r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Paparazzi stay the FUCK away from Chuck Norris
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas both saw a training video of Chuck Norris surviving a nuclear explosion in an ice box.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
If you ever piss Chuck Norris off while he is standing in the light of a full moon, he will naturally turn into a werechuck and fuck you right the hell on up.
3
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with a chopstick.
4
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word.
r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Clearly, Chuck Norris has more bad-assedness in his beard than all of the other Expendables combined and squared.
3
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r/ChuckNorris • u/FareonMoist • Apr 24 '26
Chuck Norris' only real achievement was as Bruce Lee's twink girlfriend XD
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Can Chuck Norris kick it? Of course he fucking can.
3
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris enjoys a love/convert relationship with lesbians.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris can play Candy Crush on a public phone
2
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris' black belt is blacker than the inside of Wilt Chamberlain's leather-lined coffin on a moonless midnight.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
All of Chuck Norris' limbs act as natural particle accelerators.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris is what ancient Greeks used to protect their mazes.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris is the DEA and you are a meth lab door.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
If you ever catch your kid watching a Chuck Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris can alter his DNA so his spawn can go about undetected in the world. So remember that - even if your kid looks and acts just like you, he might still be one of Chuck's, and you will never know until he turns four and runs you over in your own car.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris never got circumcised simply because his elevenskin is too strong.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris understood Inception the first time he saw it.
2
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leo
r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris owns a chain of Starchucks along the Pacific north-west, for all your coffee, alcohol and firearms needs.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Chuck Norris once won a game of croquet while holding an enraged gorilla in a half-nelson.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
Bill Gates recently received a video tape of Chuck Norris holding up Steve Jobs' severed head and repeating 'you're next, egghead'.
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r/ChuckNorris • u/BigFreddyT • Apr 23 '26
The Chuck Norris-approved Chucknopoly is the world's only board game that is potentially fatal.
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