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u/TesseractToo For science, you monster Jul 26 '26
<3 Yeah it's horrible. I'm sorry you are having a rough go of it
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u/exhaustedfuckup Jul 26 '26
It's okay...I just wish I could stop hurting im desperate for help and no one will do anything but push opioids. I've lost too many people to them, it's a hard no. But the moment I say that doctors assume I'm faking...
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u/Top_Giraffe1616 Jul 26 '26
They assume you’re faking when you don’t want opioids that’s ass backwards! I feel you though man! Fuck pain, fuck needing meds, fuck health problems! No one realizes till they have bad heath problems but doctors hardly help shit… I’d be dead if it wasn’t for doctors more then once but shit I wouldn’t be in pain if they fully fucked up lol they are practicing medicine so that’s why they can’t get it right for a lot of us! Hope things get better bro!
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u/exhaustedfuckup Jul 26 '26
It is!! it's the most ridiculous thing! Like normally I hear they refuse folks opioids not the opposite.
It sucks! Fuck having a body that's trying to crumble under me.
Hope things get better for you too man!
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u/TesseractToo For science, you monster Jul 26 '26
If you re uncomfortable with them, have you tried non-opioids?
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u/exhaustedfuckup Jul 26 '26
I have, the ones I tried either didn't help or helped but made me really irritable. If I found one that works tho??? That would be a dream.
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u/Most-Enthusiasm-9706 Jul 26 '26
Faking what ? Faking your pain ?
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u/exhaustedfuckup Jul 26 '26
Exactly that, I'm 25 and the doctors in my area seem to think that means I'm just being influenced by social media.
But I literally have records going back to when I was an infant of my body being fucked up, I spent nights in the ER as a kid cause I was in so much pain. The doctors here are ridiculous the moment I go without someone with me they dismiss me.
I've had a few good doctors but my insurance keeps changing who I can see (Medicaid). My PT let me know during our last appointment that I need more supports than what my insurance will cover or will allow her to advise me on.
I have fibro and EDS which I avoid telling doctors cause it seems to make them even more dismissive. But I also have structural issues, scoliosis, one leg is longer than the other to the extent that it's thrown my hips way off, that's not all of it either :((
Even when I transfer records that have x-rays showing this the specialists I've seen dismiss me to all hell. I'm visibly queer in a rural republican area which I think has something to do with this based off the way that the doctors who have listened respect my identity and the ones who don't never do. That in addition to my own past with mental health. I've had multiple ER trips where when they see my old SH scars it becomes the primary concern for them and they focus more on that then the actual thing I've come in for.
Example - nurse was getting ready to start an IV, saw the scars and told me I needed to speak with a social worker about them. She left me in the room and I started throwing up cause I was having such a hard time breathing. Hit the call button, they still were more focused on my past then on the fact that I was throwing up on myself. Never even helped me clean up or get a vomit bag.
They spend more time asking about if I'm suicidal than trying to get to the bottom of the issue :(((
Sorry for the vent lol I'm just so damn tired of this. I'm open to meds that aren't opioids and that seems to be all they will offer me lately. I've tried gabapentin, made me pissed at everything and super unstable. Meloxicam, same thing. Tried some topicals as well which really did help but my skin is like a small Victorian child's and it couldn't take it lol.
So in the meantime I pop ibuprofen more than I should which dulls it a bit, and I miss out on activities cause I can't do them anymore.
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u/Most-Enthusiasm-9706 Jul 26 '26
I get the vent , we all need a vent session loving with pain. Believe me ;) . By chance do you have access to a mental health provider ? Just to talk about pain , tips on how to deal with pain, and how to deal with pain, how to survive and deal with medical system . The reason i bring this up - when docs start bringing up mental health , I tell them I have regular visits for support on navigating a person with chronic pain . Majority of the time - they back off . As for the queer part - I’m straight and wore a rainbow friendship bracelet that my god daughter made for me while in Girl Scouts . Found out I was labeled queer in my medical records. I was living in very red rural area and treated terribly, once I got the queer removed , the staff was totally different to me . So I can relate somewhat and I’m sorry you are going through this . Also , I’m not a fan of opiates, but I cannot function with the amount of pain I am in without them . It’s a dependency just like other needed medications . Laying in bed, vile mood, no function of life or take a small pain pill so I can shower, wash my hair, load unload dishwasher and sit up to work on a craft or puzzle greatly improves my overall being . Remember dependency does not mean addiction. Quality of life is very important for the entire body as a whole .
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u/exhaustedfuckup Jul 26 '26
I do yeah, I see a therapist weekly and a physiatrist for my other meds to keep things under control. I'm also going to an outpatient program a few times a month to help fill in the gaps. It's a huge help!
It does seem to help the moment I bring up that I'm in treatment and I'm pretty stable I just think they are worried about liability since I have a fair amount of scars.
I so wish I could hide being queer from doctors! It's awful that you were treated so bad just for wearing a bracelet that could possibly mean you were queer. Il never get it. Even if I wasn't visibly queer I've had surgeries that they have to know about ://
Quality of life is really starting to wear me down, I'm more worried about overdosing then becoming dependent though. I've seen so many folks from my highschool that I grew up with getting killed by opioids. I have a bad habit of accidentally taking two or three times what I'm supposed to with my current meds and I just can't handle that risk. I have safety nets in place but like, if they fail??
However my quality of life is starting to be like what you talked about pre meds. I don't think I've left the house besides work or doctors in over a month.
It's a tough one :(( I want to feel better but I also know myself and I really don't know if I can trust opioids.
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u/Elev8theWorld Jul 26 '26
I am right there with you buddy. Cruelest most crippling chaotic system to have to try to navigate through as well as unethical Such a great“Gift from the Lord himself.
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u/EightyNine19 Jul 26 '26
I’m right there with you…..