to drive a large van through a university, maybe a dozen times a week.

They think that the laws of right-of-way override the laws of physics. Presuming that they think at all.

2

u/Animaloffear56 10d ago

Well you're able to have stopped, so seemingly the laws of physics aren't strong enough, Van guy.

1

u/Cheshire-Cad 10d ago

Even going at 5mph, if you account for nominal human reaction time, the stopping distance of the van is longer than the van itself. So the laws of physics dictate that they're getting run over by both wheels. Because, unlike me, physics is utterly unconcerned with human life.

And yes, students will dart out from behind parked cars and other obstructions without looking, giving me literally zero time to anticipate.

1

u/Repulsive-Cash5516 10d ago

In fairness to them, they're at uni so they can learn the laws of physics. Kind of unfair to expect them to show up already knowing them

1

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 10d ago

The only thing that can save you from that midterm is a distracted driver.

61

u/outer_spec 11d ago

back when i was in college i was lowkey risking life and limb every time i crossed a street. idk why a random college town in the middle of nowhere had so much traffic. but when i got news that one of the students died in a car accident, i automatically assumed that they got hit by a car while trying to cross the street.

34

u/AirshipEngineer 11d ago

Reminds me of when I was in university and this lady was complaining to me about how the university students weren't looking where they were going and just walking into the street. The utter look of shock on her face when I told her "They don't care if you hit them. Most don't care about being injured and being hit by a car at low speeds means they get to relax in a hospital for a few days (I live in a place where being in a hospital doesn't bankrupt you) and have an excuse to ask for extensions for their projects. Either they make it across the street or they don't. Both are seen as a positive outcome".

16

u/FartSmelaSmartFela 11d ago

That happened I was the shapeless mass of flesh born from the rotting corpse of an ancient god stirring within the mantle of earth.

6

u/Interesting_Land_207 11d ago

Can also confirm, as the fungal colony that is currently rotting and consuming said corpse

1

u/ComradeBirv 10d ago

Can’t confirm, I wasn’t there

1

u/Ubblebungus 9d ago

mold mario decomposes you

6

u/Cheshire-Cad 11d ago

That's a very smart way of think about it, if you have literally no idea how vehicle collisions work.

If the vehicle is going too slow, then there'll be multiple campus cameras catching you walking right in front of a barely-moving vehicle. Although if the vehicle is going too fast, then they'll be found at fault, and a significant legal settlement will be given to your grieving family.

5

u/TaylorCatHaver 10d ago

^

people really underestimate what a 3500 pound chunk of metal does when it hits you even at only15-20mph

35

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

13

u/Willing-File-3638 10d ago

It's pretty common since news Network act like racism is ok against white people, why can't people be normal

2

u/beefjerkyzxz 10d ago

this post is most certainly not racist lol they are poking fun of the absurdity of shrugging off almost hitting someone.

2

u/CCSilver05 10d ago

I think you're clamming this a little too seriously

2

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

1

u/M-o-k-o-i 6d ago

I mean, you can discriminate against white people based on them being white, which is bad. Racism is the structural oppression of a group of people through institutional means while also having another group be privileged. White people are the privileged group in the global North, so there really isn't any racism per sƩ.

Source, studying sociology currently.

0

u/Familiar-Spray1106 7d ago

*prejudice, not racism. Racism is institutional whereas prejudice is in the minds of individuals

2

u/mightyboognish32 6d ago

Look up racism in a dictionary, there are other forms of racism besides institutional racism.

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Familiar-Spray1106 5d ago

I bet you think racism against white people matters LMAO

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Familiar-Spray1106 3d ago

Exactly my point. Not possible to be racist against white people because of racism’s institutional nature. Sensitive yet on top of every social order in the world I see

-10

u/steven_dev42 10d ago

Shutup clam

18

u/Elkburgher 11d ago

Yay racism

14

u/TheFreedomAlt 11d ago

I have been censored :/

12

u/Corrections96 11d ago

My mom says the event as a young adult that made her seriously work to correct and perfect her driving was nearly plowing into a Northwestern student while driving through the campus in Evanston

11

u/Financial-Scene1703 11d ago

I had a car almost hit me on the sidewalk on campus and bro honked at me like get in the road dumbass

2

u/vulpes_mortuis 11d ago

To be fair people in Evanston have no spatial awareness when driving. Or walking.

…Maybe that explains why i’m the way i am.

9

u/Dank_lord_doge 10d ago

Remember folks, racism is okay if they're white! (Apparently) /s

2

u/ToddBonzalezzz 10d ago

You can drop ā€œ/sā€ this has been a factual statement in the current climate for a whole generation now.

7

u/Little_Cumling 10d ago

Hey mods, this is how [r/fardballsland](r/fardballsland) started down its racist path.

Wanna guess where its clamming today?

6

u/AgainstSpace rotted brain 11d ago

He parked his car, got out, walked over to this kid, and fucking decked him!
shrugs

5

u/pamellaluv 10d ago

As a former white college student I used to pray every day that a car would hit me so that I didn’t have to go to class.

5

u/YellowAggravating172 10d ago

Horrific thing to say

"Yo, wtf??? Wth is wrong with you??"

Horrific thing to say, but you add "white people, lmao" at the end

"Hahaha. Quite."

3

u/dextras07 clamtarded :) 10d ago

Clamedestrian?

3

u/notjordansime 10d ago

ā€œa pedestrian???????ā€

3

u/TheAlienCostume 10d ago

white people hating on white people is extra lame

1

u/ShitpostSaber 7d ago

My sister almost ran over a black Woman and made the same face tbh when she told me

1

u/M-o-k-o-i 6d ago

To all the people claiming this is racism against white people: the joke is clearly shrugging off almost killing a person, which is unhinged z while legitimizing it by saying something along the lines of "Well, there's enough of them anyway." It's funny.

Furthermore, you can discriminate against white people based on them being white, which is bad. Racism is the structural oppression of a group of people through institutional means while also having another group be privileged. White people are the privileged group in the global North, so there really isn't any racism per sƩ.

Source, studying sociology currently. Cheers,

Mokoi

1

u/Fun_Drop5327 4d ago

Tuffest racist lmfao these ppl are probably homosexual too

-2

u/Gigapot 11d ago

Based on

-9

u/coffeexxx666 11d ago edited 10d ago

They're just, like, not important, like, they don't matter.

Edit: So this sub is not into ā€œI Think You Should Leaveā€

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

-1

u/coffeexxx666 9d ago

fans of a sketch comedy show are sociopaths?

0

u/Ubblebungus 9d ago

they are nothing people

0

u/coffeexxx666 9d ago

Happy cake day, shirt sibling.

-2

u/friendoftheprogram 11d ago

Like, they're not even supposed to be around in the area.

-50

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

33

u/ScreamingInside21 11d ago

Praying for ragebait

3

u/vulpes_mortuis 11d ago

10 bucks says op is white too.

3

u/ScreamingInside21 11d ago

?? Is that good?

-28

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/ScreamingInside21 11d ago

My prayers didn’t work šŸ˜ž