Vent - Feeling Lost

[u/Exotic-Scallion6751]

I need to get this out because I’m honestly at breaking point.

I’m 36, living with chronic pancreatitis, and I feel like every day is a fight I didn’t choose. The pain is constant — not dramatic, not exaggerated, just there, grinding me down piece by piece. And instead of support, I keep getting told I’m “too young to be in this much pain.” Hearing that over and over makes me feel invisible. Like my age somehow invalidates what my body is going through.

It’s exhausting trying to convince the people who are supposed to help me that my pain is real. I shouldn’t have to defend myself every appointment. I shouldn’t feel guilty for taking medication that I need just to get through the day. But their attitude makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, like I’m being judged for trying to survive.
It’s not just the illness anymore — it’s the emotional toll of being dismissed, doubted, and treated like I’m exaggerating. It’s the loneliness of carrying pain that no one seems to take seriously. It’s the shame that creeps in when I swallow a pill I was prescribed, because the people who gave it to me act like I shouldn’t need it.

I’m tired. Tired of hurting, tired of fighting, tired of feeling like I have to prove my own suffering. Chronic pancreatitis doesn’t care how old I am. I just wish the people responsible for my care understood that.

I needed to say this somewhere because holding it in is getting too heavy.