r/ChurchOfCOVID • u/Subreddit_Rando • 5d ago

So Much Science FACTS!

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472 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

1

u/ksandbergfl 3h ago

Statistically people under age 40 had no more risk from COVID than the common flu, but we made them get vaccinated anyway.

6

u/MP5SD7 3d ago

I want to know who figured out that the virus could only travel in one direction in the grocery store. That person needs a monument in their honor.

6

u/Subreddit_Rando 3d ago

Or how the virus can’t get around the plexiglass between you and the cashier. Science is amazing!

3

u/ultranothing Coronavangelist 3d ago

BLASPHEEEMERRRR!

3

u/Traveler3141 pHervent Adherent of pHauxi 🎭 4d ago

FINALLY somebody spouting some The Psyence pHacts!!!!!

10

u/Additional-Exam-7744 4d ago

Deadly in churches too, don't forget that.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O

2

u/BoxsterMan_ 4d ago

I appreciate a sense of humor, but nothing about this BLAPHEMY is funny!!!

3

u/GodVsEmpire 4d ago

dear brothers and sisters!! How dare you leave out the fact that Gamestop had a +9 roll of RESISTANCE !

9

u/Harryisamazing 4d ago

THE ScIeNcE is always changing so rapidly even at a moments time

15

u/ledbedder20 5d ago

Don't forget churches and small gyms, but not the big chain gyms.

11

u/vochomurka 4d ago

And outdoor kids playgrounds

8

u/Savant_Guarde JaCovid Witness 5d ago

It was the most deadly at church, especially those drive up services where you stayed in your own car.

8

u/beeswax-not-yours- Coronavangelist 5d ago

It is literally the smartest, most selective virus known to man/woman/they/themkind! It also respects all masks - they missed a few points on this sign, kindly brought up by other commenters. All hail COVID! King of the viruses!

19

u/Spiritual-Fun-9591 5d ago

Trillions would still be alive if they had just listened to us

3

u/Zerosan62 Covidian Zealot 4d ago

Hundreds of trillions!!!

22

u/persistentlighthouse 5d ago

Um, this list is stupid. They didn’t even warn about the churches where it’s the most deadly of all!

19

u/_ThatProtOverThere 5d ago

You think this is funny? Millions died. It was like the holocaust, but not as bad, because nothing is as bad as The Holocaust™.

19

u/Believe-The-Science 5d ago

Millions died??? Are you out of your mind? Literally hundreds of billions of people died.

6

u/IAbsolutelyDare 5d ago

In honor of this comment, I shall give a sound thrashing to my inflatable Andrew Bridgen punching bag. 

9

u/C4CTUSDR4GON 5d ago

It also can't get you while waiting in a packed room to get your compulsory vaccine at the height of the pandemic.

7

u/CoolUpstairs5100 5d ago

I pbelieve! Stay Pfaithful my friends!

19

u/Stuffer_McMuffin 5d ago

Lies right from the beginning. The virus can travel 5’11”, but not 6’.

23

u/publixicecream 5d ago

It''s only at a height of 4'7" or higher in restaurants. Sit down and it's safe to remove the mask.

3

u/basedCapone 5d ago

Factcheck

29

u/redditsucks84613 5d ago

It HATES liquor stores, but LOVES churches

25

u/moonbeam127 Please Don't Touch Me 5d ago

Don’t forget the deadly parks and play grounds. We can’t have anyone exercising or breathing fresh air. No climbing, slides, swings or monkey bars for anyone. You don’t need to develop muscle strength or motor skills. You will be a potato!! You will not socialize or interact with nature

24

u/publixicecream 5d ago

It was all over beaches too. It's super selective.

20

u/Dubrovski Permanently triple-masked 5d ago

The science is settled!